Something Is Real
by teresa
Summary: As everyone slowly comes together for the common goal of defeating Naraku, relationships are tested and immeasurably changed.
1. Wind

Look!  I'm writing another fic that will get like three reviews since it doesn't have a main couple in it!  Either I'm brave or I don't give a shit any more.  I'll leave it to you to decide which it is.

*****

Something Is Real

*****

"Damn." Kagura sighed and rolled her eyes as she watched from high above the ground on the feather that kept her out of the battle far below.  "How hard is it to kill _one_ youkai…I swear, you'd think everyone around here has some sort of condition.  Oh well, I suppose it's time for me to make a discreet exit before Naraku notices that I was just sitting here watching instead of helping him.  Yeah, like I want to be _his_ meat shield."  Letting the wind sweep her away, she wondered vaguely if Kanna would get out of the castle in time for Naraku to obliterate it and leave the ruins in favor of some new lair.  "If he thinks I'm flying her around, he's wrong.  She creeps me out.  Someone needs to teach her the wonders of conversation…" Kagura stopped talking to herself as a slimy feeling crept up her spine, alerting her of Naraku's proximity.  _Typical.  He can't even give them a chance to get them while he's on the run.  Disgusting cloud…soul…thing.  My hair is going to smell bad now…_

"Kagura, we need to find a new castle." His voice was somehow more frightening when it didn't seem to be coming from a mouth, but instead surrounding her and filling her head as though he was speaking directly into her mind.  Perhaps he was, but she doubted it.  If he was capable of reading her thoughts, she would have long ago rejoined the rest of Naraku as just one more spare part that was no good on it's own.  _After all, what use does he have for someone that can think for themselves?_  She thought bitterly, biting her lip to hold back some sort of snide comment.  Weakened though he was by the attack that had occurred after she "accidentally" led the group of Inuyasha and his friends to the castle, he was still more than capable of dispatching her with little effort on his part.

"Yes, I know." She managed to make it sound as though she could possibly be mocking him, but was just as likely being as subservient as he hoped her to be.  She had mastered that tone of voice over months and months of practice.  It was almost how she always spoke to him now that she had perfected it.  The small victories…those were really all she had.  _As obviously no one in this idiotic world will_ ever _be able to kill him, so I can take that one off my list of possible ambitions._

"When we arrive, I'll be sending you out again." Naraku directed her as she scanned the ground far below them for a new place for Naraku to take over.  "I have a job for you."

"I can hardly wait." She suspected that he caught the mocking in that comment, but he was used to her begrudging his control over her by then.  He surely wouldn't punish her for being a smart ass.

"It occurs to me that the jewel is nearly complete." Naraku elaborated, just as naturally as though Kagura had not just reminded him of her bitter anger toward him.  "I should hope to take care of some unfinished business.  Two birds with one stone, as it were."

"How brilliant." She rolled her eyes.  If he were in a bad mood, she would have already known.  He was surprisingly allowing for having just barely escaped death yet _again._  He had an annoying habit of never _quite_ dying.  He was like that bloodstain on Kagura's kimono that was so utterly impossible to remove.  At least it was near the hem, where no one bothered to look anyway.  She suspected that Naraku wasn't giving her a new kimono simply because he liked to piss her off.  She could tell that Naraku was waiting for her to ask what his brilliant plan was, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction.  She was still in a bad mood about him not dying yet again, and she wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of her curiosity.  Instead, she glanced back in the direction of the old castle.  "Is Kanna alright?"

"She's just ahead here.  She found the new place for us as soon as I decided to leave that hanyou behind." Naraku told her.  Kagura thought it was rather amusing the way he avoided saying he had run away, as that was in truth what had happened.  She supposed it wasn't all that bad, after all.  Naraku didn't suspect her treachery, and he had suffered quite a bit.  At least she would be there to betray him once more.  _As many times as it takes.  One of these days, I know you'll run out of tricks._

"Shall I just drop you off then?  Or would you like me to pick out a room?" Kagura asked him in a biting tone.  She knew the place he must mean was the secluded compound just ahead.  He would never want to live in the middle of a village, though he might thoroughly enjoy torturing the inhabitants.  _So boring.  I don't understand why he's so obsessed with people's emotions and pain.  Can't he just live his own life?_

"You'll need to take a couple of shards with you." Naraku told her, his voice as utterly malicious as it was when he was plotting something especially despicable.  _Why can't he just do the disgustingly evil stuff on his own?  It's not like he doesn't like it._

"What for?" she decided that she might as well ask.  He'd be upset if she just ran off with a couple shards and didn't do what he wanted since she had no idea what his orders were.

"You will find the wolf youkai." He told her.  "Give them to him."

"Kouga?" Kagura felt uneasy for a moment.  "He already has two shards."

"Yes, he will come for two more.  You will trap him.  The bait is something that will be irresistible to him." Naraku laughed, and Kagura felt as though she might be getting a slight headache.  She began to descend toward the building where Kanna was apparently waiting for them.

"Two shards?" Kagura couldn't stop herself from snorting derisively.  "You think all I have to do is put two shards in a cage and he'll run in blind?  He's not _that_ stupid, you know.  Two shards wouldn't just be lying around by themselves for no reason."

"That is why you will be with the shards.  He will come to the feel of the shards, and the smell of you.  The combination will be too much for him to resist, and he will be easily captured.  Do not worry, I will be the one to close the trap." Naraku assured her as they found the ground, and in a swirl of smoke, he was standing before her, looking a bit worse for the wear.

"With me in it?" Kagura raised her eyebrows.  "With Kouga and two extra shards?"

"Is there a problem?" he asked as they walked inside, stepping over the already soulless bodies of the castle's former occupants.  "Ah, I see that Kanna has been cleaning up for us.  Here you are." He handed Kagura two shards, smiling at her in a way that made her feel even worse about the safety of this little errand.  "There is a cave just west of here, near a waterfall.  That is where you will go to wait for the wolf.  He should be along shortly if I am correct."

"Alright." Kagura bit the syllables out, clutching the shards so tightly she nearly cut herself on their sharp edges before loosening her grip more reasonably and taking off in her enchanted feather.  She knew that Naraku wasn't telling her everything, but she couldn't figure out exactly what was off about the whole situation except for the fact that it seemed like an awful lot of trouble just to lure the wolf in.

----------

Kagura eyed her fingernails critically as she stood in the dank cave, waiting as she had all day for Kouga to sense her presence and approach.  "Maybe I should grow these out." She mused, imagining how her nails would look if they were a bit longer.  Maybe pointed and dyed with berry juice like she'd seen some girls do in the last castle they'd stayed in.  Actually, she'd only noticed the care they'd put into their hands while she was moving their bodies about, trying to clear the hallways, but all the same…

"Maybe they'll be long by the time wolf boy senses me.  Then I can just dye them with his blood.  That would be a nice shade of red…match my kimono." She sighed as she caught sight of the ever-irritating bloodstain near the hem.  "Although…they'd dry brown.  I hate that color…maybe I'll just find some of that lacquer the noblewomen use."  Kagura started playing with her fan, snapping it open and closed with experimental twitches of her wrist as she tried to make the gesture look more impressive.  "Yeah…this would definitely look better if I stained my nails." She mused, looking critically down at her hand while holding the fan open.

"You." The word was a hiss so malevolent that if it hadn't been for the voice, Kagura might have mistaken the speaker for Naraku.  Feeling extremely stupid about being caught goofing off instead of paying attention to Kouga's approach, she decided to act as though she was simply standing ready to attack.

"So, you came after all." She whirled, smiling as her fan caught the wind and shot a few blasts at him, which he dodged easily enough.  Of course, he wasn't quite in the cave yet.  Not that she blamed him.  It all seemed pretty suspicious, even if he did want to kill her and steal the shards.  "I was beginning to think that nose on your face was just for show."

"You…lured me here?" Kouga's eyes narrowed, and he stepped toward her cautiously, stepping just inside the mouth of the cave.

"Of course.  Do you think I spend a lot of time in nasty old caves?" Kagura arched an eyebrow.

"You might have been looking for a nice pet.  Maybe a relative of yours." He indicated a millipede that was scurrying across the wall near him.

"Oh, very funny." She gave him a brief smirk wondering if it was her pleasant job to kill this asshole once he was locked in the cave with her.  _How can I even tell when we've been shut in?_  She hadn't thought of that.  Kagura supposed the best way was to simply start fighting with him and assume that once she started to win, he'd try and run away, and then she'd know if the cave was blocked or not.  Suddenly, she heard a loud buzzing which she knew at once must be Naraku's bees, but instead of coming to watch her or delivering some message, they hovered just outside the mouth of the cave, causing Kouga to eye them warily.

"What are those things—" he was cut off as a large rockslide closed off the mouth of the cave and Kagura felt the distinctive possibility that she knew which two birds Naraku was killing with his all-too-literal stone.

"Oh, well that's just perfect.  I'm killing him if I ever get out of here." Kagura allowed herself a good brief pout, during which time Kouga figured out what was going on.  Well, most of what was going on, anyway.

"We're trapped in here?" he asked her in surprised anger.  Obviously, he was no more a fan of being tricked by Naraku than she was.

"It would appear that way.  Although…" Kagura gave an experimental wave of her fan toward the place where the entrance had been, not bothering to tell Kouga to move out of the way.  Of course, it wasn't really a problem, as nothing happened.

"What was that?  You're still trying to kill me!" Kouga snarled angrily as he approached her with his fists clenched.

"Get over it.  You could have dodged, and it was barely any wind anyway." Kagura eyed her fan with growing worry.  So, he'd not only locked them in a cave together, he'd blocked their youki with some sort of barrier.  Naraku and his damn barriers.  "Hey, Kouga."

"What?" he was still mad about the so-called murder attempt.

"Try digging out." She pointed imperiously behind him at the cascade of rocks.

"Ha!  I can kick my way out of this with one good…" he leapt into the air, flying at the wall with his shard strengthened legs, but even though they did cause some rocks to crumble and fall away, the kick was nowhere near as strong as it should have been.  "What the hell?"

"That's what I thought." She sighed and closed her fan, replacing it in her obi and crossing her arms angrily.  "He's blocking our youki.  We have to get out of here the old fashioned way if we want out at all."  Kagura suddenly remembered the shards he'd given her.  "Although, I do think it would be a shame to let these go to waste…" she eyed the two glittering fragments speculatively, remembering when Naraku had created a fake shard to trick Kouga before.  She refused to fall for something like that.  "Hey, wolf boy."

"Kouga.  My name is Kouga." He told her angrily.

"Whatever.  Can you tell if these are fake?" she handed him the shards, despite serious misgivings about this plan.  He looked at her questioningly before turning them over in his hand, sniffing both of them and finally licking one cautiously.  "Well?"

"You can use those if you want." He handed them back.  "But they're made of some strong ass poison, so I wouldn't recommend it."

"Look…" Kagura hesitated, her pride screaming objections to what she was about to say, but it couldn't be helped.  "I know that we'd just as soon kill each other rather than become allies, but I think…we should probably call a truce until we get out of here."

"And how the hell will I know you aren't waiting until I trust you to stab me in the back?" he was immediately opposed to the idea.

"With what?  The handle of my fan?" Kagura leveled a dry gaze at him.  "Neither of us is really up for a fight right now anyway.  Let's just get out of here, and then we can kill each other.  Okay?"

"Well…you're trapped in here with me." Kouga noted.  "Although I don't know why Naraku would try to kill you too.  You're his servant, aren't you?"

"I'm not…the most loyal." Kagura told him after a pause.  When he blinked at her, she elaborated.  "Today, I tried for the umpteenth time to get him killed, but I think he must have figured it out, so he's done with me."

"You tried to kill him?" Kouga snorted.  "Why?"

"Why do _you_ want to kill him?" Kagura was not in the mood for stupid questions.  "Everyone has their reasons, and I have mine as well.  That's enough; let's get out of here.  I'm pretty sure that Naraku assumed we'd just kill each other and then let the bees take your shards, so they'll be waiting when we break through."  Kouga nodded and immediately began digging through the rubble to try and break back through the entrance while Kagura stood watching him.  This went on for a few moments before Kouga stopped and looked over at her expectantly.

"Well?" he indicated the wall of rocks and dirt.  "Aren't you helping?"

"You're doing a fine job." She waved a hand at him to indicate that he should continue.  "I'd only get in the way.  I'm not much for menial tasks."  At first she thought that Kouga didn't understand something about what she'd said since he stood there staring at her and blinking in disbelief, but he spoke up after a few moments.

"If you want out, you're helping." He pointed at the wall again.  "If you don't help, I'll beat the crap out of you right now."

"What for?" Kagura raised her eyebrows to show she felt that any attack was completely unwarranted.

"What for?  Well, let's see." Kouga began to tick reasons off on his fingers.  "First of all, I hate your fucking guts.  Second, you're an annoying bitch.  Third, I hate the way you reek like something that's dead.  Fourth, I owe you for killing all those other wolves.  Those were my kinsmen!  Did you think I'd just let you off without a fucking second thought?"

"Okay, fine, fine." She rolled her eyes.  "Are you done?"

"No, I got plenty more reasons I'd like to kill you." Kouga told her.  "Wanna hear them?"

"Maybe later.  Let's just get to digging." Kagura felt extremely put out as she moved to help and discovered that kimonos were obviously not designed for doing any sort of labor.  "Ugh, this is hard.  Can't you do it yourself?"

"Don't give me a reason, bitch." He cracked his knuckles menacingly.

"Kagura.  My name's Kagura." She offered him a snide grin before hitching up her kimono, pulling the skirt up and back, tucking it into her obi on both sides before rolling up her sleeves and looking at the final effect dubiously.  "My kimono is going to be wrinkled."

"Cry me a fucking river." Kouga tossed a rock he'd just moved at her, and she dodged it just in time.  "Now get over here and do something useful."

"Wow, it's no surprise that the wolves put _you_ in charge." Kagura snorted as she kneeled beside him and began digging at the debris blocking them in.  "You're _so_ charismatic."

"I'm going to kill you." He told her in a voice that was completely calm, as though he might have been telling her about the weather.  "Now less talk, more digging."

"That's boring of you." Kagura snorted derisively.  "Is that how you order your little lackeys around?"

"They're my _tribe_, not my lackeys." Kouga grumbled.  "And besides that, the wolves don't pick a leader.  You're born to it."

"Oh, well that explains it." Kagura nodded as she shoved aside a large pile of dirt.  "Born to power, no need to develop any personality when everyone's forced to kiss your ass."

"You're one to talk about personality, ya fucking bitch." Kouga snarled and scooped a handful of dirt into her hair.  Kagura's eyes went wide in angry indignation.

"My hair…gods…what is _wrong_ with you!  Don't you know not to screw around with a woman's hair?" Kagura snapped at him.  "I mean, I feel that I've been pretty allowing so far.  I'm down on my knees, getting dirty, probably _ruining_ my kimono completely, and not to _mention_ how disgustingly dirty my hands are getting!  And did I complain about any of this?"

"Yeah.  Yeah you did." Kouga reminded her.  Kagura scowled slightly, still trying to get the dirt out of her hair without totally ruining the ponytail it was pulled back in.  "Now get back to work or I'll dump some dirt down the back of your precious fucking kimono."

"I hate you so much right now." Kagura grumbled as she went back to her work.  There was a long silence when the only sound was the shuffling motions of digging and the occasional collapse of a bit more of their barrier.  "So then," Kagura spoke again after a long while.  "What's it like, ruling over the wolves?"

"What do you care?" Kouga snorted, still in a high bad temper.

"I don't, I'm just trying to make conversation." Kagura told him primly.  "I thought it would make the work go faster."

"Like I wanna talk to you." He grumbled, not feeling as though he wanted to be lured into any conversation with someone who tried to insult him every time she spoke.

"I'm sorry I'm not the most _interesting_ person to talk to, but I'm not exactly used to small talk.  I live with an evil sicko who doesn't want to talk about anything that doesn't involve excessive violence and suffering, and a creepy little girl who doesn't want to talk about anything period." Kagura told him bitterly.  "It's not very conducive to social growth."

"You don't have to throw a fit." Kouga told her sullenly.  "Calm down and concentrate on digging."

"You're such an exciting person." She told him bitingly.  Again, the talking faded away and there was a tense silence between the two enemies as they continued on their mutual task.

"So…like, why'd you betray Naraku?" Kouga asked her after a while, his voice sounding more curious than anything else.  Kagura sighed as she dug at her side of the little tunnel they were making, and for a while Kouga thought that his attempt at conversation was not appreciated and not about to be responded to.

"I hate him." She spoke finally, her tone serious and sad.  Kouga paused to look at her.  He'd never heard her sound sincere before, but when she said that she hated Naraku, he knew that it wasn't a lie.

"But…he made you." Kouga pressed.  "How can you hate him?"

"Because of what he is.  Because I hate how he acts, the things he does are just…disgusting sometimes.  And he can't do anything for himself, he always sends out someone else.  Someone expendable." Kagura gritted the words out angrily.

"Someone like you?" Kouga asked, but it was more of a statement.

"At first…when he created me, I didn't really…know much about what was going on in the world, you know?  It was like…I could speak and think and all that, but I didn't really know more than most babies would." Kagura explained, busying herself with the dirt and rocks.  "And then after my first mission…I thought…well, the whole thing was clever, yes, but it seemed mean to me.  I mean, what could you have all done to deserve that?  And then…he almost got me killed as a test…he didn't even _care_!  And I was supposed to be on his side.  I didn't want to stay, so I told him that I wouldn't be used as some guinea pig, that I'd just let him do his _own_ fighting from now on.  But that's when I found out that he had my heart."

"Your heart?" Kouga asked, digging while still listening with interest.  He had no idea that Kagura had regrets about killing his wolves.  Of course, she could just be saying that to get out of him killing her, but all the same, it was interesting.

"Yeah.  He made me from himself, and he kept a link to me." She explained.  "I don't really understand it that well, but basically, he can kill me with no trouble.  Which makes me wonder why he wanted to go to all this trouble with the cave and everything…it's strange."

"He probably thought that even if I didn't kill you, he could kill you later.  He probably planned on finishing off whoever escaped.  And he gave you those fake shards so that if one of us was stupid enough to use them, we'd probably kill the other person and then die from the poison." Kouga told her.

"You know…I kind of thought you were stupid." Kagura told him after a few moments.  "I mean, before.  You have to admit, you aren't much of an intellectual in the middle of a battle."

"I'm not really a scholar or anything." Kouga shrugged, not really insulted by her comment.  "I just understand battles, fighting and all that.  And I know how to be a leader."

"Did your dad teach you all that?" Kagura asked.  Kouga gave her an odd look before she elaborated.  "I mean…because you said you were born to your position."

"My dad died before I was born." Kouga told her.  "I learned everything from my grandfather."

"What about your mom?" Kagura wanted to know.

"She died when I was really little in a fight with an enemy youkai tribe." Kouga told her, his voice very gruff.

"Do you remember her at all?" Kagura asked.

"So what if I do?  She's dead." Kouga's angry response let Kagura know that she had crossed the line between small talk and personal information.  Obviously, Kouga was rather touchy on the subject of his mother.

"I was just asking." She mumbled, going back to her work.  It seemed like they would never break through to the other side, but then, after what seemed like hours of digging, when the air was growing thin and stagnant, Kouga yelped in triumph as his claws went into the dirt and broke through to the air waiting on the other side.

"About fucking time." He growled, pulling away great handfuls of dirt as Kagura helped him widen the entry hole.  They could clearly hear the buzz of Naraku's bees on the other side, but when Kouga moved further into the tunnel to make it wide enough for escape, he cried out in surprise at what else was waiting on the other side of the rocks.  "Naraku!  You're here, you bastard!"

"Naraku's here?" Kagura felt a sinking in her stomach.  So she'd escaped just to have him kill her.  What was the point of that?

"It took a while.  I thought you had given up or perhaps suffocated." Naraku chuckled as Kouga backed up for Kagura to see him as well through the hole they'd made.

"Don't worry!  We'll be out to kick your ass in a few seconds!" Kouga growled, obviously very upset about being tricked and forced to dig his way back out of the trap without any use of his youkai strength.

"Oh, I don't think you should leave the cave, now that you've made friends.  I wouldn't want to spoil that by killing you both." Naraku taunted, and Kouga dove at the hole, breaking through and running forward only to hit an invisible wall that knocked him back to the ground, where he lay twitching in shocked weakness.  "I think I'll take those, now that you're laying there so nice and still." Naraku gestured, and two of his bees moved through the barrier as though it wasn't there, extracting the shards from Kouga's legs before he could recover from the paralyzing reaction from hitting the barrier.

"You…bastard." Kouga managed to get up after the bees had left, glaring angrily as Naraku tossed the shards up and down easily in one hand.  "What…kinda barrier is that?"

"Haven't you figured it out yet?" Naraku sounded disappointed.  "It was rather hard to come by, but I thought it would be worth it for such an amusing display.  That barrier is formed using some ancient holy relics from a very powerful priest.  It feeds on your youki, converting the energy that you naturally possess to keep you imprisoned, and while it won't kill you, it will render you as helpless as a human.  However, if you touch it, I've noticed that there's a strong reaction.  Enjoy yourselves!" Naraku leapt into the air, disappearing from view as Kouga called after him.

"Get back here!  Let us out, you coward!" Kouga was in a rage.  He couldn't believe he'd been so thoroughly tricked, and now his shards were gone.  The day was going from bad to worse.  After a while, he decided there was nothing to lose by trying to attack the barrier one more time, but of course, it landed him on his back, unable to move at all for almost a full minute.

"I wouldn't do that." Kagura was still inside the cave, widening the mouth further and trying to get it back to it's original size.  "You might as well get comfortable."

"What do you mean?  We have to get out!  We'll starve in here." Kouga told her, pointing out the blatantly obvious.

"We could always eat the bugs." Kagura teased him.  "But I wouldn't worry.  I think he'll send us food."

"Why would he do that?" Kouga was utterly bewildered.

"Because.  Naraku likes prisoners.  He wouldn't just let us die when he can watch us." She pointed at the three bees that were buzzing just outside of the barrier, taking in every move by the two youkai.

"What is _wrong_ with that guy?" Kouga finally sat down angrily, crossing his arms.  Kagura was still busy fixing the mouth of the cave.

"That's what I've been wondering for as long as I've known him." She answered.  "I don't think we'll ever know, but we'll have plenty of time to think about it here."

*****

The End (Of Part 1, That Is)


	2. Kin

Yaaaaaay for chapter 2!  I'd like to thank the people that have reviewed so far.  It makes me happy to write a story that doesn't focus on the main characters, but for anyone who is wondering, the tachi will definitely be in this fic.  Just…yeah, wait and see.  Stuff.

*****

Something Is Real

Part 2

*****

"He has to be close." Hakkaku told his friend as they jogged along the path that Kouga's smell emanated clearly from.  "He wouldn't just forget about us, right?"

"Course not." Ginta agreed, wiping his brow and glancing at the wolves that were running along with them.  "Companions are important to Kouga."

"Yeah, he wouldn't just abandon us." Hakkaku felt a tiny bit more confident now.  "He needs us."

"What does he need you for?" Ginta asked the other wolf youkai, reaching up to brush the black tuft of hair on his otherwise silver head back into place and out of his face.  "Whenever he's in trouble you just hide."

"So do you!" Hakkaku exclaimed, his mohawk of spiky silver hair seeming to bristle with indignation.  "When's the last time you got him out of a tight spot?"

"Hey, if Kouga can't kill something, there's no way that we can." Ginta answered after an angry pause.  "We know our limits, unlike him."

"He's always getting in trouble." Hakkaku agreed.

"He's too proud." Ginta added.  "Can't just let things be the way that they are."

"Like this Naraku guy.  He sounds pretty bad to me." Hakkaku cast a wide-eyed look to the trees around them as though expecting Naraku to leap from the bushes and gobble him up.  "Why can't we just let someone else take care of him?"

"Yeah, the way I figure it," Ginta panted, getting extremely tired after chasing Kouga's trail all night long, "if this guy keeps pissing people off, eventually some really big guys will come together and just get rid of him."

"Like Sesshoumaru." Hakkaku recalled the cold brother of Inuyasha and he glanced around nervously once more.  "He was scary."

"Yeah, someone like that, they aren't on Kouga's level." Ginta agreed.  "I don't think that guy goes around chasing after bad asses just to prove he isn't scared of someone stronger than him."

"I wonder why _he_ wants to get Naraku." Hakkaku pondered.

"Probably something to do with that little girl." Ginta decided after a moment of thought.  "When you have a companion like that who can't take care of themselves, you constantly have to save them from bad guys who want to kill them just to piss you off."

"You think Naraku tried to attack her?" Hakkaku asked, seemingly surprised that anyone would knowingly cross the frightening lord of the Western Lands.  "Does he _want_ to die?"

"Naraku's gotta be pretty strong if he's fucking around with Sesshoumaru like that." Ginta surmised.  "That's why I say we should just go home.  It's not like we'll make any difference in a fight like that anyway.  It wouldn't matter _whose_ side we were on, it wouldn't change the outcome at all."

"I think Kouga could do some damage." Hakkaku opined thoughtfully.  "I mean, he has those Shikon shards after all.  They make him even stronger than before."

"It's not like we can make him change his mind, anyway." Ginta shrugged.  "He's too stubborn.  And I don't think I'd like to face our companions when I die if I hadn't tried to avenge them.  Kouga's got a lot of honor, don't you think?"

"Now if he only had the power to back it up." Hakkaku snorted.  "I know he's way stronger than either of us, but do you think he could even beat Inuyasha?"

"I don't know.  They're pretty close, but with that sword Inuyasha has…" Ginta trailed off and stopped short.

"Hey, what's wrong Ginta?" Hakkaku slowed and turned to face his companion, who seemed to be staring at something off to his left with intense concentration.  "Do you see Kouga?"

"No…but I smell that girl."  Ginta spoke up after taking another deep whiff of air.  "You know the one…Ayame."

"That one that wants to be Kouga's woman?" Hakkaku smelled the air, searching for the scent trail that Ginta had picked up on.  "What do you think she's doing around here?"

"I don't know…maybe we should just go find Kouga and tell him.  Maybe she needs help or something." Ginta suggested.  "Right now what's important is catching up to Kouga before we lose his trail.  It'd be impossible to find him if that happened."

"Good thinking." Hakkaku made a determined face before the companions started jogging along the path once more in search of their leader.

----------

"Kouga!" Ginta sighed in relief as he put on a little bit of extra speed.  "You can feel it, right Hakkaku?  He's just up ahead!"

"It's about time." Hakkaku grumbled, panting from the exertion of constantly running.  "I thought he'd forgotten about us."

"He wouldn't do that!" Ginta exclaimed happily as he started to slow down, looking around the slowly brightening area to see if he could spot his leader.  "Hey, I bet he's sleeping in that cave up ahead waiting for us."

"Think he'll let us take a break?" Hakkaku asked hopefully.  Ginta shook his head ruefully, part in answer and part in response before he ran straight into what seemed like the hardest wall ever constructed.  The strange thing was that he couldn't _see_ a wall of any sort.

"Shit!  What was that!" Ginta groaned from where he was laid flat, still unable to move as Hakkaku skidded to a halt behind him.

"Ginta?  What's wrong?" Hakkaku asked, utterly dumbfounded as to why his friend had suddenly fallen back to the ground as if hit by some invisible force.  "Did you trip?"

"Ran…into something." Ginta was still having difficulty getting any movement out of his body.  He felt numb all over, as though he'd been struck by lightning.  "Hey…Hakkaku, is there…a wall or something?  I didn't see anything."

"Uh…no, it's all just air here." Hakkaku reached an arm forward, sweeping it around to demonstrate his point, but his palm struck something that flashed and threw him back slightly, leaving his entire arm numb to the shoulder.  "There's…something."

"A barrier?" Ginta guessed.  "Why is there a barrier?"

"Kouga's in trouble again?" Hakkaku ventured, and Ginta let out a deep sigh.  He was feeling a faint tingling throughout his limbs, which hopefully meant that he'd be able to move pretty soon.

"How are we supposed to get through it?" Ginta wanted to know.  "I can't even move anymore.  How's your arm?"

"Totally numb." Hakkaku bit his lip and glanced at the cave, leaning over to pick up a rock with his good arm.  He tossed it at the entrance, and while it sizzled slightly at the edge of the barrier, it passed through without any problem.  "What kind of barrier does that?  The rock went right through."

"I don't know, but I'm not using my body to test it again." Ginta grumbled.  "This is the worst.  It feels like I'm being stabbed with a million needles, and when I try to move it's even worse." The wolf youkai twitched an arm slightly before remaining motionless until the sharp sensation could fade away.  "We don't even know for sure that Kouga's still in that cave.  Maybe it's something else."

"Lemme check." Hakkaku stepped closer to the barrier, but was cautious enough to stop before he was near the area where he thought the barrier extended to.  "Hey!  Kouga!  Can you hear me!?" Hakkaku yelled at the top of his lungs, hoping that perhaps Kouga would emerge from the trees behind them instead of from the other side of the cave barrier.

"Get _up_!" The wolves heard a woman's voice yelling irritably from inside the cave, and they looked at each other in confusion before both followed their instincts and raised their noses to try and catch the smell of the other person in the cave so she could be identified.  "Seriously, someone's out there making a racket.  Make them go away, _I'm_ still sleeping."

"Someone's here?" Kouga's voice was immediately recognizable by his two companions, but it was a disappointment to hear it coming from inside the cave.  With some difficulty, Ginta sat up and began rubbing the feeling back into his arms and legs.

"Kouga!  It's us!" Hakkaku called out, waving his arms around as though Kouga could have possibly seen the movement through the rock cave wall that was blocking the wolves from seeing their leader.  "What's going on?  Why's there this barrier here?  Who's in there with you?"

"It's not Kagome-oneechan." Ginta noted, more to himself than to anyone else.  "Smells youkai…kinda familiar."

"See?  Get _out_ there." The woman was still nagging Kouga, who was now barely visible inside the cave, facing the woman as she scolded him.

"Just go back to sleep and shut up then." He told her, leaving the cave and looking surprised to see his followers gathered outside the barrier that locked him in.  "Ginta, Hakkaku, what's up?"

"We should ask _you_ that!" Ginta managed to get to his feet, but his legs still felt a bit odd.  "What's with this barrier?  What happened to you?  We were just following you around and suddenly you sped way the hell up.  We've been trying to catch up to you since then."

"And now we found you, but you're stuck in that barrier." Hakkaku sighed mournfully.  "You _are_ stuck, aren't you?"

"Of course." Kouga rolled his bright blue eyes as though the question was utterly ridiculous.  "Naraku trapped me here."

"Who's in there with you?" Ginta was still curious about the female voice from before.  "She smells kinda…"

"Never mind that, it doesn't matter." Kouga cut off the wolf and stood in a contemplative stance, one hand rubbing his chin thoughtfully.  "Is everyone all right?"

"Oh…yeah, we're all fine." Hakkaku gestured to the wolves who were sitting and standing behind Ginta and himself, looking longingly at the leader they couldn't get near.  "This barrier is pretty weird though.  Did you know when I throw a rock, it goes right through?"

"Yeah, it only affects youkai." Kouga waved his hand dismissively.  "Is there anything weird going on out there?  I thought something might be up if Naraku was making a move against me."

"Uh, we don't really know." Ginta admitted, scrubbing at his two-toned hair sheepishly.  "But we _did_ cross Ayame's path when we were chasing you."

"Ayame?  What's she doing here?" Kouga looked horrified, and it was unclear whether he was scared for the girl's safety or for his own sanity.  "Did you see her?"

"No, we thought we'd meet up with you before going to look for her…if you wanted to, of course." Ginta amended.  "You think she's looking for you?"

"Probably." Kouga muttered an unintelligible curse under his breath and scrubbed a hand through his dark bangs.  "Listen, I need to get _out_ of here.  We have to figure something out."

"Maybe…like a human could get through there, if it only affects youkai." Hakkaku spoke up after some thought on the part of all three wolves.  "We could go find Kagome-oneechan."

"Yeah…yeah, but it doesn't do us any good if _she_ can get in and out." Kouga pointed out.  "I'm still stuck in here."

"Yeah, that's true." Ginta agreed.  "Maybe we should go get her anyway.  I bet she could figure something out.  She's really clever, you know, Kouga."

"Of course she is." Kouga snorted derisively.  "Like I'd want some average woman with no brain."

"Isn't there some way to break a barrier like this?" Hakkaku asked.  "Kagome-oneechan's a miko, right?  Couldn't she fix it?"

"I don't know if she knows that kind of stuff." Kouga considered.  "Plus, this isn't a very…miko type barrier.  Since it gets it's power _from_ youkai."

"Maybe that priest she travels with would know something." Ginta suggested.

"Wait!  Doesn't Inuyasha's sword break barriers?" Hakkaku looked at both of the other youkai in excitement.  "I'm sure I've seen it before…it turns red and cuts right through the strongest barriers!"

"Hey!  That's right!  I remember that!" Ginta slapped his forehead, as though amazed that he hadn't thought of it before.  "Kouga, we'll go get Inuyasha and he can cut you out of here in no time!"

"No!" Kouga protested immediately.  "I don't need help from that Inukkoro.  There _has_ to be another way."

"Kouga…" Hakkaku and Ginta exchanged glances before the mohawked wolf turned back to speak to their leader.  "I know you're in charge and all, but don't you think that this time maybe you should listen to us?"

"No way." Kouga sat down cross legged and affected a stubborn pout.  "There is _no_ way I'm accepting help from that piece of shit."

"He's helped us _before_!" Ginta pointed out.  "Remember when Renkotsu was trying to kill you and he protected you?"

"I didn't need him then and I don't need him now." Kouga insisted.  "Figure out something else."

"Kouga…are you really saying that if we get Inuyasha and he cuts this barrier…you'll just stay in that cave cause you don't want his help?" Ginta furrowed his brows in irritation.

"Don't go behind my back on this." Kouga crossed his arms and looked away, maintaining the stubborn scowl on his face.

"Okay then…we'll just…come back when we think of something." Hakkaku and Ginta exchanged glances again.  "Wait here, okay?"

"Like I can go anywhere." Kouga answered irritably before getting up and returning to the cave's interior.  Hakkaku and Ginta walked back the way they had come until they were sure they were out of earshot.  Still, they spoke in hushed tones to be sure they wouldn't be overheard by their leader.

"Kouga's being really stubborn about this." Ginta told his companion.  "What should we do?  Inuyasha's probably the only one who can get him out."

"Yeah, unless we go to Naraku and he decides to just listen to us and let Kouga out." Hakkaku rolled his dark eyes.  "Like _that_ will happen."

"We have a better chance of getting Inuyasha to help." Ginta agreed.  "He has Kagome-oneechan with him, and she won't let him just ignore us."

"Yeah, she can get him to listen." Hakkaku nodded slightly.  "The only trouble is…if we _do_ get his help, will Kouga really just stay in that cave?"

"For a little bit…maybe.  But I think Kagome-oneechan can talk to him and then he'll be more reasonable." Ginta guessed.  "She's good at getting stubborn guys to pay attention."

"Yeah she is." Hakkaku agreed.  "No wonder Kouga thinks she's so good.  Hey…you think he still can win her away from Inuyasha?"

"I don't know…I think she really likes Inuyasha a lot." Ginta shrugged.  "But you know, they're so much the same that I don't see how she can pick between them."

"Hey…I wonder who that girl in Kouga's cave was." Hakkaku changed the subject.  "I know I've smelled her before somewhere."

"Yeah…it was real familiar…and she was definitely a youkai." Ginta rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  "I wonder if she pissed Naraku off too?"

"He's got a lot of enemies." Hakkaku surmised.  "It wouldn't be really surprising."  He frowned slightly as Ginta turned away and moved toward the edge of the path.  "What is it, Ginta?"

"Ayame…she's coming this way." Ginta told his friend.  "We should go catch her before she runs into that barrier and explain what's going on."

"Yeah, she'll probably want Kouga's help and that'll just get him more worked up." Hakkaku rolled his eyes.

"Maybe we can help her with whatever she's having trouble with." Ginta suggested as his friend followed him in the direction of the female wolf.  "I bet we could be useful.  I mean, we aren't as strong as Kouga, but we still are good fighters."

"Yeah, maybe." Hakkaku nodded slightly as he patted the head of a wolf looking up at him sadly.  "Don't worry, we'll get Kouga out."  Ginta sighed loudly and continued to lead the way deeper into the forest.  They _would_ get Kouga out, whether he liked it or not.

*****

The End (Of Part 2, That Is)


	3. Rainbow

Yay!  My roommate just got an entire a capella group coming to our room to serenade her into joining them!  I'm so proud of her.  She's been practicing so hard and everything, and she was thinking that she wouldn't make it in because there were thirty people that tried out, but she's the one that made it!  Yay for her!  It was sooooo cool!  Okay, now to calm down and write a chapter.  Ah…my hands are still shaking a little.  Whew, okay.

*****

Something Is Real

Part 3

*****

Ayame scrunched her nose up slightly, sniffing the air with a look of concentration in her normally wide green eyes.  Her orange-brown pigtails whipped out behind her as she ran, literally following her nose toward her goal.  _Kouga can't be far now…I know he'll help me out._  Three days ago, the vestiges of her ever-suffering northern wolf tribe had taken another bad hit when their temporary home was washed away in a storm.  Ayame had gathered the few tribesmen that were still fit to travel behind her before racing off in search of Kouga.  Granted, she didn't have a plan yet, but she was confident that Kouga would know what to do.

_If only grandfather was still here.  He always knew the answer when things got tough._  She resisted the urge to screw her face up in a petulant scowl, knowing that the expression would be wasted on the wolves running at her heels and just behind her.  They'd _already_ do anything they could to make her happy.  She was their leader, now that everyone else of high rank was gone.  Ayame thought it was vaguely unfair to be forced into the responsibility when she was still so young, but at the same time, she couldn't help but enjoy the independence inherent with her new position.  And yet, she'd gladly give it up if it meant she could hear the voices of all the kin that had died over the past year.

Ayame was so concentrated on following Kouga's scent and thinking of her past troubles and new responsibilities, she didn't see Kouga's men until she had tripped right over Hakkaku and flipped over herself, only being saved from a painful landing by the quick reflexes of Ginta, who caught her before she could fall.  She was so surprised and embarrassed that as she looked up into Ginta's widened eyes, all she could manage to say was, "Oops." Ginta seemed to think this was amusing, because he offered her a fanged grin as he maintained his hold on her.

"She…ran me over." Hakkaku's voice reminded the other wolf youkai of what he was after, and he set Ayame down lightly.

"You okay?" he asked the pretty young girl, moving to help up his friend.

"Eh…yeah, I'm okay.  Just embarrassed." Ayame tugged at one pigtail nervously.  "Sorry, Hakkaku.  I guess I wasn't really paying attention."

"Don't worry bout it." He waved her apology away before wiping the dirt out of his wolf fur.  "We were just coming to see you."

"Really?  I was going to see Kouga." She informed them of what they had likely already figured out.  "I could smell him nearby."

"Uh…yeah, he's nearby." Ginta spoke before exchanging worried looks with Hakkaku.  "There's…a little problem with that."

"A problem?  Is Kouga in trouble?" Ayame's emerald eyes went wide and her face paled in fear.  If something happened to Kouga, she didn't know _what_ she would do.  He was the only thing left for her to rely on.  He was the last hope of all her people, she was sure.  As long as Kouga was around, the wolf youkai could survive anything.

"Kinda." Hakkaku rubbed the back of his mohawk.  "See…there's this barrier that Naraku put him in, and now we can't get him out."

"It sucks up youki and uses that to stay strong.  There's no way we can get through it without killing ourselves." Ginta explained further as Ayame wrung her hands in ever increasing panic.  "But don't worry, cause we're pretty sure that Inuyasha can get him out.  His sword cuts barriers really well."

"So…are you going to get him now?" Ayame wanted to know, her expression tearful at the idea of Kouga suffering at all.  "Will Kouga be alright?"

"Uh…we're pretty sure he'll be fine till we get back, yeah." Hakkaku nodded.  "But if you needed him to go beat up some giant oni or something, he's not gonna be much help."

"That's not what this is about." Ayame now released her petulance to it's full potential, jutting out her lip and furrowing her brow as she straightened her back and crossed her arms.  "It's just…our home was destroyed and we have nowhere to go."

"So you wanted to come with Kouga?" Ginta shook his head.  "Listen, Ayame, this isn't a game or anything.  We're trying to avenge our kinsmen, and we might never go back home alive by the time everything's done with."

"They were _my_ kinsmen too." She insisted, directing her pout at Ginta now.  "And I say that if Kouga needs our help, I'm going to do whatever I can!"

"Then stay out of the way." Hakkaku told her.  "You're always getting in trouble."

"We can't always protect you, Ayame." Ginta shrugged apologetically.  "We've got our hands full trying to keep Kouga from getting himself killed every day."

"Who said I need protection?" she demanded.  "Well then, now that that's settled, I say we go find Inuyasha and Kagome so they can let Kouga out.  He has nothing to worry about now that I'm here!"

"She makes it sound like it was her plan…" Hakkaku addressed his friend in a whisper as they let her lead the way to where they could sense Inuyasha and Kagome, not terribly far away, but still a good distance from where they were.

"Just don't argue with her."  Ginta rolled his dark eyes slightly.  "Girls like that never listen."

----------

Ayame wondered what she had done to win herself two new dependent retainers, as that was what Ginta and Hakkaku seemed to be to her.  They obviously weren't very strong, or they wouldn't have let Naraku capture Kouga just like that.  Really, what kind of kinsmen could _be_ so irresponsible with their leader?  Just because Kouga was in charge, that didn't mean he didn't need protecting, and obviously they were unfit to provide him with that.  It was really very fortunate that she had happened upon them when they were so forlorn and helpless, organizing their efforts and coming up with a feasible plan of action.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't _all_ her idea.  But the fact remained that she was obviously the one in charge of this operation.  And so, it bothered her quite a bit that Ginta and Hakkaku had the audacity to run in _front_ of her, as though they were the ones leading _her_ around.  As if she couldn't find Inuyasha perfectly well on her own.  It was laughable, really.  She just…didn't think it was very funny.

"You two, get back behind me!" she commanded, using her most authoritative tone, which sounded more like a little girl's indignant whine than anything else.  "I'm in charge here."  Grumbling, Hakkaku fell back, but Ginta didn't even bother to acknowledge she'd said anything, much less given him a perfectly sensible order.  "Ginta, I'm serious."

"That's good." He told her, continuing to maintain his position in the lead.  "This isn't some game for little kids to play."

"I'm _not_ a kid." She insisted.

"I never said you were." Ginta shrugged, seemingly unaware of how angry she was becoming due to his nonchalant statements.

"I said get behind me." She insisted testily after a few moments.  "I'm in charge and you know it.  I rank higher than you."

"You're wolf-kin, same as me." He pointed out.  "And this wasn't your problem to begin with.  Just because you want to tag along, that doesn't make you the leader."

"My grandfather was the elder of all four wolf tribes!" Ayame couldn't believe this.  Why would he even _bother_ to challenge her rank?

"You have to earn leadership, even if you're born high." Ginta informed her.  "Do you think Kouga just orders us around without anything backing him up but the fact that his father was the old leader?"

"Are you saying I'm not _fit_ to lead?" Ayame was positively indignant.

"I'm saying that if it's so damn important to you that you lead, then lead." Ginta told her, sweeping his arm forward to indicate the space in front of him.  "But I'm not slowing down to coddle some spoiled brat."

"Spoiled…why you!" Ayame was absolutely furious, and she didn't realize she'd reached for her flower until she felt the petals in her fingers.  Breathing deeply, she calmed down enough to focus on putting Ginta in his place in a more appropriate way.  Concentrating her strength, she pressed forward, gaining on Ginta easily.  At least, it seemed easy to begin with, before he put on speed as well.  "Hey!"

"I told you." He turned to smile at her in an infuriatingly innocent fashion.  "I'm not slowing down for you."

"Fine!  I'll beat you anyway!" Ayame exclaimed angrily, pushing more energy into her speed, trying to remember all the training she had done in that area.  She _had_ to beat him, if only to prove she wasn't some spoiled brat.  And besides that, she was the leader by right.  This race shouldn't even be a prerequisite, and he'd only feel stupid once she ground him into the dirt.  She _knew_ she was gaining on him, but he was a lot faster than she expected and he kept spurting back ahead of her.  It was almost as if he was teasing her, but she could hardly believe something like that.  Sure, he ran around a lot following Kouga all over the place, but Ginta was nothing next to his leader.

Of course, Ayame knew that her own speed couldn't hope to match Kouga's either.  But that was beside the point.  What mattered here was that Ginta was in no way a match for her, and if he would just slow down for a second, she would prove it to him.  She was so close…if she just reached out, she could trip him up, and it would serve him right for challenging her authority in the first place.  Smirking slightly at the thought of her impending victory, she reached forward and grabbed the wolf's arm, holding it tight and yanking backwards and down.

Several things happened all at once.

"What the hell?" Ginta felt her hand a second too late to do anything about it, but at the moment she pulled on his arm, Ginta reached over and grabbed the offending hand to swing it's owner to the ground for even trying such a dirty trick in the first place.  This caused a tumbling mess of youkai as Ginta was too distracted to notice the tree roots in front of him, falling flat on his face and releasing Ayame's hand at the same time, effectively throwing the shocked girl up and into a mass of foliage just overhead.  Hakkaku's eyes followed the flying wolf princess with terrified eyes, as though he couldn't quite process what had occurred to launch the girl so cleanly through the air.  Of course, this only led to more trouble as he tripped right over the gradually recovering Ginta, who had _attempted_ to recover from his fall immediately, but instead had managed to rise just in time for his companion to run smack into him, sending them both to the ground once more in a grumbling and cursing heap.  Ayame found her voice about halfway through her unexpected launch, and though instincts told her she would be able to land safely, she shrieked in surprised indignation anyway as branches whipped against her face and she began to come down.

Unfortunately, her landing was blocked by a group of people walking down a narrow forest path.  "Get out of the way!" she cried in shock, knowing she didn't have enough time to correct her descent and avoid smashing into the black-haired girl in strange clothes.  Luckily, her companion snatched her out of the way just in time, but that didn't save Ayame from the pain of landing smack into a hastily abandoned bicycle.  "Owww…" she grumbled as she noted that she was aching in several spots due to the mishap, and she immediately determined to make Ginta pay for every bruise, even if it would heal in next to no time thanks to her youki.

"Ayame-chan?" it was only when the familiar girl bent over her did Ayame stand, still feeling more than slightly angry, her face flushing red as she faced Kagome.  How embarrassing.  Her main love rival had just seen her fall out of the sky like a helpless child.  Surely Kagome would tell Kouga all about it and have a good laugh at her expense.  Life was so cruel.

"I'll _kill_ him." Was all she managed to say before disentangling herself with the mass of metal and storming back into the shrubbery with five pairs of confused eyes still on her.  "Ginta?  What are you doing?" she placed her hands on her hips, managing to look suitably threatening as she did her best to growl at the two youkai who were just getting off the forest floor.

"Getting up." He told her as carelessly as if he hadn't just sent her flying through the treetops and had absolutely _no_ idea why she seemed to be so very angry.

"Um…Ayame-chan?  Are you alright?" Kagome could not be deterred from her concern for Ayame's well-being, and as such she had followed the girl back into the forest, even though Inuyasha was right behind her, glaring at all three wolf youkai and all their canine companions.  Apparently, he took it as a personal insult that Kagome had been dive-bombed by Ayame, unintentionally or not.

"Kagome-oneesan!  We were looking for you!" Hakkaku brushed his fur off hurriedly before shoving past Ayame along with Ginta, both of the young men standing and looking at her so excitedly that Ayame was surprised their tails didn't start wagging.

"Kouga's captured!" Ginta seemed completely different than he had a few moments ago, as though he'd suddenly forgotten all about his carefully maintained dignity.  Ayame was really starting to get irritated with the effect Kagome seemed to have on men.  It's not like she was _that_ pretty.

"Kouga?" Kagome's blue grey eyes widened in worry, and she darted a glance at Inuyasha as though she thought he'd be concerned as well.  Inuyasha merely snorted in ridicule as though he thought it was funny but he was _still_ ready to kill Ayame for almost plowing over Kagome.

"Yes, there's a barrier, apparently."  Ayame decided that everything would get done more quickly if she interfered, but she was shut up almost immediately by a sharp look from Ginta.

"Don't listen to _her_, she's just following us around." Ginta told Kagome.  "She didn't even see it."

"That's right!  But yeah, Kouga said it was Naraku." Hakkaku continued his explanation.  "And that the barrier absorbs youki so he can't get through.  We thought you could help."  At this point, both wolves gave Inuyasha a meaningful look, but it wasn't necessary.  Kagome had already guessed at what they wanted and had whirled to face Inuyasha down.

"Inuyasha!  We should go save him." Kagome told him as their other companions made their way through the brush to see what was going on.

"Whatever, like I want to rescue that wimpy wolf.  It's his own fault for getting tricked." Inuyasha said, but he wasn't very convincing.  He looked as though he was trying to figure out a puzzle in his mind.  "Naraku did it, huh?"

"What has happened?" Miroku spoke, stepping up beside Inuyasha with Sango, Kirara, and Shippo beside him.  "Naraku has been spotted?"

"He trapped Kouga in a cave!" Hakkaku insisted impatiently.  "With a girl."

"A girl?" Ayame looked as though she'd just blown a fuse somewhere.  "In a cave?  With Kouga?  _Alone?_"  She grabbed Hakkaku by the shoulders and squeezed as though she intended to shake the details out of him.

"I—we—that is…we didn't really see her." Hakkaku told her, looking slightly frightened.  He hadn't realized that even with how juvenile and clumsy she seemed at times, Ayame really did have a considerable amount of youki backing the furious fire in her emerald eyes.  She was probably about as strong as Ginta or him, or even stronger if she could get it under control and use it effectively.  "I just smelled her.  It was a girl for sure though.  A youkai."

"Probably someone else Naraku's enemies with." Sango tapped her lips thoughtfully with one finger.  "Could it have been Kikyo?"

"Kikyo?  Trapped with _Kouga_?" Inuyasha didn't look as though he could care less anymore.

"No, calm down, Inuyasha." Kagome held up her hands and turned to the hanyou in a soothing gesture.  "Hakkaku said it was a youkai, and that couldn't be Kikyo."

"But she _does_ always have the soul stealers with her." Sango considered.  "Maybe they sensed that."

"No, we smelled it.  There was just a youkai girl, nothing else." Ginta told her.  "Well, except Kouga.  And that barrier."

"Barrier?" Miroku sounded intrigued.  "Naraku created it?"

"Yeah, it absorbs youki." Kagome nodded, "That's what they say, at least."

"Hmm, that is troublesome indeed." Miroku rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  "As I do not think Inuyasha will be of any help in this case."

"What?  I could cut through one of Naraku's barriers with no problem!" Inuyasha's hand was on his sword, as if ready to demonstrate his skill with the magical katana.

"Tetsusaiga relies on it's demon strength to cut through barriers as well as to use the wound of the wind." Miroku reminded him.  "If this barrier truly absorbs youki, then it will be impenetrable to your sword."

"That could be…" Kagome appeared troubled.  "But shouldn't we still be able to help?  We can't just leave Kouga there.  And anyway, if Naraku trapped him there _has_ to be some sort of clues about where he is now."  Kagome was adamant, and Inuyasha still seemed worried at the vague possibility of Kikyo being trapped with Kouga, no matter what the other wolves said about the girl in the cave.  Really, what female youkai did Naraku have a grudge against?  Surely they would have met her by that time if there were any.

"Let's get this over with." Inuyasha made a great show of looking annoyed, but he was obviously eager to get moving, as evinced by the fact that he crouched down low to signal for Kagome to get on his back.  If Naraku was anywhere nearby, he didn't want to let the bastard escape.

*****

The End (Of Part 3, That Is)


	4. Mirror

Will the tachi be able to come to Kouga's rescue?  How will they feel when they learn that they're _also_ rescuing Kagura?  Will Inuyasha find a way to use his sword on the barrier without losing it's all-important youki?  Or will it be up to the rest of the tachi to puzzle it out?  Will Ayame smack Ginta down for being mean to her?  Wasn't she kinda asking for his attitude?  Will Kouga and Kagura learn to get along in the Naraku Doom Cave, as I have come to call it, or will they just kill each other, fulfilling Naraku's dearest hopes?  And will Kagura ever get her oft-coveted red nail polish?  Maybe one of the pretty youkai men can hook her up.  Makeup like that may be artificial, but…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 4

*****

"So I guess he's just gonna starve us, huh?" Kouga was making a game out of tossing rocks at the barrier after rubbing them between his hands.  It was interesting to watch the lights that sparked when the small amount of youki on the rock hit the barrier, and it was certainly more interesting than cleaning fingernails, which was what certain _other_ cave occupants had been doing for the past hour.

"Who knows.  Maybe he wants to see if we'll eat each other if we get hungry enough." Kagura mused, but Kouga gave her a light glare.

"If it came to that, I'd eat you before you could get me." He told her certainly.  "We can barely use our youki, so you wouldn't even be able to do anything but physical attacks, so I'd win."

"Oh really?" Kagura looked up from her nails, reaching for her fan to idly play with the folded device.  "But you're forgetting that if I really thought you were hungry enough to eat me, I could just wait until you weren't looking and smash a rock over your head.  Then you wouldn't get a chance to fight back."

"Like a rock to the head could kill _me_."  Kouga sounded thoroughly insulted.  "There's no way, I'm telling ya right now.  Wouldn't even _phase_ me."

"Oh…I suppose I forgot to take into account that you're exceptionally _stupid_, so you wouldn't really be injured through a skull so thick." Kagura mused.

"Would you shut up?" Kouga grumbled, obviously not pleased with the thread of conversation they were continuing on.  "We need to think here.  Hakkaku and Ginta said they'd get some help, but we can't just expect that to work."

"Well, if someone would _feed_ us, it wouldn't be such an issue." Kagura rolled her eyes.  "I'd love some fresh hot dumplings right now, and maybe a nice pot of tea."

"That's helping." Kouga gave her a dry look.  "Let's talk about all the things we _can't_ have…hey, isn't that stuff all…human food?"

"Well…yes." Kagura twiddled with her fan for a bit before giving Kouga a conspiratorial grin.  "See, the thing is…I'm not sure what it is, but the rumor _says_ that he was once a human, so now Naraku just eats…human food.  I don't think he likes youkai food very much.  Young girls and all that, it somehow doesn't strike his fancy.  And so Kanna's got kitchen duty."

"Kanna?" Kouga thought for a few moments.  "That…other one?  The creepy one all in white?"

"Okay, admittedly she's not the master of charisma, but Kanna's not too bad." Kagura defended lightly.  "A lot better than Naraku.  And anyway, she's like…my sister.  Sort of.  And she _does_ make really good tea."

"Why don't you have 'kitchen duty?'" Kouga wanted to know.

"I didn't want to.  So when Naraku sent me to learn how, I basically destroyed the kitchen while making it look like I simply had no clue what was going on and then acting very sad about the whole thing.  He kicked me out, and since then Kanna's head cook." Kagura explained.  "It's kinda fun to watch her cook.  She sets her mirror down for once, so that's nice.  It makes her easier to talk to without feeling like she's just recording the conversation to show to Naraku later."

"You guys don't get along?" Kouga asked.

"Well…she seems to like Naraku pretty well, though I don't know why.  Actually, I think it's just that she's really afraid of him or something.  Who knows." Kagura speculated.  "But if one of us had a really good chance to escape, it would be her.  She doesn't have any aura, you know.  Practically impossible to track her."

"Does she…not have a soul?" Kouga seemed confused.

"I didn't use to think so…after I was first born, you know.  But once you get to know her…" Kagura seemed to be searching for the right words.  "It's like she's just really shy, you know?"

"A shy youkai?" Kouga raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"It happens, I'm sure.  And anyway, Kagura's not like most youkai." Kagura cut her explanation off as she heard nearby movement and stood to see if someone was coming.

"Who is it?" Kouga asked.  "I can't smell anything but…"

"Food!" Kagura actually squealed in pleasure, causing Kouga to nearly keel over in shock at the display.  "Kanna, did Naraku send you to feed us?" Kagura waved to her sister, who was slowly making her way up the path.  The little girl blinked at the other youkai before shaking her head slightly.  "He didn't?" Kagura lost her look of pleasure and began pouting slightly.  "Then that's not for us?" she indicated the steaming bundled that Kanna seemed to be carrying on her mirror.  As an answer, the diminutive youkai stepped straight through the barrier as if it didn't exist and lifted her arms to offer the food to her younger sister.

"Hey…is it really food?" Kouga stepped up to Kagura's side, sniffing cautiously.  "Maybe he's trying to poison us."

"I would have thought he'd much prefer to watch us eat each other." Kagura opined, taking the bundle and handing it to the confused wolf prince before lowering herself to her already dirty knees so that she could talk to her sister.  "Kanna, why are you here?"

"You were hungry." Kanna had her mirror back in front of her chest, as usual.  "I could see."

"So you brought food?" Kagura asked, and the little girl nodded.  "But…if Naraku finds out…"

"I will be in trouble." Kanna finished in her soft, breathy voice.  "I know."

"Then…why?" Kagura was flabbergasted.  Kanna had _never_ gone against Naraku before.

"You are my sister.  I do not want you to die." Kanna explained after blinking as though she did not understand the question.

"Sister…yes, that's right." Kagura bit her lip, feeling a bit foolish that the sentiment was making her feel like hugging the little girl right in front of Kouga.  Of course, that would be a foolish thing to do, and it would likely feel strange.  Kagura had never hugged a person before, so she couldn't be sure if she'd do it right.  Instead, she settled for reaching over and taking one of the girl's hands in hers, squeezing it tight and bowing her head slightly.  "Thanks, Kanna."

"I will go." Kanna indicated the path after Kagura had released her hand, and even though she couldn't be sure, she thought that her sister looked almost pleased with herself.  She turned to leave, pausing once after she stepped through the barrier and looking back at Kagura and Kouga.  "Good…luck."  It seemed as though she wasn't quite sure of the words, as if she couldn't be sure they communicated her meaning, but the brilliant smile on Kagura's face seemed to satisfy her, and she left.  Kouga was still blinking down at the bundle when Kagura turned to him, still beaming, and exhaling happily.

"You look…normal." He commented.  "When you smile like that.  Just like a normal person, you know."

"What do I usually look like?" Kagura wanted to know.

"Like you hate the world." Kouga decided.  "So…that was your sister."

"I told you she was a good girl, when it came down to it." Kagura smiled smugly and took the bundle from Kouga.  "Come on, now you'll see what I'm talking about.  She's a very good cook, I'll tell you right now."  The wind youkai took the bundle into the cave and set it on a relatively flat patch, untying the cloth that held together the little dishes inside.

"What did she bring?" Kouga wanted to know, and he sat down across from Kagura eagerly.  The smell of the food caused his stomach to growl loudly, and she laughed lightly as she opened the little pots, indicating the contents of each.

"Look!  Tea, and here, she brought dumplings!  She _knows_ they're my favorite…I had no idea she paid that much attention.  And two bowls of rice…even a little of her special chicken." Kagura immediately helped herself to one of the dumplings while Kouga looked at the food doubtfully.  Finally, he settled on a dumpling, which he crammed into his mouth whole.

"Shit!" he hissed as he spit the dumpling back into his hands, his tongue wagging pitifully as he tried to banish the burning sensation.  "It fucking burned me!"

"You take _bites_, idiot." Kagura told him.  "And then it doesn't happen that way.  Honestly, haven't you ever learned how to eat like humans do?"

"Uh…well, I can get food in my mouth." Kouga scratched his head with one hand as he waited for his half-chewed dumpling to cool.  "Isn't that all you need?"

"Ridiculous. Okay, just eat the dumpling and I'll show you how to use chopsticks on the rice and chicken." Kagura offered, blowing on her own dumpling before taking a dainty bite while making sure she was sitting up straight, as though to show how much better her table manners were.

"Chopsticks?" Kouga took a large bite out of the dumpling, and when it burned, he swallowed it quickly to avoid being teased further.

"Yeah, these." Kagura lifted one of the two pairs easily, clicking them together to indicate how they worked.  "They're like long fingers to pick up hot food without getting burned.  And that way you don't get food on your hands."

"But the dumpling's on your hand." Kouga pointed to the remains of her dumpling, which she had just taken another bite from.

"That's because you're _supposed_ to eat dumplings like this, idiot.  Gods, you're stupid." Kagura rolled her eyes as though it was all too much for her to handle.  "But I suppose…you were raised by wolves, so that's what happens."

"Don't get all high and mighty on me!" Kouga had to swallow quickly to yell at her, and he almost choked.  "You keep saying I'm so stupid, well you're the one who sat in this trap without even suspecting anything and got us _both_ captured!"

"Like _you_ knew it was a trap." Kagura rolled her eyes.  "You just barreled right in her without a care in the world."

"I thought it might be." Kouga shot back.  "That's why I left Ginta and Hakkaku.  They'd be no good to me if _they_ got trapped too.  Now they might get us out.  So who's the stupid one?"

"Well _my_ sister's feeding us." Kagura came back after a moment.  "So it's even.  Now come on, I'll show you how to use chopsticks."

"Can't I just use my hands?" Kouga asked, sounding hesitant about picking up the eating implements.

"No."

----------

Kouga had only just fallen asleep after a long and arduous lesson in the proper use of chopsticks, which had ended with him snapping his pair in half and cursing angrily while trying to storm out of the cave and actually running straight into the barrier.  Kagura had been kind enough to drag him back into the cave and clean up, not once teasing him about his table etiquette failings as she gathered up the used dishes and poured them both some of the still warm tea.  Kouga had seemed to think the tea was a lot better than the chopsticks, but he had still complained that it tasted like it was made of boiled tree bark and mud water.  Kagura had suggested that he might need a little sugar, and he'd given her a mystified look that clearly told her he'd never heard of such a thing.  She determined at that moment to get her hands on some honey or at least some sweet flower nectar so that he could taste it.  She wondered what he would think of it, but at the same time, she wondered when she'd ever get a chance to wander out of the cave again.

_Maybe I could get Kanna to bring me some._ Kagura mused as she stepped out of the now quiet cave to try and get a glimpse at the night sky through the canopy of trees that blocked her view.  After the tea, Kouga had gone to sleep almost immediately, likely exhausted from the effort of eating, but Kagura was still surprised that he had simply dropped off like that.  For the past few days, she _always_ fell asleep before him, even if she attempted to stay up.  He just didn't trust her, and she couldn't really blame him.  _But now he's sleeping like a baby.  Almost like he trusts me…_Kagura shook her head at that.  Probably he was exhausted and didn't really thing she could kill him.  He was probably ready to wake up at the slightest noise, but it was nice to think that maybe they weren't about to kill each other.  It made the cave seem a lot less foreboding, that was for sure.  She didn't like being on edge all the time, and knowing how Kouga felt about her for her past transgressions made it clear that she couldn't really trust him.  But at the same time, he had told her that while they were stuck there, he wouldn't hurt her.  He had promised, and she believed him.

_But why should I believe him?  He has no reason to tell me the truth.  We've always been enemies._  Kagura considered.  _And yet…I think he was sincere.  He wouldn't lie, not even to me.  He cares too deeply for his honor._  _It's funny…he's a lot better person than I am, isn't he?  He doesn't compromise, no matter what.  My whole_ life _is a compromise._

Sighing, Kagura bent down to retrieve a pebble from the ground, rubbing it in her palms and throwing it at the barrier.  She watched the sparks of her youki dance over the barrier before becoming absorbed, and the after-image of the bright light burned into her eyes.  _Is it that much different from his?  We're both youkai, but my strength comes from compromise.  His comes from the power of his will.  Now that he doesn't have his shards…I know I would be stronger than him in a fight…but could I ever be as strong as him in my heart?_

_You are my sister._

Dark eyes, a sad, pale face that looks too young for the knowledge hidden in those onyx depths.  And a voice like a whisper, afraid of being heard.

_I do not want you to die._

Kagura gasped as she felt wetness on her cheek and reached up to touch it.  She blinked at the glittering damp spot on her finger and looked into the sky as though awaiting the rest of the rain.  But none came.  "What…is this?" she reached up to her face and found more of the wet substance, touching it to her lips lightly to taste what it might be.  "Salty…this is…tears?"  Kagura had heard of such a thing, but she hadn't ever cried herself.  She remembered seeing others cry, moments from death, suffering, worried for their loved ones, begging for mercy.  Her heart…it felt so heavy.  "What is this thing I'm feeling?"

_Regret._

_I'm sorry._

The words sprung to her mind immediately, and she turned to look into the cave, where she could still see the dim lump of Kouga's form, sleeping on regardless of her epiphany.

_I'm…sorry._

*****

The End (Of Part 4, That Is)


	5. Disease

I think I should warn everyone before it gets really bad that this story is something like a roller coaster.  You start off slow, moving up a little bit at a time until everything seems to pause and then the plot and everything tumbles down, building speed until it reaches the end with a bunch of breathless, surprised readers still not sure what happened and how the plot went from slow to fast in the space of a moment.  So yeah, be forewarned.  And I know a lot of you think this is all about Kouga and Kagura…well, that's a big part of things, but it's really about everyone.  And yes, the tachi will be playing a much bigger part then they have so far.  Part of the reason they didn't get much play in those first few chapters was because _some_ authors are very bitter about mush-fans assuming the wrong thing about former stories and harassing her for the rest of the story when things didn't go as they expected.  So yeah, I was kinda trying to scare off the hardcore canon waffiness fans because they irritate me with their militant demands.  But I like _you_ guys, so lets all continue.

*****

Something Is Real

Part 5

*****

"You called me." It was a statement more than a question, and the voice that issued it was cold and soft, like the faintest winter breeze issuing over an empty expanse where it was inaudible to anyone other than the man it was meant for.  Not that there was anyone else around to hear.  No one was ever around to hear, it seemed.  Not since Kagura was put in her cave with Kouga.

"I did, Kanna." The man's wicked red eyes darted to her to judge from her expression whether she suspected what was coming or not.  Of course, there was nothing there, as usual.  Not once had Naraku found a way to evoke an emotional reaction from his first and most silent detachment.  She was cold and utterly imperturbable, even to him.  It was as though he had over compensated for that when he created her younger sister, whose foolish emotions and whims had been her ultimate downfall.  At least, that was the way Naraku had seen it at first.  Now he was unsure.  "Are you happy here?"

He was rewarded with a slow blink before the childlike demon replied easily as though he had asked what was for dinner.  "I am here."

"That is not an answer, Kanna." Naraku did not begin to understand the inner workings of the embodiment of nihility that stood before him, holding her mirror carefully as ever, eyes half-closed as though she was somehow unable to find interest in anything that the world presented her with.  "I asked if you feel happy here."

"I do not feel, Naraku." She answered him in a voice that was just as soft and chilly as before.  Her tone was so changeless; Naraku was momentarily confused into thinking that she had no soul, no feelings, no anything.  He knew that wasn't true, whether she had an aura or not.  In a previous moment of careless anger, he had struck her unmoving face in an attempt to create some sort of reaction, but even though the chinks had refused to pink, she was definitely solid enough.  She couldn't move on her own, think on her own, betray him on her own, unless she had a soul of her own.  It was just different from what he was used to encountering.  "You made me without feelings, as you well know."

"I did make you." Naraku verified.  "But I made Kagura, and that did not stop her from exceeding her original purposes and creating her own sense of loyalty."  He let the airs hang in the air, hoping to spot some sort of fear or _anything_ on Kanna's face, but the youkai merely blinked at him as though she were very bored with his meandering questions and only standing there because she had nowhere else to be.  "She was your sister."

"She still is." Kanna answered without thinking, and Naraku thought he spotted the briefest flash of defiance in her voice.  Interesting.

"Yes, she is, I suppose." Naraku spoke lazily, as though they were talking about the weather.  "You have been feeding her and the wolf, have you not?"

"I was not forbidden to do such a thing." Kanna answered again, and Naraku had to laugh aloud.  Yes, very interesting indeed.

"I did not think I would have to forbid it." He told her.  "You are supposed to be without your own feelings or objectives, Kanna.  Why would you feed a youkai who had betrayed you?  She was meant to die."

"She never betrayed me." Kanna spoke so easily, it was as though she didn't sense the danger of the situation, but Naraku refused to believe she could be so dull-witted as to think he wouldn't punish her.

"She betrayed me, Kanna, and as far as you are concerned, it is the same thing." Naraku informed her.  "You are a part of me, if you had forgotten."

"I could not forget." Kanna told him shortly.

"Then why would you do that?" he wanted to know.  She was trying his patience, and yet it was all very intriguing to see her so close to actual emotional expression.

"She is my sister." Kanna answered simply, as though this explained everything.

"That does not matter." Naraku told her.  "You are a piece of me."

"I am just as much Kagura as I am you." Kanna informed him calmly.  "I see no reason that you deserve more or less loyalty than her."

"I made you." Naraku told her, anger thinly veiled in his hard tone.

"I know." Kanna blinked at him.  "But she is still my sister.  Her betrayal to you means nothing to me.  What is important is that she is my sister."

"I misjudged you, Kanna." Naraku told her, his voice grating.  "I regret my error, but I do not wish to kill you.  How can I be sure to trust you?"

"Since when have I earned your trust?" Kanna asked him.  "I am a tool to you, nothing more."

"And now you will have to learn to be something more, Kanna." He told her, standing up and moving forward until she had to tilt her head back to look up at him.  "I must have you under my control.  This will never do."  He shrugged out of his yukata with an evil grin on his lips.  Kanna had no idea what was going on, and as such, she had no way of resisting him.  She had never been one to openly resist, and he had been correct in assuming that this situation would be no different.

Later, when he was finished with her, he sent her away and was most gratified to see her limping as blood trickled down the pale skin of her leg, staining her white kimono a crimson color that was all the brighter next to the pallor of the girl wearing the white silk.  It was nice to know that he had some sort of impact on her, even if she had yet to get the point.  He had time, though.  All the time in the world to train the little girl to obey him.

----------

"What are you doing over there?" Kouga stretched as he exited the cave the next morning, feeling refreshed and well fed for the first time in what seemed like forever.  It wasn't that long since he'd been trapped with Kagura, but even before then, his little group of wolves hadn't exactly been living lavishly.  He would hate to admit that Kanna's offerings had been so well received on his part, but he really had been hungry, and even the tea had tasted a lot better than he'd admitted.  Not that he'd tell that to Miss Perfect Table Manners, but he had mostly complained at the taste because he noticed how much she liked it and was still very bitter about his chopstick failings.

"Wondering if she'll be back today." Kagura was fiddling with a pebble in one hand while sitting on an acceptably comfortable rock as near to the barrier as she could get without feeling crowded in by the threat of touching it by accident.  She didn't bother to say who she meant.

"Never knew family was so important to someone like you." Kouga snorted, sitting on some rocks near her companionably.

"What else do I have to care about?" Kagura wanted to know, and he missed the bitter sadness in her tone.

"Your fingernails?  Who knows," Kouga shrugged and picked up a pebble of his own, rubbing it between his fingers before tossing it at the barrier and watching the patterns of light his youki made.

"Who cares?" Kagura sighed, leaning back slightly and trying to figure out what time it was by judging how high the sun was in the sky through the trees blocking her vision.  "Not you, I'm sure.  Anyway, are those friends of yours coming back?"

"Ginta and Hakkaku?" Kouga asked, tossing another charged pebble.  "As soon as they figure something out, they'll be back.  Don't worry."

"Are they all that's left?" Kagura asked, looking at her pebble intently.  "Those two and the dogs?"

"They're wolves." Kouga corrected her in a haughty tone.  "It's completely different."

"I'm sorry." She told him, and Kouga jerked in surprise, causing his pebble to arc off the intended course and veering off to the side before it hit the barrier in a burst of light.  There was a long silence as Kouga tried to think about what she was saying before deciding to go with the simplest solution and shrugging slightly.

"Just don't call us dogs, that's all." He told her, and she tossed her own pebble sharply.  The burst of pink light caught his notice and he found himself facing her.

"That's not what I meant." She told him, her face determined as she stood up, brushing herself off.  "I just wanted you to know."

"Know what?" he asked, his eyes going wide as he took in the strength in her gaze.  Her eyes had never looked so powerful before, and it was striking to realize that _this_ was sincerity.  From Kagura, of all people.

"It wasn't against you." She told him, a bit uncomfortable with the explanation.  "I didn't know any better then.  I had only just been born, and I didn't know that you can't always trust someone just because they made you.  I shouldn't have done it."

A vision flashed in Kouga's head.  A nightmare that he'd seen many times before, while dreaming or awake.  It was the sight of a battlefield covered with the blood of his kinsmen.  His tribe, destroyed easily by the wicked sweep of Kagura's fan.  It was this scene that reminded him of his purpose every day.  He _had_ to avenge them, his fallen kin who had fought so bravely without him there to protect them.  He _should_ have been there, but at least he could do them this small favor, taking back life for the life that had been so carelessly crushed by his enemies.  By Kagura.  His eyes hardened, and he stood as well.

"We're not talking about that." He told her, his voice final and wavering slightly with anger.  He sounded like he wanted nothing more than to kill her right then, to rip her into pieces and make her feel the pain of his tribe a thousand times over.  And he wouldn't be satisfied even then.  Likely he'd carry this pain with him for the rest of his life, and it stung Kagura deep to know that she had done it so thoughtlessly.

"Please.  You don't have to forgive me, I just wanted you to know that I know it was wrong." She told him, unable to meet his eyes anymore.  They were so angry, like twin fires of vengeance burning a bright, unbelievable shade of blue.  "And I am sorry.  I wish I could undo it."

"You can't." his voice bit, and Kagura's hands clenched her fan defensively.  Was he going to kill her?  He sounded like he might.

"I know." She answered him lamely.  What else could she say?  She went back into the cave for no reason other than her sudden need to not feel those angry eyes burning into her.  What was the point of feeling sorry if it didn't change anything?  She felt so stupid.  She should have never brought it up, then he wouldn't be so angry with her.  He was someone she had learned to admire, in a way, and she didn't want him to be her enemy.  It seemed like such a waste.  She suddenly hoped that no one would come to save them.  If she just died in that cave, then she wouldn't have to worry about the rest of the world and all the problems she faced out there.

_The world is so full of pain._  She thought to herself as she toyed with the clean dishes from the night before, thinking of her sister, of Kouga, and even of Naraku.  _What's the point of being here when nothing's true?  Nobody will trust anyone else because this world's just some illusion.  Everyone thinks that they can make it better, but how?  By helping themselves, by following a path others give them, by deciding what they think is best and leading others toward it?  It doesn't matter, because there will always be people who disagree and then they can't achieve anything.  Nothing can happen because it's all a lie.  I wish I could find something to believe in._

Dark eyes, white hair, sadness.

_Family?  If that's worth anything, then Naraku wouldn't throw us aside so carelessly.  It's not really a good thing, is it?  If family weren't a weakness, Naraku wouldn't use it against the youkai taijiya.  Every time she sees Kohaku she loses herself._  Kagura realized.  _And if Naraku catches Kanna helping me, she'll suffer too.  This is what family is.  Just another way to be hurt._

Flash of angry blue, sharp fangs and clenched fists.

_I can't blame him for hating me, then.  I killed so many of his own family, and even if I'm sorry it doesn't matter.  They're still just as dead as they were before I thought it might be wrong to use people like that._  Kagura sighed deeply.  _Naraku was the only one I had to teach me anything, and he doesn't see anything wrong with pain and suffering.  He could care less what happened to the wolf tribe, but Kouga wants me dead just as much as Naraku.  It must have hurt so much to lose so many for no reason like that._

"Hey," Kouga's voice woke her from her state of reflection, and when she looked to the mouth of the cave, she saw that it was twilight.  How had so much time passed without her realizing?  His eyes weren't as angry as she remembered, so at least there was that.

_Maybe the anger isn't real, either.  Nothing here is._

"I don't think she's coming." There was an odd tone to his voice, and Kagura narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion.  Was he up to something?  Kouga didn't seem like one for subterfuge, but nothing else made sense.  He couldn't possibly be feeling sorry for her, and that was how it looked.

"What, did she send a letter?" Kagura didn't mean to sound so irritable, but she couldn't help it.

"It's getting late, that's all." He told the wind youkai as he sat down across the cave from her.  "Maybe she just forgot about it."

"Kanna wouldn't forget something so easily." Kagura was now beginning to wonder at the reason for the youkai girl's lateness as well.  She had assumed Kanna would come at the same time the next day and the day after, she was so systematic about everything.  But she wasn't there.  What could it mean?

"Whatever it is, Ginta and Hakkaku should be back soon, I'm sure." Kouga told her.  "They may not seem too smart at first, but they're really reliable and they won't stop working until they find a way to get me out."

"What if they just don't come back?" Kagura asked idly.

"Why wouldn't they?" Kouga sounded as though the idea hadn't even occurred to him.  "Of course they'll come back."

_Because everything here is lies and more lies.  Nothing is true, nothing is solid.  It's all an illusion._

"Never mind." She answered him with a wave of her hand.  "I was just thinking.  What will you do when you get out of here, then?"

"Go after Naraku, of course." Kouga told her, his tone stating that there was simply no other course of action.

"What about me?" she wanted to know.

"What about you?" he asked.

"You wouldn't just leave me, would you?" she answered his question with one of her own.  "Not when you could have a chance to kill me."

"I can do that later." Kouga snorted, waving a hand dismissively.  "Naraku's pissing me off the most right now."

"So you're letting me go?" Kagura actually laughed at this.  It was a funny thing to think of, if only because she knew that in a fight, Kouga stood very little chance of beating her.

"Is that funny?" he wanted to know, obviously a bit insulted by her levity.  "I just don't feel like it right now!"

"Oh, well thanks a lot." She rolled her eyes.  "Sparing my life so graciously, it's just so thoughtful of you."

"Don't piss me off, or I _will_ kill you as soon as the barrier's down." Kouga grumbled.  There was a long silence before he spoke up again.  "What do you think you'll do when we get out?"  Kagura closed her eyes to think about his question, and when she finally answered, the faintest smile graced her lips.

"Fly on the wind." She told him.

"That's it?  You do that all the time." He snorted, apparently untouched by her answer.

"But I've never been free before." She pointed out.  "I suppose that I'm not really free still.  He holds my heart, and anytime he wants to, Naraku will kill me."

"So you'll just fly around pointlessly until he does?" Kouga shook his head.  "If it were me, I'd kick his ass."

"Not that you're biased or anything." Kagura rolled her eyes.  "Well, I've tried that, but it never seems to work out.  I'll find my own path in time, and I'll hope that it leads to freedom."

"What about your sister?" Kouga asked.  "You gonna free her too?"

"If I can." Kagura sighed, feeling tired all of the sudden.  She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before.  "She's my sister."

"And if someone killed her," he began, his voice hard.  "Would you hate them?"

"I'd kill them." She spoke without having to think about it.

"Now you know what I feel." He told her, lying down on the hard cave floor to get some sleep.  Kagura did the same where she had been sitting, but she found that sleep was a long time in coming.

_This feeling…caring about what happens to Kanna is a weakness, and I know it.  So why can't I make it go away?_

_And why do I want Kouga's forgiveness so badly?  It won't change the way my life is only an illusion._

*****

The End (Of Part 5, That Is)


	6. Ghost

Things are about to happen, I swear.  Hehe, I love this story so much.  It's like my baby right now.  That and this other one I've started…but I can't post that until I finish posting Center Stage, which I actually have finished.  Bwahaha, all those people asking what happens…it's been done since July.  Yesssssss.  Maybe I'd just post the rest all at once if I wasn't still really bitter about the "nedz mo inu/kag kizn 4 id 2 b gud" reviewers.  And don't think I'm exaggerating, because I _wish_ I were.  Sigh, onto my story.

*****

Something Is Real

Part 6

*****

Kagura sighed as she rolled a stone between her fingers, tossing it at the barrier that sparked pink and white in a random pattern of outspread lines.  When the sparks dissipated, she bent down to find another stone in the still dim hours before dawn.  Kouga was, of course, still asleep, but she had been unable to find rest for more than a couple of hours herself.  Her mind was still swirling in a sea of doubts and fears.  Did she want to be free?  Certainly she did, it was what she had always hoped for.

"Fire flowers." The calm voice caught Kagura by surprise, and she stood straight up, looking around for the source of the words.

"What?" she narrowed her eyes in disbelief as her gaze managed to discern a familiar figure emerging from the forest.  She was clad in priestess robes, and she carried a bow at her side with arrows strapped in a quiver over her shoulder.  Her long, dark hair was pulled back from a cold, pale face with a length of white ribbon tied low in the general style of Shinto shrine maidens.

"In China, they have chemicals that they mix together and light on fire." Kikyo seemed to be explaining not her sudden, unwarranted appearance, but instead the meaning of her words.  "They explode in the air, creating a colored light display that can be most impressive.  I do not remember what they were called, but the word is written as fire flowers."

"What are you doing here?" Kagura elaborated her question.  Kikyo was an admirable and respectable woman, but that did not mean Kagura was going to trust her sudden appearance as something good.  "Are you after me?"

"That's an impressive barrier." Kikyo continued on as though Kagura hadn't spoken at all, stepping closer to the youkai woman who was now feeling distinctively threatened.  Kikyo was definitely not a person to be taken lightly, dead shell of a miko or not.  "Naraku must have put much thought and effort into acquiring it specifically for you.  Are you flattered that he would go to so much trouble for your sake?  Like a bird in a cage."

"How did you find me?" Kagura tried again, but Kikyo was bending low to pick a plant of some sort.  Kagura couldn't quite make out what she was doing until the woman stood again and was holding some sort of purple flower that Kagura thought was vaguely familiar, though she didn't know the name of it.

"These are common enough." She told the other woman, or perhaps she was talking to herself now.  It was becoming increasingly difficult for Kagura to tell what Kikyo was up to.  "Have you ever tasted one?"

"No, I don't eat flowers." Kagura decided to go along with wherever it was that Kikyo was taking the conversation.

"Good thing.  They're poisonous." Kikyo smelled the flower with a delicate gesture of her hand toward her nose, and Kagura quirked an eyebrow in curiosity.

"What do you _want?_" Kagura asked, utterly confused.

"I think the question you should be asking, little bird, is what do _you_ want?" Kikyo let her hand drop, still holding the flower between two slender fingers.

"What do _I_ want?" Kagura shook her head, trying to make sense of the other woman's words. "I want you to start making sense."

"You serve Naraku, not questioning his orders or his methods.  You follow every word he says to the letter, and so why would he place you here?" Kikyo seemed to be considering this.  "Here with the youkai who wants you dead so badly…as though Naraku were trying to kill you.  But why would he do something to his detachment unless it became apparent that no matter where the body was created, the soul is your own?  Perhaps Naraku is feeling betrayed, as I was once so long ago."

"Are you saying you're like Naraku?" Kagura guessed, still rather confused.  Hadn't Kikyo betrayed Naraku as well already?  That was why Kagura admired the woman, for her ability to escape such an ill-fated partnership without any damage.  Not that there was much damage one could do to a dead person, but still.

"No, I believe that I am much the same as you." Kikyo told the youkai.  "Trapped inside my own heart, although you are trapped by a man we both despise.  Am I wrong?"

"What are you going to do about it?" Kagura wanted to know.

"My dearest wish is to see Naraku suffer for what he has done and to remain forever in the hearts of those I have loved." Kikyo told the other girl.  "What is yours?"

"My wish?" Kagura asked, and Kikyo nodded slightly.  "To fly free in the wind."

"That is very innocent and sad at the same time." Kikyo closed her eyes.  "Eat the flower." She lifted her hand, and it went through the barrier with no problem whatsoever.  Of course, she was not a youkai.  She was not really a human, but she was still not a youkai.  She was as beautiful and horrible as the flower she held, and Kagura took a step away from her.

"Why?" Kagura wanted to know as Kikyo stepped straight through the barrier.  She would not force Kagura to eat it, would she?

"It would be better to die than to seek a dream that is so very difficult, wouldn't it?" Kikyo's eyes were so very sad, but Kagura realized that they had always been that way.  Why had she never noticed?  And what was really in Kikyo's past to make her so terribly mournful and mysterious?  Something to do with Inuyasha, she was sure, and yet Naraku would never tell her the truth of the woman's past.

"Maybe." Kagura admitted, reaching for the flower.  Wasn't this what she had been hoping for?  _A way out of everything…a way to forget the anger in Kouga's eyes, the pain in Kanna's, the fear in everyone when they see me.  Why is no one ever happy?  I have only death to bring, and it would be fitting and just if I were to die here in such a stupid way._

_If it were me, I'd kick his ass._

Kagura hesitated at the sound of Kouga's voice in her head, telling her what he would do in her place.  _He doesn't know how horrible life is when you have never known freedom and can only envy others that simple joy…and yet, he is so strong.  Is it because he is free?  Or is it because he sees the world in a different way than me._

_You look normal when you smile like that.  Like a normal person._

_What do I usually look like?_

_Like you hate the world._

_Would he take the flower?  No…I know he wouldn't.  He's too stubborn to let himself die over doubts and fears and not being able to reach his goals.  Kouga would just try harder and get stronger until everything was possible for him.  That's the kind of person he is._  Kagura sighed and dropped the flower, letting her eyes follow it's decent to the ground.

"Why do you linger?" Kikyo asked after a long moment of silence.

"Why do you?" Kagura replied, and Kikyo actually smiled at her.  It was almost odd to see.

_Like a normal person._

"If you escaped this cage, where would you fly?" Kikyo asked her, the smile still lingering on her lips.  "Naraku would find you no matter where you went, and he'd kill you."

"I doubt I'm at the top of his list." Kagura rolled her eyes, letting her posture relax slightly.  This was not as hostile as it had seemed at first.  But why?  What had just happened?

"He would not let you escape." Kikyo insisted.

"But I'd die free." Kagura answered, pride gleaming in scarlet eyes.  Kikyo considered her for a moment and nodded, raising a hand to her lips and closing her eyes in concentration.  Kagura thought about asking what she was doing, but sincerely doubted the pale miko would tell her anyway, so she remained silent until a stone just a short distance from her shimmered and seemed to become less real.

_An illusion…but what is it hiding?_

"A barrier like this is not hard to create if one can find the correct youkai and control it long enough to plant it in the proper spot." Kikyo spoke, opening her eyes now and slowly setting up her bow, nocking an arrow almost casually.  "The trouble is that such youkai are grounded in camouflage and do not like to move.  Also, they are exceedingly rare and difficult to come across.  They do serve a very effective purpose when trying to imprison or torture youkai, but there is a flaw to this barrier.  Like any youkai, it can be killed if it is purified."  With that, she released the arrow and the shimmering stone began to pulse wildly until it exploded, and Kagura was disgusted and surprised to find bits of blood on her kimono.  Kikyo blinked at her momentarily and spoke once more.  "I must be going."

"Wait…what did you just do?" Kagura wanted to know, and in answer, Kikyo bent down and handed her a small stone.

"I expected you to take the flower." Kikyo told her.  "But you dropped it.  I am impressed, though I might have allowed more fire flowers.  They were rather pleasing to the eye, weren't they?"

"You…what?" Kagura blinked again before it hit her.  "I'm…free."

"Fly away, little bird." Kikyo turned to leave the way she had come.  "To wherever you can die free."

"Wait!" Kagura turned and looked at the cave.  Kouga was in there, asleep still, and she somehow was hesitant to leave him when she had no idea where they might meet again.  _Maybe next time I see you, you'll try to kill me again.  But until then, I will think of us as friends, in my own way._  Kagura bit her lip before whirling to chase after the priestess that had just disappeared into the woods, feeling a surge of power as she moved.  _The barrier isn't sucking my youki out anymore.  My strength is returning.  But will it save me?_

----------

Kouga woke up and stretched inside the cave, feeling strangely refreshed and invigorated, even though he hadn't eaten anything since the night before last.  Standing up, he noticed something felt odd.  And something smelled odd.  _My nose…it's stronger than before, like my youki's back almost…_

"What's going on, Kagura?" he stepped out of the cave and looked around for the wind user, but was shocked to see that the only signs of her were a few patches of dried youkai blood on the ground and a fallen flower that still had her scent on it.  "A flower…and all this blood…it's not hers, is it?"  But that was ridiculous.  Someone like her was too stubborn and obnoxious to die when she had help nearby.  _Would she call to me, though, if she needed it?  Even if it meant she might die if she didn't call out?_  He wasn't sure, and the whole situation seemed strange.  And then there was the return of his youki…

Sitting down on a rock, Kouga picked up a pebble and rubbed it between his fingers, seemingly enjoying the play of the light as it fell through the layers of leaves above his head.  But as soon as he felt he was ready, Kouga threw the pebble sharply ahead of him and stared at the spot where the barrier was.  Or at least, where it had been.  "What the fuck?" Kouga was mystified when his pebble didn't pause and flew in a straight arc.  Perhaps he had not rubbed it long enough…

"Come _on_, we've wasted enough time already!" a familiar voice came to him through the woods that surrounded Kouga and the cave, and he pinpointed the direction at once.  It was Ayame, at least it sounded a lot like her, and he could certainly smell the wolf girl as well as Hakkaku, Ginta, the wolves, and their new companions.

"Kagome…" he breathed the name as he picked up another pebble, rubbing it hard before pelting it ahead of him.  Nothing.

"He's not fucking _going_ anywhere." Another voice, and this one he recognized as well.  Inuyasha.  Of course the dog turd wouldn't let Kagome go anywhere without him.  Kouga threw another rock and watched it fall gracefully.  "You said there's a barrier, so don't get all worked up."

"Ayame-chan's only worried that something could happen to Kouga." Kagome's voice came next, just as Kouga took a hesitant couple of steps forward, stretching his arm out and bracing himself.  He _really_ did not want to be on the ground when Inuyasha found him.  But it seemed as though the barrier had somehow been destroyed…

"That is a reasonable fear, considering the circumstances." The voice was that of the perverted monk who was always trying to grab Kagome, even though Kouga had _clearly_ claimed her.  Even _he_ wasn't as impertinent as Inuyasha, however.

"I'm just saying it shouldn't take this long to get from one place to another." Ayame was complaining loudly as she stepped into view with the rest of the Inuyasha-tachi and the wolves behind and around her.  "It's just unbearably _slow_ walking everywhere and always stopping to camp and everything."

"If Kagome-oneesan wants to sleep, she can sleep." Hakkaku defended the woman that the wolves all saw as Kouga's mate now that he had claimed her.  At least _someone_ took his claim seriously.  "Hey, it's here!"

"Kouga!  We brought back a lot of people and…wait." Ginta had rushed forward until he realized that Kouga was strolling up the path to meet them.  "Uh…Kouga?"

"Yeah?" Kouga was rather confused about how it was that he had just walked through where the barrier _should_ have been, but he figured it was better not to question such good fortune.  And now he would not need to accept the help of that stupid dog crap.  "You guys were late, so I figured a way out."

"Of a youki absorbing barrier?" the monk, Miroku was his name if Kouga recalled correctly, raised both dark eyebrows in surprised admiration.  "I would like to know how you did such a thing…"

"Kouga!  You're safe!" Ayame clapped her hands together, looking younger than usual as she began to fawn over him like usual.

"What's it matter, I just did." Kouga insisted, feeling a bit foolish.  Kagura had somehow broken the barrier, and then run off like that.  Why?  Maybe she didn't want his gratitude.  Maybe she didn't believe him when he said he wouldn't kill her, but he had been telling the truth.  "Now let's get out of here.  Naraku's got to be somewhere close, I know it."

"Hey!  Tell us where he's at!" Inuyasha stepped forward angrily.  "That's the least you can do after getting us to come all the way out here for nothing!"

"I didn't send for you, dog turd." Kouga lifted his chin and smiled winningly at Kagome.  "Sorry you had to come so far, Kagome, but it means a lot that you would come when I was in trouble.  I'll remember this."

"I didn't…um…" Kagome seemed a bit confused, and Ayame was now pouting in indignation.

"Kouga!  I was the one who brought them." Ayame insisted.

"It was _our_ idea, you were just following us." Ginta growled angrily at the girl, and Kouga raised an eyebrow in surprise.  He wasn't crazy about Ayame, but he had just assumed that Ginta and Hakkaku liked her.  Most of the wolf youkai thought she was quite pretty and very sweet, which was true when she wasn't trying to throw herself at Kouga.  He wasn't really happy to see her usually, as it typically meant there was trouble or she was going to harass him and be mean to Kagome.  "Anyway, where's that girl?"

"What girl?" Kouga blinked after a moment of shock.

"That's _right!_"  Ayame seemed to renew her attack.  "Ginta and Hakkaku said there was a girl in there with you that they could smell.  A youkai!  Who is she?"

"There's no one else there." Kouga said, not sure why he was keeping it a secret, but still…what would Ginta and Hakkaku think of him if they knew he'd let Kagura go after what she did?  After all, there technically was no one else in the cave anymore, so it wasn't like he was lying.  Just misleading.

"I _knew_ you got it wrong!" Ayame pointed a triumphant finger at a glowering Ginta.  "What kind of wolf can't even smell the difference between a girl and _nothing_?"

"I'm telling you I smelled her!" Ginta insisted, and Kouga rolled his eyes.  He felt sorry for Kagome if these two had been half as irritating for the past few days as they were being at that moment.

"Let's get out of here." He reminded his men of his former order, and Hakkaku ran up to him, while Ginta and Ayame continued to argue.

"You wouldn't know a girl's smell anyway." She told the other wolf.  "How would you?"

"How would _you_?" he shot back, and her jaw dropped in angry shock.

"If I may interrupt." Miroku stepped forward, and Kagome as well as her other companions turned their attention to him.  "Kouga, I believe it would be wise if you traveled with us for the time being."

"No fucking way." Inuyasha shot it down immediately.

"Think about it." Miroku insisted.  "Naraku is after him, so he will likely come back to get him even if he has taken Kouga's shards.  And beside that fact is the idea that with greater numbers, our chances of defeating and finding Naraku increases."

"That's true, Inuyasha." Kagome turned wide eyes to him, and Kouga entertained the brief idea that she might be hoping to spend more time with him.  However, he was just as hesitant to travel with Inuyasha as the hanyou was to travel with him.

"Ooh!  Can we come too?" Ayame turned to Kouga with wide green eyes and he was momentarily baffled until he realized she must be making a request on behalf of her tribe's fighting force, which was currently reduced to her and about three old wolves.  "That's what I was coming for to start out with!  Our camp was ruined, and I thought we could just travel with you."

"Hey!  What the fuck is this?  Since when did I say other people could travel with us?" Inuyasha was roaring with indignation as Kagome attempted to soothe him.

"Like I wanna go _anywhere_ with you!" Kouga shot back.

"I go with Kouga!" Ayame exclaimed, pumping her fist into the air and smiling brightly.

"No way!" Ginta protested.

"If you would only _consider_ it, Inuyasha." Miroku was still trying to get his point across.  And on the sidelines, a youkai taijiya, a baby fox, and a large cat youkai watched all of the proceedings.

"After this, can we eat lunch?" Shippo asked Sango, his eyes pleading.  "I'm pretty hungry."

"By the time this is cleared up, it'll be well past dinner time." She told him before opening the food bag and handing him a bag of chips.  Might as well enjoy the show while it lasted.

*****

The End (Of Part 6, That Is)


	7. Fish

Notice the stuff?  See how it happens?  Enjoy.  I'm soooo happy all the time.

*****

Something Is Real

Part 7

*****

"Are you following me?" the pale woman did not sound angry in the least, which gave Kagura a bit of confidence.  However, the way that Kikyo was looking at her was definitely unnerving.

"You…um, you let me go." Kagura explained, trying not to lower her eyes from the penetrating gaze of the dead miko.

"And so?" Kikyo arched a dark eyebrow as she stood in the middle of the path they had been walking down only moments before.  "I do not remember requesting a companion."

"That's true." Kagura just felt stupid now.  Why had she even followed Kikyo in the first place?  The woman was intriguing, and yet she was so antisocial it was almost like spending time with Kanna.  "But we have the same goal."

"Naraku?" Kikyo seemed to be interested now.  "I thought your greatest ambition was to fly."

"Fly free." Kagura corrected.  "I can't do that while he's alive."

"Admirable." Kikyo blinked.  "You realize that this is basically a suicide mission?"

"Do you?" Kagura asked in return.

"You forget I'm already dead." Kikyo reminded the youkai.  "What's your excuse?"

"Ever try living as a slave?" Kagura challenged, receiving no reply.  "And besides that…it's something I have to do."

"You have to?  Why?" Kikyo wanted to know.  Kagura's mind swirled with confused images.  Kanna's happiness, Kouga's forgiveness, her own freedom.  A girl smiling, a man holding her hand, a woman flying.  Freedom.

"I have things.  Things I care about." Kagura answered vaguely, and Kikyo's curiosity was piqued, but she affected indifference.

"Very well.  Perhaps I have too long traveled alone." Kikyo shrugged and turned to continue walking.  Kagura sped up a couple steps until they were side by side.  It was strange to feel like she might be making another friend, if not forming a companionship or alliance at the very least.  It made her feel stronger to know that she had someone else she could rely on, and it was odd since Naraku always made it seem as though such relationships were liabilities rather than assets.  And with him, it had certainly _seemed_ to be a weakness.  Her ties to Naraku were unbearably crippling, and it infuriated her that even though she might learn to believe in Kikyo, the dead miko would likely never be able to rely on her in the final battle.  Not when Naraku could so easily kill her.  And yet, she had still accepted Kagura's companionship even though it could not possibly be of any use to her against Naraku.  So then why had she agreed to it?

_Maybe she's sick of being alone.  I know I am._  Kagura glanced at the other woman, but it was impossible to tell what she was thinking with her face as utterly impassive as always.

"Kikyo?" she spoke up after a while.  "I wanted to say something to you."

"Say it then." Kikyo prompted.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

_I hope we can be friends._

----------

"Thank you, Kouga-kun." Kagome smiled at the wolf as he dropped an armload of firewood next to the pit where she was starting dinner.  Her smile was worth the gathering, but he still felt vaguely as though he was being tricked.  He wondered why, but then Inuyasha entered the clearing with a ridiculous bundle of wood balanced in his own arms.  And suddenly he remembered _why_ he didn't want to help Kagome build a fire.  "Oh, Inuyasha, don't hurt yourself!" she jumped up and directed her attention to the hanyou, who was grumbling and trying to set the wood down without dropping any on his feet or Kagome.  It was actually a little bit entertaining.

"And we can take a bath after dinner." Sango was explaining to a raptly attentive Ayame as both girls walked past, presumably to help Inuyasha even though they didn't make any attempt to actually relieve him of his load.  "Usually the priest tries to watch, but don't worry if he does.  We have Shippo keep watch, and they don't usually get close enough to actually see anything.  Kouga isn't a peeper, is he?"

"Oh, no, he wouldn't be, I don't think." Ayame shook her head furiously.  "But those wolves of his have _no_ manners at all."

"Try handing me some…Inuyasha…" Kagome was now attempting to pry some of the burden free, but Inuyasha wouldn't have any of it.  Kouga's alarms went off when Kagome began pulling at an arm in an attempt to coerce him into letting her help, and he intervened immediately.

"Stupid dog shit, just gimme those." Kouga pulled away a large amount of the wood, but it ended up causing the whole stack to topple over.  Inuyasha immediately threw himself over Kagome to protect her from the shower of firewood, and Sango actually managed to push Ayame out of the way while taking a large piece to her back with a respectably restrained grunt of pain.  Kouga was absolutely covered in the wood, but at least he managed to tuck himself into a tight ball before any of it made contact.

"Fucking genius!" Inuyasha was on his feet as soon as the last stick had fallen, scolding Kouga like he was some sort of pup.  "You coulda hurt someone like that!  Don't you think about anything before you _do_ it!"

Flash of scarlet eyes, brimming with unshed tears and pleading for him to understand.

_I am sorry…I wish I could undo it._

_You can't_

Why did that sting?  Did he regret letting Kagura live, or was it something else?  _Must be the stupid firewood_.  But it wasn't the bruises on his back that bothered him at the moment.  He didn't get a long time to think about it before Ayame was rushing to him, pulling him up and fussing over him as though a few lousy sticks could _actually_ hurt him.  If Kagura had been there, she wouldn't have thrown such a fit about it, unless it was a laughing fit.  She'd never let him hear the end of it.

_What does it matter, though?  She's not here, and it's better that way._

_Isn't it?_

"Kouga, let me see…" Ayame was trying to pull at his clothing, and he noted with displeasure that Kagome was also fussing over Inuyasha when it was _that_ idiot's fault in the first place.

"Hands off!  It's not like some fucking sticks could hurt me!  I'm wearing armor!" Kouga hadn't meant to treat Ayame harshly, but he couldn't help it.  It was just so frustrating how he kept thinking of Kagura, and how Kagome wasn't paying _any_ attention to him, instead lavishing it all over Inuyasha.

"Sango-chan, are you okay?" Kouga's jealousy abated slightly when Kagome rushed over to the demon taijiya who was rubbing at her back and making an irritated face.

"Eh, I'm fine, it just ripped my kimono…I'll have to fix it tonight. Sango explained as she withdrew her hand from the spot where she'd been struck and Kagome exclaimed in shock to see a smear of red streaking the other girl's fingers.

"You're bleeding!" Kagome was immediately rushing for her bag, digging through it until she produced a kit of medical supplies, much to Sango's annoyance.  "Let me see…"

"Oh, it's barely a scratch…" Sango trailed off as she felt a firm hand on the small of her back, just below the spot where she had been hit by the wood.

"Sango, it seems that you have been injured." Miroku's deep voice confirmed her suspicions as to who the owner of the hand might be.  "Kagome-sama, we should heal this right away."

"Yes, I got my kit out and I was just going to." Kagome smiled brightly at having Miroku side with her, and both of them hustled the grumping Sango off to a flat patch of grass where they could see to her wound, minor though it was.  Kouga snorted slightly and realized that Ayame was still next to him.  She was no longer grabbing him in any manner, but instead sitting beside him in a very contrite fashion while staring at her hands and pouting slightly.

"I'm fine." He told her, feeling a bit guilty for his outburst earlier.  It was definitely helping his mood to see Inuyasha setting about to clean up the mess of firewood while grumbling under his breath the entire time, and the fact that Kagome was now preoccupied with her friend also added to his indulgence.  "Just don't get so worked up next time."

"Well," Ayame was kneading a bit of the fur in her pelt, worrying the strands together and squeezing them into her little fists.  "It's just that I care about you, Kouga.  You know that I do.  I've told you so many times and I…"

"I know." Kouga patted her shoulder, feeling a bit weary and wondering why he couldn't help but think of Ayame as a child.  Every time that he saw her, no matter how she had grown and what she could do, no matter her strength or her appearance, he always saw that scared little girl who had clutched his neck tight as he carried her through the night of the moon rainbow.  It was sad, and regretful perhaps.  Her grandfather truly had hoped for them to mate when Ayame reached a suitable age, and it was not something that Kouga thought he could do even out of kindness for the old wolf.  To mate with a girl who he was certainly fond of, but for whom he felt the love of a brother…it was certainly unnatural and every instinct in him fought against the idea, no matter _how_ depleted the tribe had become, and no matter what a sensible match it might seem at first glance.  And then…she did care for him.

"Kouga, I've wanted to talk to you…but there hasn't been time with everything that's going on." Ayame looked as though she were about three seconds from bursting into tears, and Kouga's anti-girly crying alarms were going off full blast.  He looked around desperately for some sort of escape, but she was holding his hand now.  What could he do without upsetting her even more than he already had?

"Kouga!  Look at how many we caught!" Ginta chose that moment to march into the clearing with Hakkaku and the wolves bearing the welcome gift of about fifteen fish as well as a much-needed interruption.  They were also accompanied by the large cat demon and the little fox demon that Kouga thought he'd heard Kagome call Shippo once or twice.

"Oh, Ginta!  Hakkaku, why don't you two help me set those up so they can get ready when it's time for dinner." Kagome was on her feet immediately, and Kouga joined them, taking a share of the fish to assist them, even though he knew they were perfectly capable of preparing food for themselves, and usually they wouldn't even bother to cook the fish, but apparently a few days with Kagome had forced them to show every modicum of human etiquette that they could possibly manage.

"Should I help too?" Ayame joined them, looking a bit embarrassed, and Kouga handed her a fish with an apologetic smile.  He hoped that she understood he really was sorry.  He just…didn't think he had the heart to explain it to her so fully.

_If only she didn't look at me so hopefully…like I'm the only one in the world who can solve her problems.  It makes me feel like everything I do is letting her down._  Kouga thought as he worked on setting the fish on sticks that Shippo was placing diligently next to the fire.  _And it reminds me of everything I've done to make that look feel wrong.  I'm not perfect…I've failed so many people._  His kinsmen, who had died so needlessly; Kagome, who had suffered so much; Kagura…

_Kagura?  I never failed her.  I never owed her anything._ He thought stubbornly, but he could still see those eyes, so hurt and pleading with him so desperately.  Perhaps even more desperately than the green eyes of Ayame who looked on him with such adoration and hope.  _That time…she said it didn't matter…that she didn't expect me to care…but when she apologized, I think that Kagura really did feel sorry for what she did.  And even though it doesn't make her any better, it makes me worse because I wouldn't forgive her.  All she wanted from me was forgiveness._

_But I still can't do it.  So I guess I'm failing her as well._  He sighed and stabbed the last fish before handing it to Shippo and glancing over at where the monk was being surprisingly honorable about the small cut on Sango's back.  However, almost as if on cue, there was a sudden stiffness to her body and she turned around to slap him so sharply the noise reverberated through the clearing, and Kagome let out a weary sigh of her own.  It had only been a few days now, but Kouga was growing accustomed to this new way of life.  He was enjoying the large group, the constant company, and the varied experiences that were so reminiscent of his tribe before Kagura had killed them…

_And there I go again…why can't I think of something else?_  But the truth of it was that even before he had spent so much time with her, Kagura's sin had occupied his mind nearly every waking moment of his travels in pursuit of her and of Naraku.  _Maybe that's why I can't forgive her.  When you want vengeance…you don't expect apologies like that.  You expect evil and hardship and a fight against all odds to show all of the kin that died that you were willing to risk everything to avenge them.  And now…it's hard to be mad at her.  But…forgiveness…I don't know if I can ever find that in myself for someone like her, no matter what excuses she has._

_She's my sister._

_And if someone killed her, would you hate them?_

_I'd kill them._

_Now you know how I feel._

Kouga sighed again and leaned back, enjoying the smell of the fish as they crackled and browned on the edge of the fire.  _Kagura might know how I feel.  She might understand.  But I hope…_he wasn't sure why, but even though he had sworn to kill her and still could not forgive her, he could not wish his own misery upon that sad-eyed youkai woman who was so alone and didn't even realize the sadness of her situation since it was all she had ever known.  _I hope her sister is alright._

"Kouga-kun, are you ready for some dinner?" Kagome leaned over him, smiling and offering a sufficiently roasted fish.  He smiled at her and took the fish, considering it slowly.

"Thanks." He didn't bite into it, though.  He thought he'd wait for it to cool.

*****

The End (Of Part 7, That Is)


	8. Brother

I have to say that I really love all the people who review this fic.  You guys rule, and I really appreciate the attention this fic has been getting despite the fact that it isn't a Inuyasha Kagome mush fest.  Thanks a lot!

*****

Something Is Real

Part 8

*****

He was starting to hear her voice in his heart.

It stung and made him want to cry, but it was still the best thing that he'd known for so long…ever since he began serving Naraku as nothing more than a mindless drone, most useful for his connections in the life he should have left long ago, Kohaku's life held no meaning.  But when he saw a flash of deep maroon eyes and heard the gentle lull of her voice, he knew that at least at one time, his life had been good.  Maybe it could be again.

Kohaku understood most of what was happening to him.  He knew that the shard of jewel in his back was keeping him alive, and that the instant it was removed he would die once more.  He wondered vaguely if his body would be in the same fresh condition it had been in when he was originally revived, or if he'd be nothing but bones and cloth by now.  He knew that the same shard that kept him alive was making him subject to Naraku's will.  It physically _hurt_ to disobey the demon, and it was almost as difficult to think for himself as it was to directly go against orders.  At times, Naraku would speak to him through the jewel, and he could hear the dark voice in his mind, see the baboon pelt-clad man as though he were standing there and not simply projecting himself into Kohaku's mind.  And he also knew that that same shard was _supposed_ to keep him from remembering his past and how he had come to serve Naraku, and why he might not actually _want_ to be at the demon's beck and call.

Actually, he wasn't very clear on that last one.  It seemed to him that it _might_ be the shard, or it might be some sort of spell aided by the power of the shard.  It was hard to know how your memory was wiped when your memory had been…well, wiped.  And he didn't really know a lot of people with shards in them who were necessarily _good_ people, so it was hard to tell whether the shards made them evil or if they had started out that way.

Kohaku didn't want to be evil.  He wanted to be a good guy.  He wanted to save people.  He wanted someone to save him.  He wanted to see the girl again.  He thought that she was his sister, but his memory was still so foggy that he wasn't sure.  He remembered her calling him that once though, so he thought that he must be her younger brother.  And where was the rest of his family?  What had happened to them?  It was hard to think of for very long, as he invariably witnessed some scene of unspeakable horror and got horrible headaches, or even passed out.  All in all, he would rather not think about where his family was.  Perhaps the girl with the ponytail and the maroon eyes could tell him.  He wasn't sure he wanted to hear, but he thought the truth was important.

He also thought that leaving Naraku's palace was important.  It seemed to him that the hanyou was collecting shards of the sacred jewel, and that he intended to finish it off to some horrible purpose that likely only a mind as twisted as his could conceive of.  Before that happened, he thought that it would be nice to escape and get one last chance at being a good guy, and maybe at dying with his mind intact.  He would like to remember more about the nice girl.  She had seemed so dear to him, and she had obviously cared for him a good deal.  Every time he saw her, it was utterly obvious from the way she looked at him, as though seeing him on the opposite side broke her heart every time she had to witness it.

He would like to hug her, and tell her that he was sorry they had fought, but that he really couldn't help being under Naraku's control at the time.  It took a lot of work and time to break through something so strong.  But he had done it for her love, and he would do it ten thousand times over, and he would run away from the castle that very night to seek her out.

It occurred to him as he was creeping down a corridor polluted with the dark aura of Naraku that he could hear a faint sound, something rustling and very soft cries, almost as if someone were being tortured with a gag of some sort to suppress their cries.  It would be all too likely, considering the sounds were coming from Naraku's chambers.

_What should I do?_  Kohaku's hand wandered to the sickle held in place at his waist, running his finger along the dull side of the weapon and down to the handle.  His fingers closed slowly around the wood as he snuck up to the chamber doors as quietly as possible.  _It won't be much of a secret escape if I burst in there now.  And he'll kill me before I get to see_ her _again._  He wondered vaguely if it was selfish to wish so much for that meeting that even though he wanted to be a hero, he was too worried for his own life to risk anything.

_That's not true.  He'll kill me when he notices I've escaped.  But then, he would kill me eventually anyway.  Just like Kagura._  Kohaku shuddered slightly as he imagined exactly what might have become of the wind youkai who had, strangely enough, made Naraku's castle almost bearable.  She was odd and rather obnoxious, petty and foolish, but she was a lot more entertaining than the oppressing Naraku and the eerie Kanna.  Kohaku noticed just then that he had been so lost in thought that he had failed to notice the end of the noises.  There was a strange, muffled noise and then a sort of limping shuffle toward the door.  To be cautious, the former taijiya melted into the shadows of the hallway to see who it might be.  He did not relish meeting with Naraku when he had been only moments ago planning to escape.

But the pale girl who closed the door so softly behind her even though she was obviously in great pain was a lot less threatening than Naraku, even if she had always struck Kohaku as odd and a bit creepy.

Kanna.

She was limping, but he could not see any visible wounds on her body.  And after a moment, he heard that same muffled noise from before as her shoulders shook slightly.  He saw something then that frankly amazed him beyond all belief.

Kanna was crying.

He determined at that moment that his escape could wait until he got to the bottom of this recent development, and he waited a few moments before stealing after the little girl, who was limping bravely back to her own room.  When she was only feet from her door, she stopped and turned around, to his great surprise.  He had thought he was moving silently, but she did not look surprised at all to see him staring back at her.  He expected her to ask him what he was doing, but as was typical with the youkai girl, she simply blinked at him and waited for him to figure out what to say.

"What's wrong?" he asked her after some time, shocked at the kindness in his voice.  Was he actually concerned for her?  But then…why shouldn't he be?  She seemed so helpless, and even though he knew she was capable of defending herself, he knew that neither of them stood a chance against Naraku's aggressions and angers and punishments.  So he sympathized.  "Did he hurt you?"

"Yes." She answered.  He waited for her to elaborate, but of course, she didn't.

"What did he do?" he prompted her.

"Bad things." She replied, her voice like a whisper on the wind, small and unsure and very afraid.

"Uh…will you be okay?" Kohaku didn't know what else to ask.  She wasn't being very forthcoming.

"No." she paused, and he thought she would say no more, but then she turned shining, dark eyes up to him.  "I miss her."

"Kagura?" It took him a moment to figure out who Kanna could possibly know well enough to miss.

"Do you miss your sister?" the question struck Kohaku so deep he forgot to breath for a few moments.  He had only ever thought of the girls as detachments of Naraku.  He hadn't thought that in a strange way, they were sisters, the only family other than Naraku that each of the females had.  And it was hard not to feel sorry for Kanna when she stared at him with eyes so wide and lost and lonely.

"Yeah, but at least mine is still alive." Kohaku sighed, truly pitying the little youkai.

"Kagura is not dead." Kanna blinked at him after a moment.  "I watch her."

"You…oh, with that?" Kohaku indicated the mirror.  "Does Naraku know?"

"He punishes me for not showing him where she is.  I tell him I cannot find her." Kanna's mouth quirked, and Kohaku realized she was attempting a smile.  "It is a lie."

"Kagura used to lie to him all the time." Kohaku assured her.

"I know." Kanna lowered her head, sad again.  Kohaku's conscience had a small internal struggle as he watched the girl and realized that she had no one in the world besides Naraku right now.  When he left, she would stay behind and likely die here, his unappreciated tool, never recognized as an individual with feelings.

_With a sister who she misses._  That was the end for Kohaku, he sighed and cleared his throat quietly to get her attention.  After glancing around to be sure there were no bees around, he took her little hand in his.  She tilted her head and looked at him as though utterly mystified.  It was unlikely that she had ever held someone's hand before, and it pulled at Kohaku's sympathies again as he began leading her down the hall to the exit.  She followed silently, not questioning where they were going, obviously unafraid of his intentions.  _Does she trust me that much, or has she just stopped caring anymore?_  He suspected it was the latter.

"Kanna, would you like to find your sister?" he asked the little girl once they were outside and moving toward the wooded area surrounding the hidden castle.  She nodded slightly, still looking confused.  "So would I.  If you help me find my sister, I'll take you to yours too."  She nodded once more and he smiled slightly.  It felt so good to be away from the castle.  His mind had been in a stew there, and now it was starting to clear, just a bit.  Sango, that was her name, wasn't it?  "But first, let's get as far from here as we can."

"Yes."

----------

"Can I ask you something?" Kagura spoke up as she picked at the fish she had just roasted over the fire she had made.

"I suppose you will ask anyway, won't you?" Kikyo raised an eyebrow from where she sat on a nearby rock.  She was close enough to feel the heat of the fire, but she didn't appear to notice it at all.  Kagura sometimes wondered exactly what the dead priestess could feel, but thought it was likely very rude to ask.  Not that Kikyo seemed to find her manners to be very impressive, which for some reason bothered Kagura very deeply, but all the same.  "Go ahead."

"I was only wondering if you thought that we'd win." Kagura asked, peeling off a long bit of fish which she proceeded to nibble on.  It wasn't very well cooked, and it was still hot.  She regretted eating it, but she had to eat _something_.

"Not really." Kikyo answered earnestly.  "I've told you it is a suicide mission."

"But I really would rather die, you know." Kagura bit into the fish, not caring about the taste.  "Rather than go back to that…how it was.  Or hide from him.  I'd probably die from shame."

"Are you really so proud?" Kikyo asked, actually seeming interested.  "After all you've done."

"I want a new life.  A real one." Kagura explained, setting aside the half-eaten fish.  She really couldn't bear it anymore.  "I want to be proud of things I've done.  I want to make my own choices and stop making so many mistakes."

"You will never stop making mistakes." Kikyo assured her.  "As long as we live, our actions are of our own choosing, and we invariably make mistakes.  No one can claim to have lived without ever doing something they regret."

"But I already regret so much." Kagura fingered her fan.  "Isn't it enough?"

"The wolf doesn't think so, does he?" Kikyo observed, and Kagura sat up so straight she snapped her neck.  "Or were you able to apologize to him?"

"In the cave…" Kagura wondered how long Kikyo had really watched them, but decided she didn't really want to know.  It would only embarrass her, likely.  "I told him how I felt, but it wasn't enough.  He wants me to die, I think.  Maybe that will be enough."

"Will it?" Kikyo seemed to be smiling ever so slightly, as though amused at Kagura's consideration.  "Will anything be enough to undo the past?"

"No." Kagura relented, feeling guilty and foolish and utterly horrible.  "I guess it won't."

"Then he is the one at fault here." Kikyo surmised, and Kagura narrowed her eyes in confusion while the other woman elaborated.  "You are truly sorry, are you not?"

"Yes." Kagura agreed.

"And you told him this, explained how you felt, and he ignored it all and refused to forgive you, did he not?" Kikyo recounted what she had just learned.

"Well…he wants to kill Naraku more than me now." Kagura explained, feeling stupid for trying to justify Kouga's boundless grudge.

"That hardly counts as forgiveness." Kikyo pursed her lips.  "Kagura, you are concerned about your soul, are you not?  You worry that you haven't the will to survive and stand a chance against Naraku."

"Yeah." Kagura nodded.  "He can kill me so easily…I'll only be a hindrance in the end."

"I don't think so." Kikyo countered.  "You were born to a man so purely evil that I have never in all my time seen something half as vile.  You were taken from his body and yet, you have a sense of right and wrong.  You repent past sins committed when you were barely more than a newborn, an age when morality and conscientious behavior is rarely considered a prerequisite for growing into a mature adult.  Your soul is so very young, and yet you have learned the error of your ways and truly wish to turn your life around and fix your past mistakes.  I know few people with your strength, and it pleases me to have you at my side."

"Kikyo…" Kagura's eyes goggled.  "Do you really mean all that?"

"Why would I say it if I didn't?" Kikyo made everything seem so simple.

"So…so then, are we friends now?" Kagura asked, her voice helplessly eager and startlingly innocent for one who had lived through so much, and washed the blood of so many off of her seemingly eternally stained hands.  Kikyo arched an eyebrow at her before the wind youkai elaborated.  "I…I've never really…well, I mean, Kanna is kind of…and well, that's different because she's my sister.  And Kouga kinda wanted…he'd like me to die I think…so that's not so much…but I've never had a friend before."

"I would be honored to call you my friend." Kikyo smiled at her softly.  "Though I should warn you that the friendship of a damned soul is not to be valued highly."

"I could say the same to you." Kagura was smiling so brilliantly.  "You've done much less evil than I have, I think."

"That may be." Kikyo agreed after a moment.  "But I still value you."

"Me too." Kagura had never been so happy before.  It seemed strange, but there it was.

She had a friend!

Maybe things would work out, after all.

Maybe she could save her sister, at the very least.  That would make her life worth something, she was sure.

*****

The End (Of Part 8, That Is)


	9. Flower

What's going on?  Will Kagura and Kikyo come up with a brilliant plan?  Or a Clever Scheme?  Will Kouga survive traveling with the Inuyasha tachi?  Will Ginta get himself smacked because of his endless Ayame teasing?  Will Miroku get himself smacked because of his endless Sango groping?  Will Kouga be subjected to further Ayame love confessions?  Does anyone feel bad for Ayame?  I mean, isn't it just kinda sad?  Does anyone really deserve the horrible pain of unrequited Kouga love?  Will Kohaku and Kanna make a clean escape?  Will they be able to find their sisters?  Will Kohaku remember more of his past?  Will Naraku screw everyone over?  Will Naraku die?  And where's Sesshoumaru during all of this?  Grooming, perhaps?  Who knows what illusions await, but just hold on and remember that…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 9

*****

"Don't wander too far." The voice of the little toad youkai reached Rin's ears as she bent to pluck a daisy from it's stem, working carefully to weave it in with the others she had gathered.

"I won't!" she assured him with a sunny grin and a flash of her grey eyes before skipping over to another patch of daisies she had yet to root through.  "Jaken-sama?"

"What?" the youkai was just as grumpy as usual, but Rin didn't mind.  He was a good friend of hers.

"Do you want some flowers too?  You can pick some…" she offered, sweeping her arm around to indicate the field that surrounded them.  "Or you could give some to Sesshoumaru-sama!  That's what _I'm_ doing!"

"I don't think so." Jaken snorted slightly and shifted the position where he was sitting on a fallen log.

"Sesshoumaru-sama is so pretty…it's hard to find flowers that are good enough." Rin explained to Jaken as she skipped past him to examine another patch of daisies.  The small youkai snorted and rolled his eyes.  He could remember a time when Sesshoumaru had been a fearful youkai lord who would have terrified any small children foolish enough to ever seek him out or stumble across his presence.  But now…Jaken couldn't help but be a bit disappointed with his newly appointed role as nanny.  What could Sesshoumaru _want_ with a little human girl?  It wasn't as though she could do anything remotely useful.  All she ever did was eat and sleep and sing songs and try to get Jaken to play games and pick flowers and get kidnapped.  She seemed like a liability…but Jaken understood that she was extremely important to Sesshoumaru.  He wondered if somehow there could have been something about how they met that he didn't really know.  Something that would make Sesshoumaru feel as if he somehow was obliged to let the little girl follow him around.  It was a mystery, that was for sure.

Although, Jaken had to admit, for a human she had surprisingly little fear and was willing to do just about anything that Sesshoumaru commanded.  And he had accrued a certain fondness for her despite his initial jealousy that Sesshoumaru should indulge her so much.  She was somewhat endearing, Jaken had to admit.  But he would _never_ admit it out loud.  It somewhat softened the realization to know that Sesshoumaru was just as weak to the little girl as Jaken was, if not moreso.

And in the end, it boiled down to Jaken being her babysitter.  Not that he was proud of this position, but at least he could fool himself into thinking that Sesshoumaru was the only one who cared what happened to the little girl.  And speaking of little girls…

"Rin?" Jaken stood up with a squawk.  "Rin, where did you go?"

She had wandered off.

Again.

"Worthless." Jaken grumbled before suppressing the panic.  He could find her soon enough.  If she hadn't been kidnapped.

Again.

----------

"Oh!  Purple flowers are the best!" Rin squealed in delight as she scrambled over to the patch of flowers that was growing just to the side of a tree trunk.  "Maybe if I weave them through the sides…"

"Rin?" the voice was familiar, but there was no one nearby that Rin could see.  It seemed that she had wandered away from Jaken again, but he would catch up soon enough.  She frowned slightly before a boy that she knew stepped out from behind a tree, looking at her with wide brown eyes.

"Kohaku!" she was so happy to see him, she almost crushed her flower crown, but she managed to stop herself at the last moment, instead smiling brilliantly and running up to the older boy.  She stopped when she noticed that there was a shy looking little girl about three feet behind Kohaku, looking at her in curiosity.  "Who's your friend?"  The idea of another little girl to play with was almost more joy than Rin could comprehend.  Jaken was fun, but he wasn't very good at being a girl.

"You shouldn't be wandering around by yourself, Rin." Kohaku scolded her lightly.  "This is Kanna."

"Kanna?  My name is Rin!" Rin stepped forward and held her hand out while smiling brightly so that the other girl would like her.

"Hello." Kanna took a step back, a bit unsure of what Rin wanted from her, and a little intimidated by the girl's outgoing behavior.

"Are you shy?" Rin's smile slipped slightly as she tried to think of a solution.  She couldn't let such a good opportunity for a playmate slip by.  After a moment, her eyes lit up and she closed the weave on her daisy chain hurriedly before thrusting it forward.  "Here!  I was gonna give it to Sesshoumaru-sama, but you can have it."  Kanna looked at Kohaku as though she was utterly dumbfounded, and he nodded at her.  She finally stepped forward and took the daisy crown, hooking her mirror through her obi before turning the flowers over in her hands gingerly.  At length, she sent Kohaku another searching look.

"You put it on your head." He told her, feeling a bit embarrassed.  It wasn't like Rin would really think any less of him…and what did that matter anyway?  It didn't stop him from flushing as he placed the crown on Kanna's head for her.  She blinked at him expectantly, and he indicated her mirror.  "Look and see."

"It's very pretty!  It goes with your hair!" Rin obviously admired her handiwork and had no compunctions about saying so.  Kanna was just unhooking her mirror when Jaken leapt into the path, brandishing the Staff of Heads as though against an army of assaulters.  Rin's hands flew to her mouth as Kohaku immediately pushed Kanna behind him and reached for his sickle.

"It's you again!" Jaken was in triumph at having averted another kidnapping.  He really _hated_ telling Sesshoumaru when he failed at his job as caretaker.  "You thought you'd take Rin away again?  Doesn't Naraku ever learn any new tricks!"

"Jaken-sama…Kohaku's nice." Rin reached for the toad's shoulder, but he swept her hand away dismissively.

"Don't worry, I'm here now Rin." Jaken was feeling extremely heroic.  He could hardly wait to see how grateful Sesshoumaru would be when he told him all about how faithfully he had protected the little girl.  Granted, he had let her wander off in the first place, but he could definitely embroider that bit of the story a little.  "Just stay back there and I'll get rid of this trash."

"They're not trash!  Kohaku's my friend!  And I gave Kanna my flowers!" Rin obviously thought this settled the matter.

"Stupid girl, don't you remember when this brat tried to kill you before?" Jaken reminded her.

"But that was a mistake!  Kohaku's nice on the inside, I know he is!" Rin insisted, attempting to pull the staff out of Jaken's hands, much to the toad's irritation and embarrassment.

"We aren't here for Rin, if that's what you think." Kohaku finally spoke up.  He was having a hard time getting Kanna to stay behind him, and she had pulled out her mirror like she thought it was time for a battle.  She was _not_ helping calm the situation down, that was for sure.  Although it was odd to think of Kanna as much of an instigator, he was pretty sure she mainly was attempting to protect him from the magical staff that the toad was trying to aim at them.  "And we don't serve Naraku anymore."

"No we do not." Kanna verified, finally ceasing her insistent attempts to move in front of Kohaku.  He understood that she was designed as a shield, but what kind of man let's a girl take his hits?

"See?" Rin was refusing to give up the point, and Jaken was starting to have his doubts.  It wasn't as though the brat and his little shadow would be a real danger to _him_, but the problem was Rin.  The problem was _always_ Rin.  He wondered when Sesshoumaru would get back.  He would take care of these two without a second thought.

"It doesn't matter what they want now!  They've insulted Sesshoumaru-sama and now they're enemies." Jaken insisted, amazed at the hold Rin had on the Staff of Heads.  She may only be a human girl, but she didn't seem to care that he should be stronger than her.

"No!  They're my friends!  If I tell Sesshoumaru-sama, he won't wanna kill them anymore, I know." Rin was desperate, and tears were building in her eyes, much to Jaken's dismay.

"Rin…don't cry!" he was terrified.  If he made the little girl cry, he didn't _want_ to think of the consequences.

"Then don't hurt my friends!" Rin burst into tears, letting go of the staff and moving herself between Jaken and Kohaku, who looked very upset with this new arrangement.

"Don't, Rin!" Kohaku warned her.

"Jaken-sama won't hurt me, he's my friend!" Rin explained through her tears, sniffling loudly just as Sesshoumaru stepped into the clearing they were all gathered in.

"Rin, why are you crying?" Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed as he took in the situation one piece at a time.  Rin was crying and standing between Jaken and Naraku's puppets, all of whom were looking at him in fear.  "What is going on here?"

"That brat was going to kidnap Rin again, but I stopped him!" Jaken attempted.

"No he wasn't!  And his name's Kohaku!" Rin shot back.

"We were just out here and we ran into her!" Kohaku tried to be heard at the same time.

"Silence." Sesshoumaru did not have to raise his voice to be obeyed.  He never had.  "One at a time.  Jaken, you may go first."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama, as I was saying." Jaken cleared his throat nervously now that everyone was listening to him.  "I was watching Rin, as you told me, and then she ran off.  I chased after her and then this brat and the girl had come to kidnap her.  I saw them clearly, so I immediately moved to attack them, but Rin seems to be upset by the fighting, so she told me to stop.  However, it seems to me that—"

"Very well, next." Sesshoumaru cut Jaken off impatiently.  "Rin?"

"Oooookay!" Rin seemed very pleased to have everyone's complete attention.  "Sesshoumaru-sama left to go do important Sesshoumaru-sama stuff like he always does and so then it was just Jaken-sama and Rin.  And Jaken-sama was being grumpy and boring, but Rin still likes him anyway because she knows that he really is a nice Jaken-sama on the inside and one time when she lost her pretty red flowers that she had picked for Sesshoumaru-sama he found her some more and told her he had just seen them and that he picked them up but Rin could tell they were different and only nice people can find the _really_ pretty flowers like that, so Jaken-sama's not as mean as he tries to be.  But this time he wouldn't help Rin pick the flowers for the pretty crown she was going to make for Sesshoumaru-sama because sometimes he's in a bad mood when Sesshoumaru-sama is gone and he thinks it makes him like a little kid to be left with Rin but it's not _bad_ to be a little kid because it's fun and you can play all day!  And then Rin wanted different flowers so she ran to find those purple ones that sometimes grow just under the trees, and she found some, and she was really proud and picking them all, but then Kohaku-kun came!  And he was with another little girl and Rin wanted to meet her and so Kohaku-kun told her that the girl was named Kanna, but Kanna was shy so even though the flowers were supposed to be for Sesshoumaru-sama, she gave them to Kanna so maybe she would smile and also be Rin's friend and pick flowers with her and make up songs and things like that, and Rin was happy.  But then Jaken-sama came and he didn't even ask what was going on and he tried to _kill_ them both, but Rin saved the day and then Sesshoumaru-sama came and saved the day even _more_.  That's all."

"And you?" Sesshoumaru turned a demanding look on Kohaku, who licked his lips and coughed slightly.

"Uh…see, Kanna and I…this is Kanna." He indicated the girl behind him.  "We were um…we left Naraku's castle to um…look for our sisters, and we were just out here walking.  And then I heard someone coming, so I told Kanna to hide and it was Rin.  And so I said hello to her, and then that guy tried to attack us.  And then you got here."  Kohaku finished, looking as though the telling of his story had been extremely demanding.

"You're dangerous." Sesshoumaru decided after a moment.  "Naraku can still control you."

"He's _not_ dangerous, he's my friend, Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin had tears in her eyes once more as she rushed over to stomp her foot emphatically while clenching her fists at the vaguely surprised youkai.  "And…I like him!"

"Do you?" Sesshoumaru blinked at Kohaku in a way that made the boy feel extremely threatened.  Before he met Sesshoumaru, he had no idea that blinking could be done in a threatening fashion.

"Yes!  And if Sesshoumaru-sama hurts him…or Kanna, Rin will be sad!" Rin threatened, obviously feeling this would get her point across efficiently.

"Rin.  I am in charge." Sesshoumaru reminded her calmly.  Sometimes he felt that he needed to remind _himself_ of that fact.

"Yeah, I know." She still had wetness in her eyes, as though holding the tears poised threateningly.  "But that doesn't mean I can't be sad.  And I won't pick you any flowers, cause it would be _mean_ to hurt Rin's friends!"  Sesshoumaru turned his eyes down to the little girl and mused over the idea of telling her that he wouldn't exactly suffer just because she stopped picking daisies for him, but the fact of the matter was that her feelings affected him, and he thought that she must know it.  Women could be extremely perceptive and manipulative.  He remembered his mother well enough, but he had no idea that the qualities could be present in someone so pure and young.  It was a bit daunting.

"Rin." He began again.  He _would_ make the little girl see sense.  He would not be forced to compromise with a ten year old.  He wouldn't.  "Kohaku is controlled by the shard in his back.  It is tainted by Naraku's evil, and if Kohaku were to go on living, he would invariably return into Naraku's service, likely attempting to take your life at some point as well.  That is why I cannot let him go."

"Then just take the shard _out_." Rin made it seem so simple.

"He can't." Kohaku spoke up, stepping toward Rin with a sad smile on his face.  "If he does, I'll die.  I'm sorry to have caused so much trouble.  I don't want to hurt Rin or any of you.  If you don't mind, I'd just like to go see my sister before I die."

"Who told you that you could go?" Jaken jabbed an accusatory finger at Jaken.  Rin, taking all of this in, turned back to Sesshoumaru and whimpered, her eyes glistening pleadingly.  He knew that look.  It meant that he was supposed to come up with a solution that would make everything better.  He hated that look.

"You, come here." He addressed Kohaku, and the boy stepped forward merely at the force of Sesshoumaru's address.  He didn't even realize that he had moved forward until Rin's startled squeak alerted him, and he saw with breathless terror that Sesshoumaru was suddenly holding a sword.  Sesshoumaru was scary when he simply standing at his leisure.  Sesshoumaru would likely be scary drinking tea and wearing that daisy crown Rin had made.  So Sesshoumaru with a sword and a righteous glare was absolutely terrifying.  Kohaku suddenly wished that he was taller.  Or perhaps somewhere else.  Somewhere very far from Sesshoumaru and his scary glare.  "Tell me something."

"Uh…" Kohaku was having a hard time forming coherent speech.

"When I last saw you, there was a way about you.  You were wishing for your death, I could see that quite clearly." Sesshoumaru was not given to long speeches, but when he deemed it fit, he could speak at length on any subject, and he found this topic to be considerably pressing as it was putting his charge in danger, if only indirectly.  "Now you seem intent on survival.  Toward what purpose?"

"He wants to see his sister." Rin interjected helpfully after a few moments of Kohaku biting his lip and looking scared.  "That's what he said before, right Kohaku?"

"Yeah." He managed, gulping and staring at his feet.  It was very hard to think correctly when Sesshoumaru was glaring at you so viciously.  "And…Kanna too."

"Kanna's that girl over there, Sesshoumaru-sama." Rin added helpfully.  "Kohaku's helping her.  Cause he's _nice_."

"That girl is Naraku's detachment." Sesshoumaru observed, narrowing his eyes at the unblinking youkai girl.  "I will tell you something.  I hate being made a fool.  Do not make me regret this, boy."  And with that, he lunged forward, swishing his sword through the air and slicing through Kohaku so cleanly and accurately that he managed to dislodge the shard, sending it flying through the air in a wide arc of sparkling pink and dark red splashes that followed it, like some mystical sort of shooting star that twinkled sharply as time seemed to freeze.

But after a moment, it was done, and Kohaku's eyes rolled back into his head as he fell to the ground, his body crumpling into a motionless lump.  Kanna actually became paler, as impossible as the concept seemed.  Jaken made a sound of shock.  Sesshoumaru calmly sheathed his sword just as Rin cried out and fell over in a dead faint.

Sesshoumaru caught her before she hit the ground.

*****

The End (Of Part 9, That Is)

And Ayako, of course you can write a fic with that pairing.  You have my blessings, and Jade's as well. (check out her stuff, there's total Kouga favoritism)


	10. Lord

Well, some of you knew exactly what was going on in the last chapter, but to those who didn't, it's okay.  Soon enough, all shall be made clear to you.  But for now, what will happen to Kanna?  Has Sesshoumaru deemed her totally unworthy of his interest or is he just creeped out by her?  Will Jaken's babysitting responsibilities soon be expanded?  Would Sesshoumaru really trust a Naraku extension to be his precious Rin's playmate?  What's going on with everyone else?  Are Kouga and Inuyasha reaching the point of no return animosity where the only solution is a no-holds-barred match to the death for Kagome's affection?  Is Kagome really _that_ hot?  I don't really know if she is, but while beauty is fading and untrue…

*****

Something is Real

Part 10

*****

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin sobbed, her hands over her face as she shook her head in denial of what she had just witnessed.  "Why!?  Kohaku was my _friend_!"

"Sesshoumaru-sama was protecting you!" Jaken exclaimed, his enthusiasm a poor cover for his confusion.  Why _would_ Sesshoumaru kill the boy after Rin had pleaded for him to spare the wretch's life?  Jaken had thought his stoic master's sole weakness was his affection and indulgence for the sweet little girl that adored him so clearly.  No wish was too great, no hope too impossible if it was coming from Rin.  Why had he cut the boy in two as though he cared nothing for her opinion on the matter?  Even Jaken felt bad, watching her cry so pitifully, her heart smashed by Sesshoumaru's thoughtless action.

More importantly, why couldn't Jaken see a wound on the fallen boy?  And…was he moving?

"Jaken-sama!  Tell Sesshoumaru-sama that he's mean!" Rin's tear-streaked face obstructed his view, and the toad blinked at her in surprise.  "Tell him friends aren't for killing!"

"Rin, calm yourself." Sesshoumaru had sheathed his sword and turned to address his disillusioned retainer, who only began crying harder at his words.  This seemed to worry the normally aloof youkai, and he took two steps toward her, paused as he fought some internal battle before placing his only hand on her dark head of hair.  This unprompted contact had two immediate results.  Jaken gasped in shock and jealousy at the obvious favoritism Rin was shown.  At the same time, Rin froze in surprise, her tears rolling down red cheeks before she hiccupped slightly and looked up, eyes of brown rimmed in red blinking at her hero in silent wonder.  Sesshoumaru-sama was touching her.

He had touched her before, of course.  Every time she needed rescuing, he would sweep her little body up in one arm and out of harm's way.  As scared as Rin might be in those situations, it instantly calmed her to have him there, and she liked to pretend that the way he held her was much like how her mother had hugged her close back when life had been happy and innocent and full of love.  In those days, Rin never feared that it could end, that death could come, but now she understood death and loss.  She knew what it meant when someone fell down and didn't get back up.  She recognized blood and fear and grief and pain, but while she was vaguely aware that Sesshoumaru-sama killed people and youkai, it seemed like he only ever killed the bad ones, and so he was a hero to her.

But now…Kohaku was on the ground, and Sesshoumaru had put him there.  And he was touching her so nicely with his fingers in her hair like that…and she wasn't even in danger.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin wasn't sure it really was him.  How could it be?

"Look at your friend." His voice was patient and cool, just as it always had been, and Rin was unable to refuse any order from him, even now.  So she turned with no small amount of trepidation.

"Kohaku!" she cried, running to the boy who was just climbing to his feet in time to be knocked down by Rin's overly energetic hug.  "You're okay!"

"I feel…weird." Kohaku didn't bother to struggle out from under Rin, even though he could feel the heat of Sesshoumaru's glare from where he was on the ground.  Next to the icy burning that was tingling all through his body, that feeling wasn't very strange.  And his mind felt as though it was waking up after a very long sleep.  He kept seeing images…flashes of things that he didn't quite understand yet.  "What happened?"

"He cut you!  I thought you'd die!" Rin scrambled to her feet then, helping him up as well while beaming at him in sunny pleasure.  "Does it hurt?"

"No…not at all…" Kohaku had a sudden burst of suspicion and he reached back, prodding the spot where he _should_ have felt the seeping power of the shard…but there was nothing.  "What happened?" he addressed Sesshoumaru this time, despite the glare that the youkai was sending his way.

"Ah!  It was the Tenseiga, wasn't it, Sesshoumaru-sama?" Jaken was very pleased that he had discovered the answer to the riddle, but there was nothing in return for his cleverness except for a slight nod from his master.  "You see, Rin, Sesshoumaru-sama used that sword to save the brat, and you should be thankful."

"But…wasn't he already alive?" Rin frowned slightly, confused.

"No, that shard was keeping me alive." Kohaku told her, pointing to the glinting piece of jewel he had spotted just off the path.  "It also let Naraku control me, so Sesshoumaru fixed it so that I wouldn't be dangerous to you anymore."

"Oooh…" Rin put a finger to her lips as though considering this for a long moment before she hugged Kohaku tightly and giggled.  "I'm glad you're okay!"  Kohaku chuckled nervously.  Sesshoumaru was still glaring at him and it was decidedly frightening.  So he let his eyes wander over to where Kanna was standing right where he had left her.  At first she seemed utterly expressionless, but as he watched, her lips quirked slightly, and he was almost positive…

Kanna was smiling.

----------

"MIROKU!!!" the scream could be heard from quite a distance, causing all the birds to take flight, startling most any animal that heard it.

"OSUWARI!!!" the call that followed was definitely a different voice, but if the volume changed at all, it was only louder.

"I told them." Kouga rolled his eyes as he kept to the relatively safe task of tending the fire while the girls attempted to take their bath nearby.  Only four minutes after they had left, Miroku had started off on a seemingly casual walk, except for the fact that everyone who saw him get up knew exactly what he was intending.  Hakkaku had offered him hooted advice about where he might get better visibility, Kouga had told him to just knock it off, and Inuyasha had growled before following, saying that _he_ wasn't getting in trouble for Miroku's perverted ways.  That had worked out well.  But of course, the nightly drama couldn't end that simply.

"Bitch!  I didn't do _anything_!" Inuyasha was cursing up a storm, and it was soon followed by another male voice.

"What's going on!?" Kouga shook his head as he heard Ginta's voice, his concern totally unappreciated by the women he had just walked in on.

"Get AWAY!!" Ayame's voice joined the others, and Kouga thought he heard a few loud thumps.  It would be interesting to see who came away with the most lumps this time, as it tended to be Miroku.  However, Ginta didn't usually end up walking in on the nightly battle for a private bath time.  And judging from how well he fared in his daily battles with Ayame, he would likely think twice before checking on the screaming girls again.

"Agh!  Get off me!" Ginta was obviously running toward them, and Kouga looked around nervously.  If the girls came to the fire naked, would _he_ get in trouble?  However, Ginta was followed only by a towel-clad Ayame, who was wielding a large piece of wood like a club, batting at him indiscriminately while clutching her clothes in her other arm.

"Ayame, knock it off." Kouga spoke up after she had chased him across the clearing twice.  "He wasn't trying to see you."

"Yeah!  I was just checking!  You guys were screaming!" Ginta called behind him as Ayame slowed down, hesitant to argue with Kouga, but also not wanting to give up her chase.  Finally, she grumbled before leaving momentarily to get dressed.  Kouga raised his eyebrows at Ginta, whose eyes went widely innocent.

"What?" he asked, but just then, they were joined by another pair.

"And the _next_ time I catch you, I'll take away _all_ your ramen privileges!" Kagome was roughly clad, still adjusting her shirt slightly as she stormed into the clearing, followed by an irate Inuyasha.

"I was trying to stop him!" Inuyasha argued, obviously upset at what he felt was a clear injustice.

"Next time stop him _without_ staring at me naked!" Kagome glared at him one last time before plopping down next to Kouga and smiling at him sweetly.  "As you can see, not _every_ guy has to watch us bathing."

"Yeah!  Kouga was keeping the fire going this whole time, and _you_ guys were peeping!" Ayame called from the bushes to Ginta, who was now nursing a bump on his head and pretending he couldn't hear her.

"I didn't peep either." Hakkaku grumbled.

"Yeah, don't worry, they ignore me, too." Shippo nodded solemnly to the other youkai, who snorted slightly at being grouped with a child.

"I don't want to _hear_ it, Houshi!  I know it was you who started it!  You're _always_ the one!" Sango stormed into the clearing with Miroku last, her clothes wrapped around her protectively and a vicious glare aimed at the man offering apologies beside her.  "And you get _everyone_ else in trouble because you don't _care_ if you get smacked as long as you get an eyeful!"

"Sango, I hardly find that your sentiments are fair or well thought out, as you are obviously in a strained frame of mind at the moment." Miroku attempted to pat her shoulder, but she cut him off halfway there and twisted his arm away.  "I think that once you have time to relax in front of the fire, you will feel reasonable and be able to accept the fact that I was just out for a walk when I happened across you ladies."

"You're never _just_ out for a walk!  There's always something you're after."  Sango huffed, sitting down next to Kagome, her back straightened in an attempt at dignity as she crossed her arms.  Ayame reappeared fully clothed and took this as a signal to sit down as well.  She immediately claimed the free spot next to Kouga.  Inuyasha abandoned the scene for a perch on a nearby tree branch, and after some thought, Ginta sat down with Hakkaku and Shippo between him and the still indignant Ayame.  Miroku, having no compunctions about sitting next to the woman who had just beat him severely with an oversized boomerang, lowered himself next to Sango and offered her a winning smile.  Her only response was a snort and a toss of her head.

"Sometimes you have to wonder if it's worth it." Ayame sighed slightly, her eyes sliding toward Kouga to see his reaction.  "We try so hard to stay beautiful and fresh, and does anyone appreciate it?"

"I must say that—" Miroku's half-spoken feelings were cut off by a sharp pinch from the woman next to him.

"You had better not finish whatever it was you were going to say, Houshi-sama." She told him.  "We all know you _appreciate_ our beauty.  We don't want to hear it."

"I was only going to comment on the fact that it is rather impressive that you three women are able to keep yourself so lovely and well-groomed despite the hardships of our journey." Miroku told her, his face seemingly innocent.

"Please don't look at me like that, Houshi-sama.  I hate it when you do that." Sango compressed her lips and turned away, staring intently at the fire as though it were possibly the most fascinating thing in the world.

"You two…" Kagome didn't finish her thought, only rolling her eyes and glancing above them at Inuyasha, who was doing a good job of moping and pretending to want nothing to do with the people conversing below him.  It was probably that ramen threat…she'd have to tell him later that she didn't mean it or he'd be unbearable.

"Sango, please do not speak so formally to me." The monk entreated, "I understand that you are upset about the incident earlier, and so I will make you a promise."

"Really?" Sango's eyes lit up, and she turned to him as though she suddenly had faith in the perverted monk.  Kouga snorted, and he was shocked when Kagome actually elbowed him.  What was _that_ for?

"Yes, I promise that you can watch me any time you wish, and I shall not feel the least bit upset about it." He told her, his face completely straight and his voice utterly serious.  "For I understand that it is only fair that I do you the same favor you have done me."

"How is _that_ a favor?" Sango's face twisted and she edged toward Kagome, who was shooting Miroku a very disappointed look.  Ayame sighed slightly.  It was ridiculously silly, watching two people so hopelessly in love denying it so furtively.  If only Kouga looked at her that way…she almost _hoped_ he would come peep on them during bath time…maybe then she would feel that he cared at _all_.  She tried so hard, and he always seemed too busy with his own thoughts to notice.

"Trust me, Sango, when the night is long and cold, and there is nothing for a man to hold onto, the picture of you in my mind is the greatest favor you could grant." He gave her a lascivious grin and managed to pinch her at the same time, invoking a wrathful slap before Sango stood, brushed off her skirt, and stormed into the darkening woods.

"Well?" Ayame spoke up after a few moments of silence had passed.  Everyone turned to look at her, except for Kouga, who seemed to be intent on the fire.  "Aren't you going after her?"

"Me?" Miroku blinked at her in surprise.  "She is angry, and it would be best for me to leave her alone right now."

"Men are _so_ stupid." Ayame grumbled, and she thought she heard Kagome giggle in agreement.

"I'm not stupid." Shippo pointed out, and Kagome smiled at the little fox youkai as he climbed into her lap.

"You're special, Shippo-chan." Kagome assured him.  "I envy the woman that has the fortune to fall for you.  You're very good and honorable."

"And he never peeps.  And he always knows how to make us feel better." Ayame added.

"Well, he can't help being the cutest." Kagome giggled, cuddling Shippo up to her chest.  "Can you, Shippo-chan?"

"Hey!  Did you hear that, Inuyasha?" Shippo called up to the sulking figure in the tree.  "I'm the cutest!"

"Eat shit, stupid brat." Inuyasha retorted, and Kagome rolled her eyes, shaking her head at Ayame.

"Men really are stupid, aren't they?" she asked, and Ayame was surprised when Kouga didn't argue in the least, still intent on the fire as though nothing else in the world could reach him in that moment.  She wondered what he was thinking about…what he had been so preoccupied with since escaping that cave.  It made Ayame wonder…was there _really_ a girl in that cave with him?  Who was she?  And what about her fascinated Kouga so completely?  It was infuriating.

"At the risk of suffering further insults to my intelligence, I shall take my leave of you sweet ladies for the moment." Miroku rose, adjusting his robe before turning to follow Sango into the forest.  He was only gone for a few seconds before Kagome and Ayame burst into giggles and continued to speak about various things that Inuyasha decided were all very girly.

It didn't take long for Miroku to find Sango, as she was gathering firewood and cursing under her breath.  He cleared his throat after watching her go about her task for a moment, and she looked up at him, her maroon eyes flashing slightly in the pale moonlight that filtered through the forest canopy.  They stared at each other for a while in silence before he stepped toward her.  "I apologize." He lowered his eyes slightly, and she sighed wearily.

"You always apologize.  I have to wonder if you even understand what it means." Sango told him as she brushed past him.

"It means that I wish things were different between us." Miroku's words stopped her as surely as if he had physically restrained her, and so he continued.  "In a different world, we might have met under different circumstances.  Perhaps we could speak more freely in that situation."

"I…don't know what you mean." Sango's voice shook, belying her words.

"I am sorry." He told her, turning, his eyes gentle as he held a hand out to her.  She looked at it, licking her lips and considering what she should do.  What would it mean if she took that hand?  Would she be giving him more than she was prepared to?  Would she be admitting to more than she felt that she could?  Would he expect too much of her?  Would she expect too much of him?  Would it all fall apart?  Would the world be broken inside of her?

"Let's get back." She told him, smiling as though she couldn't see the hurt in his eyes as she headed back toward the camp without taking his hand.

It was better this way.

That's what she had to believe.

Then why did it hurt to see him look so disappointed?

*****

The End (Of Part 10, That Is)


	11. Fire

Oh man, good times last chapter.  But what will happen now?  Will our fearless group(s) of adventurers be able to _not_ stab each other?  Do you think Kikyo still carries that knife that she got Inuyasha with in that episode where he used male hugging trickery technique on her?  Doesn't that seem like a really good stabbing knife?  Do you think maybe it's just for cutting herbs and flowers and stuff, and I just like the idea of stabbing so much that any knife I see is immediately a stabbing knife?  Does it bother you that I have the character's lives in my hands and all I can talk about is stabbing knives?  And sword-chucks…well, those don't exist, but…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 11

*****

"I was thinking." Kagura ventured as she sat across from her silent companion, eating fish while her Shinidamachuu brought her the occasional soul.  "We really need a plan."

"I have a plan." Kikyo told her, voice calm and countenance smooth.  Kagura arched in eyebrow and finished her mouthful before venturing to inquire further.

"For real?  What is it?" She asked, her red eyes glinting in the neatly constructed fire she herself had made.  She liked making things.  It made her feel useful.

"We find Naraku.  We attack.  We die." Kikyo shooed away a final soul carrier, apparently having had her fill.  "I go back to hell.  Do you want to come with me?"

"You are not as funny as you think you are." Kagura grumbled, biting viciously into her fish.

"I'm not being funny, I'm being realistic." Kikyo blinked at her soberly.  "I told you from the beginning what happens to little birds who can't fly away once they've been freed.  Their masters eat their souls."

"You're so melodramatic." Kagura tossed the rest of her fish in the fire, feeling angry and frustrated because she knew it wasn't all that dramatic.  It was as close to the truth as things could get.  They were going after Naraku with no plan, no strategy, no weapons, no hope.  It was ridiculous.

"Do _you_ have a plan?" Kikyo asked after some time.

"I don't know.  Maybe…I think it's just that there is only the two of us, and you'll do a lot more than me since you know…he can kill me really easily.  It isn't going to be very effective." Kagura sighed and bit her lip, staring at the fire.  "If we just had more _people_, then maybe we could come up with something."

"I do not like involving others." Kikyo opined primly.

"Yes, I know that." Kagura rolled her eyes.  "But…you know, there are already a lot of people out to kill Naraku!  We could just go find some and team up with them.  We could help out.  It would be better than this suicide plan we have right now."

Kikyo glared at her silently before getting up and walking away from the clearing.  Kagura rolled her eyes again and then shook her head in frustration with herself.  If she was always challenging Kikyo and saying things like that…maybe the woman wouldn't like her anymore.  Maybe she wouldn't want to be her friend anymore.  And then…Kagura would be alone.  Again.  She didn't think she could handle that at this point, with things already going so poorly.  Biting her lip nervously she got up and went after the pale woman, who was only a short distance from the clearing, looking out at the moon.

"I know where he is." She spoke before Kagura could say anything.  "That is what he does to me.  He chains me so tightly, that no matter how far I go, I can feel him.  I can sense him at almost any time.  He is inexorably tied to my soul.  And yet, what is one to do when one's soul is not one's own anymore?"

"Kikyo?" Kagura didn't really know what to say to Kikyo when she was being mysterious and deep, so she settled for curious silence.

"So.  More people.  I knew that I was making a mistake allowing you along.  And now we are comrades, so I cannot simply refuse you." Kikyo let out a long suffering sigh, "And so I suppose there is nothing for it but to go to the man I love and hate more than any other."

"Um…who?" Kagura was at a loss.  Didn't Kikyo hate Naraku most?  Or was she just being biased?

"Inuyasha." Kikyo turned, her eyes glinting a silver shade of slate in the moonlight, and she headed back toward the fire.  "We shall go in the morning if that is what you wish."

"Wait…um, they hate me." Kagura immediately saw problems with this plan.  "I've tried to kill them on several occasions, and I don't think they'll let me by."

"Kouga forgave you." Kikyo answered, leaving Kagura stricken and pale at the edge of the clearing.

"No…" she managed, feeling sad and lost and foolish.  Why did this bother her so much?

"I will tell you a secret, Kagura." Kikyo spoke up as she sat down next to the fire, getting comfortable as though she honestly needed sleep.  "Men are stupid."

"And?" Kagura was waiting for something a lot more enlightening than _that_.  She had figured that out when she was barely a week old.

"They say stupid things they don't mean.  You must learn to hear the things they do not say." Kikyo told the wind youkai, who took a curious step into the clearing.

"What do you mean?" Kagura wanted to know.  She wanted to hear Kikyo tell her something that would make her heart light.  She wanted to know something real.  And Kikyo was always telling her things like that.  It made Kagura value her friendship all the more.

"I watched you two." Kikyo explained as Kagura sat down next to her, eyes wide and curious as a child's.  "I heard the words, but the eyes told a different story.  He does not hate you so very much, Kagura.  You should allow your heart to hear what your ears cannot."

"I…see." Kagura didn't really understand, but she wanted it to be true.  Kouga didn't hate her?  She wanted that to be true, and yet… "I'll probably never see him again."

"Do not judge so quickly, sweet bird." Kikyo's lips quirked in the barest of smiles.  "The red string of fate has brought so many lives together, and it cannot be snapped as simply as you suggest.  I would not be surprised if the wolf is seen hunting again."

"Do you always have to talk like that?" Kagura asked, dropping her chin into one hand, letting out a long breath in exasperation.

"Like what?" Kikyo blinked at her as though honestly confused, and Kagura felt herself smiling.  It was amazing how someone with seemingly no sense of humor could make her do that so often.  Maybe she was just so happy to not be alone…

"Never mind." Kagura settled herself down for the night and yawned slightly.  "Kikyo?"

"Yes?" the woman wasn't pretending to sleep.  She wouldn't sleep even when Kagura got up for her shift watching out for enemies.  She never slept.

"I hope we win." Kagura offered the solemn woman a bright smile before closing her eyes, not expecting any sort of response even as Kikyo eyed her, blinking in surprise before her face softened and she gave a short nod.

"Me too."

----------

"Please, if I could talk to you for a moment." Kohaku had waited until he was sure that Rin was asleep before approaching her eternally glaring guardian.  "I need to ask a favor."

"I think you are in no place for asking favors of me." Sesshoumaru told the boy, his voice a tad sharper than normal.  He didn't feel well about that boy standing close to his Rin, always smiling and laughing and talking with her and seeming so friendly.  Rin was perfectly happy with Jaken and him and she had no need for throwaway extensions that were shadows of youkai girls and crazy taijiya boys that should be dead.  She only needed him.  And Jaken, that was acceptable as well, he supposed.  Jaken did a fair job of watching out for her when he was indisposed, although he had _obviously_ failed this afternoon.  And as a result, they were now dragging two tagalongs with their party, and while the girl was not nearly as irritating as that damnable noisy boy, he would rather they had both been swallowed by the earth before they had a chance to intrude upon his perfectly constructed world.

"No, it's not something…I don't think you will mind it much." Kohaku was afraid to meet Sesshoumaru's eyes still.  Sesshoumaru noted this with no small amount of satisfaction.  Would it not have been endlessly amusing if he had _accidentally_ slashed the boy in two with his cursed sword instead of Tenseiga.  Well, certainly Rin would have cried, and that was _never_ amusing, but it might have been worth a temporary sadness on her part to be sure that endlessly aggravating boy never came near her again.  And why did he always insist on letting her grab his hand?  Could he not tell her that he was not someone who could care for her in _any_ situation, and therefore if she wanted a hand to hold, Sesshoumaru still had a perfectly good one on his intact arm.  It was much stronger than this stupid _weakling_ human boy's arm.

"What is it?" Tearing his arms off would be exceedingly simple as well as intensely satisfying.  In addition, he would still be alive, and therefore Rin would not have a reason to cry.  Also, she would not hold his hand if he did not _have_ hands.  Also, he would be rendered incapable of accepting the flowers that Rin handed him, so careless of the fact that she had picked _none_ for her lord and master, the great Sesshoumaru.  It was not as if he enjoyed having flowers picked for him.  He was a terrifying youkai lord who could kill hundreds with the careless swipes of his poisoned claws, and he did _not_ care for daisy crowns or wildflower bouquets, but he was still appropriately gracious of her efforts to please him.  He may not thank her with _words_ like that uppity whelp of a castaway tool, but the tilt of his head, acknowledging her fully, was certainly more than enough expression of his thanks.  And he _did_ usually carry the flowers, no matter how undignified it seemed, simply because it was the gracious thing to do.

"I have to leave." Kohaku told him, and Sesshoumaru was momentarily surprised.  However, he had spent so much time hiding his emotions and reactions so completely that the boy had no way of spotting the shock that his words inspired.

"Yes you do." Sesshoumaru decided to pretend that Kohaku was simply smart enough to obey the wishes that the youkai lord had been thinking on all afternoon.  "Is the favor that I spare your life for you to escape and never return?"

"Uh…well, I was thinking you'd throw that one in.  I don't think either of us wants to upset Rin." Kohaku's face softened, and it was obvious even as he stared at the ground.  "She's so innocent…I just wanted you to tell her that I have to find my sister.  Tell her that when I do, I can see her again."

"You think I will allow you to return?  Interesting." Sesshoumaru arched a regal eyebrow the slightest amount, so that he seemed only vaguely intrigued by this irritating thorn in his side.

"She'll miss me." Kohaku insisted.

"You think too highly of yourself, boy." Sesshoumaru retorted.

"You think too highly of…no, I'm sorry." Kohaku was at this point so afraid that he was visibly trembling.  "Never mind."

"Speak freely, boy.  You have no need of bruising my self-image." Sesshoumaru spoke in a tone as snide as it was icy.  "It is clear that you like me as little as I like you, though you owe me your life."

"I do, that is true." Kohaku agreed, calming slightly.  "But that doesn't mean you can be so condescending all the time."

"Boy, you hardly deserve—"

"Not to me, to Rin!" he hissed vehemently, jumping back in shock at his own forcefulness.  "I just…think that if you care so much about her, you should be nicer to her.  She's only a little girl.  Do you understand what it is to be a child and have no one to listen to you?  No one to love you?  Did you even know what happened to her family before she met you?  Did you ever bother to ask?"

"She is my retainer, I have no need of such knowledge." Sesshoumaru insisted haughtily.

"That's the attitude that'll make her leave you.  She can do that, you know.  She adores you, but I could take her away _so_ easily.  She's afraid of you, at least a little.  Doesn't that bother you?" Kohaku wanted to know.

"It is a healthy fear.  I am not someone she could ever stand up against." Sesshoumaru wondered at the sinking in his chest.

"Should she ever _have_ to stand up against you?" Kohaku shook his head.  "She loves you more than anything else, but she'll still leave if you treat her this way.  You need to open your eyes and see the world beyond your own nose."

"You need to mind your own business." Sesshoumaru spoke back.  "Will you leave now, then?"

"Yes.  Kanna's ready.  I just wanted…to tell you." Kohaku shook his head and backed away.  "Remember what I said.  She's a very special girl."  And with a leap, he was gone.  Sesshoumaru's golden gaze fell to a small girl sleeping awkwardly on Ah-Un's saddle, one hand acting as a pillow, her other holding onto he edge in the practiced way that she always kept from falling off while sleeping.  Sighing deeply, he stood and straightened his immaculate clothing.

Rin, leave him.  It was _ludicrous_.  He was her entire world.  Her universe.  And yet…the idea still bothered him.  It still nagged at the back of his head.  It made him nervous and anxious, and it caused strange thoughts to enter his head.  Ideas like picking her up and letting her sleep in his lap, telling her how important she was to him, giving her a kiss on her cute little forehead.  She was his Rin, and he would protect her from all things that might threaten.  And that was more than enough.

She knew that he loved her.

And that had to be enough.

He knew it was enough.

And yet…his heart ached.  He could not lose a child so dear.

He reached forward to pick her up, but stopped halfway and simply patted her head.  That was more than enough to convey his affection.  It bordered on inappropriate, though she was still a child, she was his servant and never allowed to touch him casually.

But were there any rules about him touching her?

Her hair smelled like daisies.  It calmed his heart.

*****

The End (Of Part 11, That Is)

This chapter is dedicated to the totally freaking sweet Kris-chan who drew me a beautiful picture that rules.  I love it!


	12. Star

Pippin!  I love you soooo!  I would marry him if he weren't so obviously in love with dear Merry.  I could never bear to part such happiness.  Well, finally I've returned from winter break and I have a couple weeks of spare time, in which I will be able to write, watch movies and anime, perhaps construct winter clothes for dear Yusho, who is very displeased with the recent temperature drop, and also, write some more.  So the truth of the matter is that I took advantage of my time at home to go back to what I like to call the old school method of a black pen and a notebook which is clearly falling apart, so I should be able to get chapters of at least THIS story out with relative ease.  Ah, perhaps I spend too much time on pursuits that others would call pointless, trivial, and even empty.  However, life is passing, and I say that while we can, we should always try to do what makes us happy.  I don't know if there's much of a point to this except the entertainment of myself and those that might read it, but however empty it may seem to others, I know, and you know that…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 12

*****

Kouga's day was not going well.

It had started out normally enough, with the sounds of argument.  Sounds that he was quickly learning to ignore.  However accustomed he had become to such things, though, the mad screaming of an angry taijiya wielding a huge boomerang and chasing a perverted monk through the camp site was still able to wake him up.

This did not bother Kouga.  It was normal.

After a sullen breakfast which consisted of much glaring and wound-nursing from the aforementioned alarm clocks over some nicely made soup courtesy of Kagome and Ayame's culinary efforts, Kouga went for a quick swim in the nearby river to wash off a bit of traveling dust despite the fact that Ayame would not let him alone _even_ for that.

That did not bother Kouga either.  It was to be expected.

Later, his semi-private bath was cut short by the need to mediate a fight between Ginta and Ayame at exactly the same time that Kagome stormed by, screaming at Inuyasha for tearing up a textbook to use as kindling and pausing only long enough to say that they needed to get moving.

Kouga did not mind.  At least Inuyasha was making Kagome angry.  Again.  That was certainly satisfying in it's own right.

After that, traveling should have been relatively peaceful.  Most days, trouble was caused between Sango and Miroku, Inuyasha and Kagome, or Ginta and Ayame.  But since they had already fought in the morning, Kouga had hoped it would mean more moving and less arguing.  The prospect was so nice that he ignored every snide and stupid comment Inuyasha made in the interest of keeping the peace.  But then Kagome gave Shippo a box of sweet sticks, and Inuyasha promptly stole them.  Peace was destroyed.  They had to stop for nearly an hour.

Kouga was annoyed, but he took it all in stride.  He prided himself on patience.

Later, they stopped for lunch.  It should have taken little more than half an hour, but between Shippo and Inuyasha's raging argument over the last pork ramen and the unfortunate episode of Kagome leaning over in Miroku's grabbing range, which had ended with the monk being pummeled by Sango, Kagome, and Inuyasha, it was nearly dark by the time they were able to move again.

Kouga tried not to let this bother him, even though he desperately wanted to pummel Miroku as well.

But after only an hour of travel, they were stopped.  Again.  This time, the interference was slightly…unexpected.  And now, there was some sort of executive council meeting taking place, and he was _not_ feeling included.  Well, he was _there_, but he just…couldn't concentrate on the issue.

"But how can you be _sure_ she's on your side?" Sango indicated the red-eyed youkai sitting primly beside Kouga.

"If Kikyo says so, it's true."  Inuyasha justified the assertions of the dead miko beside Kagura.

"I assure you, Kagura has no love for Naraku." Kikyo spoke up, her eyes as cold as ever.  "If anything, she has more hate for him than many of us gathered here.  He is not a man who inspires loyalty.  Especially not after he has condemned her to death."

"Why would Naraku betray his own follower?" Miroku asked.  "It is not as though he has a surplus of such things."

"Indeed, no." Kagura snorted.  "I suppose he didn't like it when I tricked him in an attempt to have _you_ kill him.  Again.  Sadly, you guys fell through.  Again.  So I was…ah, well, there was some trouble for me, but I'm here now, and that's all history."

"She could have left this all behind." Kikyo explained.

"But I won't be free until Naraku's dead."  Kagura added.  "And I knew Kikyo and I would need help."

"I think it's a good plan." Kagome surmised after a long silence.  "We'll all be better off if we work together.  And I know that even though we may never be friends," she glanced at Kouga and Kagura, "we can at least be allies."

"Speak for yourself." Ayame grumbled.  "There's no _way_ wolves can side with…_her_." She pointed at Kagura angrily.  "She killed our kin."

"We swore vengeance!" Ginta added, seeming slightly hesitant to side with Ayame.

"And we don't _need_ help from _her_, right Kouga?"  Hakkaku asked, ducking his head and peering at his leader.  Ginta nodded sharply, somewhat reassured as to the validity of his stand now that Hakkaku was agreeing with him, but Kouga remained silent.  He turned a measuring look on Kagura, who seemed to dislike his scrutiny.

"I can understand." She managed, sounding much softer and less confident than before.  "What I did was unforgivable."

"Kagura, please do not start this again." Kikyo ordered her companion in a weary tone.

"But really, to fight together effectively we must be able to trust each other.  These wolves won't fight with me, and I'll only make the team weak by interfering."  Kagura surmised, and Kouga blinked at her in surprise.  She seemed so thoughtful now.  All the time with Kikyo must have caused the change.

"I don't really wanna fight next to you, either." Inuyasha spoke up, his voice as harsh and rude as ever.  "But I trust Kikyo, and she trusts you.  So that's enough for me."

"Inuyasha…" Kagome was smiling in soft approval of his statement.

"Fine." Kouga spoke up at last.  "But if you betray us, I'll be the first to rip your throat out."

"I assumed as much." Kagura told him before she stood gracefully.  "Now, we've settled that, so let's eat.  I'm utterly famished."

"I'll cook!" Kagome volunteered, and Sango agreed to help her.  Miroku offered his assistance as well, but it did not last long before he had been sent to collect firewood instead, his cheek red and his plans foiled once again.

Kouga was supposed to gather firewood as well, but he soon enough spotted a familiar figure trailing behind him, and he spent much more effort avoiding Ayame than looking for wood.  No matter how he tried to escape her, though, he ended up sitting right between Ginta and her at dinner that evening.

"Kouga, is this really okay?" she asked him in a hushed voice.  "I mean…Kagura."

"Yeah, I thought you wanted her dead more than anyone else." Ginta reminded him.

"That's _Naraku_." Kouga hissed angrily.  "He's the one we've been after all this time, remember?"

"But you said—" Hakkaku interjected, but an angry Kouga cut him off loud enough for everyone to hear.

"I don't _care_ what I said _then_!  Right _now_ I'm saying she's our ally, so get used to it!"  Kouga stood up and tossed away a crust of bread in frustration before storming out of the clearing.

Ayame immediately leapt up to follow him, but Hakkaku stopped her, shaking his head slowly.  "Just let him go."  The wolf was speaking in a low voice, but it was clearly a plea.  "He gets like that sometimes."

"Sounds like someone needs a fucking nap." Inuyasha opined from where he was waiting for Kagome to hand him a second serving of dinner.

"Be nice, Inuyasha, he's just…having a hard time."  Kagome told the hanyou, her glance drifting to Kagura, who seemed to be utterly absorbed in eating her food, as though nothing untoward had just happened.  But Kagome couldn't help wondering, would this ever work?  Such a group…could they ever learn to trust each other?

If she could trust Kikyo, couldn't Kouga learn to trust Kagura?  It was something to hope for.

Kagome had a lot of hope.  It was what she was good at.

----------

Kouga was resting.  After a day like he had just been through, he _deserved_ a break.  But he was sure that Ayame would not let him be at peace for very long, so he was hiding.  Sort of.  He had climbed a tree to rest in the high branches as he had often seen Inuyasha do.

Of course, he would _never_ admit to getting an idea of any sort from that idiot dog, but it was surprisingly relaxing once the wolf in him stopped protesting at the lack of earth under his feet.  Kouga had long since learned how to ignore his instincts and still have them present in times when he needed them.  Like during battle.

Or like at that moment, when he could smell an intruder approaching from the forest floor, walking straight toward the tree he was perched in as if they could sense him as easily as he could them.  Taking a deep breath and turning away from the night sky, he immediately identified his visitor as the much-debated wind youkai herself.  Kouga couldn't decide whether he wanted to see her or not, so he shifted to a crouching perch on his branch, ready to spring away the instant he wanted to.  He wondered if she knew he was there or if her path was simply coincidental.

His question was answered when Kagura vaulted into the air with no warning, flipping over as she flew closer to him, swinging over a branch about halfway up a neighboring tree, pushing off the trunk with a smooth spin of limbs, and landing gracefully beside him with a final flip and a flourish of her fan.

"Yo," was all she said, red eyes glinting with amusement at his slightly open-mouthed expression.  He realized how foolish he must look and snorted, settling back against the thick trunk of the tree he had spent about two hours in.

"Show off."  He replied, crossing his arms over his chest in consternation.  "What do you want?"

"I was just out for a walk." She told him, sitting smoothly so that her bare feet dangled off the side of the branch, which was still quivering slightly from her landing.  "Mind if I join you?"

"Whatever." Kouga managed what he felt was a reasonably eloquent reply for the uncomfortable situation presented to him.  Kagura didn't say anything for a long while, propping her hands on either side of her so that she could take in the stars without falling off the back of Kouga's branch.  Kouga felt calm, sitting next to her quietly.  And that seemed odd to him.

It bothered him that his instincts weren't sending him warnings.  It seemed strange, and thinking about it only made him nervous.  So he broke the silence.

""They don't know." Kouga realized that Kagura probably didn't know what he was talking about, so he elaborated slightly.  "The others, about what happened.  The cave, you know.  I mean…they knew I was trapped."

"But not with anyone?"  Kagura arched an eyebrow, not even turning to look at Kouga as she spoke.  "I know.  I didn't really think you _would_ tell them.  How could you?"

"I mean, what's to tell?" Kouga sighed and pursed his lips.  "I didn't think there was a point, really.  Them knowing we were there together…it'd just…there'd be questions, I know.  Stupid questions."

"I don't mind." Kagura turned then, her lips quirking slightly as though she saw something funny but did not want him to know.  "I won't say anything.  Don't worry."

"Like I care." Kouga attempted a careless tone, but he came across sounding annoyed.  "So, what happened?"

"Excuse me?" Kagura blinked in confusion.

"The barrier.  Did Kikyo break it?" he asked.  The question had been pushed aside for some time, as he had no way to know the answer, but with Kagura back, it bothered him once more.

"Yeah.  I impressed her, or so she said." Kagura smiled faintly before continuing.  "Sorry I left like that.  But I thought that it was best for both of us." Kouga didn't say anything, only frowning at her slightly before she went on.  "I mean, you probably didn't want me around."

"Don't.  It isn't you." Kouga told her, stretching his arms up over his head.  "I know we've had issues, but if this is going to work, we'll need to forget all that."

"I know." Kagura sighed and turned back to the sky.  "So, can you trust me?" There was a long silence, and she thought he wouldn't answer her at all, or that he didn't want to.  But he broke the pause after a while.

"I already do." He told her, and she turned to him so quickly that she overbalanced and almost fell.  Had he really said that?  "But I meant what I said before.  If you betray me…"

"I won't." she assured him.  "It's hard enough finding friends without betraying my allies." She stood, and after a light leap, disappeared below the canopy of leaves.  Kouga sat back and stared at the stars.

Somehow, they didn't seem as bright anymore.

*****

The End (Of Part 12, That Is)


	13. Guardian

Gonna get cramps in my hands and aches in my head from typing too much…but I must continue!  Ever onward, Teresa!  The readers must know what will happen!  Will Kouga end up having to rip out Kagura's throat, as he so charmingly put it, or will she be as good as her word?  Will Kagura skip out on chores much as she did with Naraku?  Will Kikyo threaten to stab her if she's lazy?  Will the new episode of Inuyasha _ever_ download?  It's sometimes hard for me to remember what has really happened in the show and what I've only read or written, and it all blurs together at about three in the morning, when everything seems slightly hazy, but you have to know, always remember…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 13

*****

"Shush, don't be loud, Ah-Un." Rin whispered, patting one of the large youkai's heads.  "I need a favor." The animal blinked at her, snorting and snuffling in quiet consideration before dipping its heads in acquiescence.  Rin smiled so brightly that her eyes were forced shut by her cheeks.  "Come on then.  We can't wake anyone up." Rin would be upset if she were caught trying to sneak away again.  Jaken would surely tell Sesshoumaru this time, and she hated to disobey him.  So if he never _forbid_ her from leaving to find Kohaku, it was all okay.

At least, that was what logic told her.  And that was what made her limit her escape attempts to nights when Sesshoumaru left her under Jaken's care.  With only one sleeping caretaker, she had a much better chance of getting away unnoticed.  And she _had_ to find Kohaku.  He was her friend, and he had Kanna with him, and she was a friend as well, even if she was really quiet.  They probably wouldn't be that far away, and Ah-Un could definitely sniff them out.  She explained all of this to the two-headed beast once they had put a good distance between Jaken and themselves.

"Can you help me, Ah-Un?" Rin knew that he _could_ help, but she was being polite, letting him make the choice.  Ah-Un was her friend too, and she cared for all of her friends.  She could remember the time after the bad men killed her family and before she met Sesshoumaru-sama.  That time had been lonely and cold, and it taught her to value all the friendships she made.  That was why she had to find Kohaku.

Ah-Un gave a rumble in acceptance of his mission, and Rin hugged one of his great necks in joy before climbing on his back so that they might move along faster.  Ah-Un leapt to the air to head back to the last place they'd both seen the boy in question, and Rin smiled once more, trying not to worry about what Sesshoumaru would think.

----------

"Jaken." Sesshoumaru stood to one side of the dead fire he had left his retainers to sleep around.  Only one was still there.  He wanted answers, and he wanted them immediately.  Pulling his foot back, he kicked the snoozing toad sharply, effectively waking him up.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!  I don't—what's going on?" Jaken looked around at the empty clearing with a growing sense of dread.

"I had hoped that you might tell me that." Sesshoumaru tried to bite back on the panic and anger that was seeping through him at that moment.  His Rin was gone.  She was missing.  Again.  And people would die for it.  Again.  "I left you to watch over Rin.  You _are_ aware that she is only a human child, are you not?  She needs constant protection."

"I…I know that, Sesshoumaru-sama." Jaken felt that his life was suddenly in jeopardy.  "And I have always watched over her while you had to be gone."

"Then where _is_ she?" the demand in his tone was stronger than he had intended, and it made Jaken leap back with a startled cry of fright.

"I am sorry!  I told her not to do it, that you would be angry, but I can't _always_ watch her.  I have to sleep, too!  She has been plotting ever since he left, there was nothing I could have done." Jaken was nearly begging for his life, trembling in fear as Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes in question.

"Speak clearly and plainly, Jaken." The lord commanded.  "Excuses will not avail you."

"I'm sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama.  Ever since Kohaku left here as you surely commanded, Rin has been wishing to find him." Jaken bowed his head.  He didn't like the feel of Sesshoumaru's glare burning into him.  And he definitely did not want to face it.

"Rin ran away." He simplified Jaken's explanation, anger seething through his voice clearly.  "And you let her."

"I never would, Sesshoumaru-sama!  This would be her fourth attempt." Jaken tried again, but Sesshoumaru did not seem to care for his explanations.

"It seems more like a success than an attempt, does it not?" Sesshoumaru was never snide.  Jaken whimpered in fear.  "Why did you not tell me of this?"

"I didn't want to trouble you, my most honorable lord!" Jaken felt like crying.  He wondered if it would save his neck.  He wondered if _anything_ could save him now.

"Very thoughtful, Jaken." Sesshoumaru hissed.  "And because of your care, she is gone."

"Ah-Un should have stopped her!" Jaken cast about for a scapegoat.  "Instead, he's carried her off!"  
  


"Yes, he should have refused her." Jaken's relief was short-lived as the youkai lord went on.  "That way, she would wander off on her own, utterly defenseless.  You know as well as I do that Ah-Un would take Rin to the ends of the earth if she wanted to go there, rather than let her off by herself.  At least _one_ of you are an adequate protector in my absence."

"Would you have _me_ follow her?" Jaken asked, eyes bulging in worry.  He had never honestly thought that Sesshoumaru would kill him.  But at _that_ moment, he sounded as though he desperately wanted to kill anything and everything he could blame for Rin's disappearance.  And at that moment, Jaken seemed to top the list.

"I would have you notify me of such matters of importance." Sesshoumaru's voice was cold steel.  Jaken decided it was time for the last resort argument.

"But Sesshoumaru-sama, why should it be so important?  Rin is a liability, retainer or not.  Only look at what has happened this morning.  What use does she serve except as a weakness?  She is useless in battle, offers an easy target to your enemies, and constantly undermines your authority." Jaken felt that maybe, just maybe, Sesshoumaru would listen to his words and finally realize how ridiculous this whole business was.  That or he'd cut him into pieces.  "If you will forgive me for saying so, Sesshoumaru-sama."

And there it was, the sound of a sword being unsheathed.  Before he had time to protest, Jaken was sliced to pieces, twitching on the ground as the initial shock wore off and he realized it had been the healing sword.

"Get up, Jaken." Sesshoumaru sounded cold, weary, and beyond anger.  "We must retrieve her."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken pulled himself together quickly.  He had been lucky this morning.  In the future, it might not be that way.

----------

Sango carefully cleaned the roots Kagome wanted to use for the rabbit stew they would make for dinner that night.  Her friend was back at the campsite, skinning the rabbits that Hakkaku and Ginta had caught and proudly carried around for nearly twenty minutes before relinquishing their prizes.  Sango had left Kagome skinning one rabbit as Kikyo instructed Kagura on the preparation of the second one and discussed the best herbs to be used to compliment the meat's natural flavor with Kagome.

"It is strange, do you not think so, Sango?" Miroku's voice caused her to whirl in surprise.

"I thought you were looking for firewood, Houshi-sama." Sango spoke, suspicion easily detected in her voice.  Ever since the cooking incident almost a week ago, Miroku's dinner responsibilities were limited to firewood gathering.

"And look how destiny has placed suitable wood so close to the river, bringing us together in spite of our separate chores." Miroku told her, and Sango pursed her lips.  When he was poetic, it usually meant he was going to grope her.  Actually, with Miroku, he was nearly _always_ going to grope her.  Or any other female, for that matter.  He had already asked Kikyo and Kagura to bear his children as a sort of welcoming gesture.  The first had led to an attack from Inuyasha, and the second had led to a rather painful close encounter with Kagura's wind blades.  Because of that, he seemed to think twice before groping either woman.  "I was only noting how our group of travelers has grown, and yet one thing has yet to change."

"What's that, Houshi-sama?" Sango asked, scooping up the clean roots so she could focus her attention on avoiding Miroku's hands.

"You are still my most beautiful companion, of course." He told her, utterly straight-faced.  Sango flushed slightly before shaking her head sharply.

"Whatever you want, the answer is no." she told him in annoyance at his behavior and at her own wavering heart.  Miroku wasn't sincere.  He never _would_ be.  He had proven that time and time again.

"Sango," the way he said her name, like he was caressing it with his voice, made her knees feel weak, and she stumbled toward him.  He caught her arms in both of his notorious hands, and she felt her mouth go dry and her mind go utterly blank.  "Do you remember, I once asked you to bear my children, and you said yes."

"I…" Sango was having a hard time speaking.  She wanted to tell him that she had foolishly believed that if she agreed, he would leave other women alone, but since he was completely unfaithful, she owed him nothing at all.  She wanted to tell him to stop holding her arms so desperately, to stop looking at her as though she was the only woman in the world.  Or maybe just in his world.

"I disappoint you, I know." Miroku told her, his voice quiet and breathless.  "I make you worry that your decision meant nothing to me.  I want you to know that is not true.  It means everything."

"Liar." Sango couldn't help it.  It was the only word that would come, and it was as close as she could come to expressing how she felt at that moment when they stood so close she was suffocating in his scent.

"I am sorry, Sango.  I should never have given you reason to doubt.  And so I will make you a deal." Miroku's eyes were soft, a purple so dark they seemed black in the failing light.  "I will never treat other women inappropriately, if you will promise me to do something in return."

"What?" Sango was sure she could guess.  It would definitely be something perverted.  He seemed so sincere at the moment, but it always had to end with a slap.  She wondered if his cheek stung as sharply as her heart every time he teased her like that.

"Only that when you address me, use my name."  The demand took a few moments for Sango to compute.  Say his name?  That was it?  Surely he was teasing her.  "Please, promise me that."

"Why should that matter so much?" she breathed, her fingers trembling at her sides.  "If you already got my consent…"

"Sango, dear," Miroku let one arm go, his hand drifting up to her face.  He tilted his head slightly as he traced her jaw line with two fingers, Sango's lips parting as she exhaled shakily.  "I would hate for you to mistake me.  I could never force you to do anything against your will.  If you told me you had changed your mind, I would leave you be, though my heart would always remain with you.  And if you would but give me a few kind words…some hope that you feel as strongly as I do now, then I would call down the very stars from the heavens if that was what you wanted from me."

"Miroku," Sango's breath caught as his fingers tilted her chin, drawing her face toward his.  Slowly, her heart fluttered as they moved closer together, so slowly it felt as though time had stopped and the world around them was slowly blurring at the edges, fading, paling, focusing on that one point that seemed the center of her vision, her attention, and her world.  Miroku.  He was going to kiss her.  And she wouldn't stop him.  She didn't _want_ to stop him.

"Sango!" Kagome's voice broke through the moment, and Miroku let her go, a small, disappointed smile on his lips as he turned his attention to the bug-eyed girl tumbling out of the bushes and nearly landing on the other woman.  "Sango, you won't believe it!"

"I…already don't." Sango was a bit lost on how she'd gone from in Miroku's arms to holding up an over-excited Kagome.

"Come on, wait till you see who it is!"  Kagome recovered her balance and pulled Sango toward the campsite so vigorously that she almost knocked the taijiya over.  Miroku pursed his lips and started picking up the roots Sango had dropped.  At least she'd said his name.  So softly, so passionately.  It had been…so close.

"Another day." He sighed sadly before walking after Sango and Kagome.  "Another day."

*****

The End (Of Part 13, That Is)

As an added note to all those concerned, yes, the episode finished downloading.  Obviously, writing solves all problems.


	14. Phobia

Before we start, I just wanna point out that this chapter skips back to a point _before_ where the last chapter ended.  I figured you'd all be able to tell at least by the end, but I was hoping to not get reviews that asked "Okay, so…is the beginning happening before all that other stuff in chapter 13?  Cause…I was confused."  I've learned that as much as I'd like to _believe_ all my readers will understand what's going on this far into the story, expectations are always dashed on a leap of faith.  And really, Gossamer Dreams is my "I'm not explaining _anything_, so HA!" story.  But back to our regularly scheduled intro.  Sorry to slow you down.  Continue into the depths of not-so-murky doom that is this story.  What's going on that's got Kagome so worked up?  Maybe it's all a dream, but you know…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 14

*****

"This is disgusting." Kagura scrunched her nose up primly as she flayed the dead rabbit under Kikyo's watchful gaze.  "I'm getting rabbit fur stuck to my bloody hands."

"That might warrant a little more sympathy if I hadn't ever witnessed your dance of the dead."  Kikyo sighed slightly.  Kagura complained more than any other person she'd ever known.  It certainly tried one's patience.

"That's different.  I don't have to _touch_ them when I'm doing that." Kagura explained as though the distinction were utterly obvious.

"Is Kagura trying to get out of helping?"  Kouga asked, his tone teasing, but utterly civil.  Kagome wondered at the lack of friction caused by Kagura's presence, but it was something that made the large group more manageable, so she didn't bother asking Kouga about it lest the delicate balance be upset.  So she just cut up her rabbit and pretended that everything was normal and utterly predictable.  After three years with Inuyasha, it wasn't a hard thing to pretend.  "Don't listen to it.  She _loves_ to fake her way out of work."

"Don't start." Kagura pointed her skinning knife at him menacingly.  "Aren't _you_ supposed to be getting wood?"

"I got some." Kouga indicated a pile near the fire that all three women were gathered around.  "Ayame, Miroku, and Inuyasha are getting some too.  We only need so much."

"Sounds like an excuse to be lazy." Kagura sliced a piece of bloody fur off of what she had flayed already and flung it at Kouga with a toothy smile.  "Have a snack while you're at it." Kouga jumped back, and the bloody mass landed right on top of his head, causing Kagura to laugh and Kouga to fume.

"Nasty shit in my hair…I'm gonna stink if I don't wash this out."  He growled at her just as Inuyasha approached, depositing his own wood on top of Kouga's pile.

"And that's different, how?" the hanyou asked, his lip curled back in a sneer.

"Shut up, dog shit." Kouga grumbled, utterly bored with the daily Inuyasha banter. It never really varied.  Someone smelled bad.  Someone was stupid.  Someone was annoying.  We should all kill that someone.  Yes, pretty redundant.

"You're such a stupid…" Inuyasha paused, sniffing the air experimentally.  "Kagome?"

"You _cannot_ have any yet.  I am not watching you eat raw meat again." She answered without looking up as she dropped a double handful of meat in the pot.  "Wait and I'll let you gnaw on the bones."

"No, not _that_." Inuyasha waved a hand in annoyed dismissal.  "Can you sense a shard close by?  Coming toward us?"  Kagome concentrated for a long moment before answering.

"No, nothing at all." She told him as everyone watched her for an answer, with the exception of Kikyo, who nodded her agreement before tossing the mortar full of herbs she'd just ground up into the stew pot.

"Oh, never mind then."  Inuyasha shrugged as Kagome handed him a pair of nearly stripped leg bones.

"Kagome onee-chan!  Can't we have one, too?" Ginta and Hakkaku swept down like begging puppies, and she set about stripping more of her rabbit's remains for them.

"Never mind what, Inuyasha?  Do you smell something weird?"  Kagome did not like ignoring smells that bothered Inuyasha.  Doing that usually ended badly for everyone.

"I thought it smelled like…" Inuyasha smelled the air again and stiffened.  "It still…it smells like Kohaku."  And with that, he raced out of the clearing, leaving behind his puzzled companions.

"Kohaku?" Kagome's brow furrowed in concentration.  "But…he has a shard.  I can't sense _anything_."

"Whatever.  Kagura, finish that rabbit or I'll let Kouga rub that fur scrap in _your_ hair." Kikyo stirred the stew, wafting the smell toward her nose and sniffing critically.

"Fine, mom." Kagura grumbled as she tried to ignore that itch at the back of her mind.  _Something_ was coming, that was obvious.  It was familiar, too.  Could it be Kohaku?  But that was impossible without the shard.  Wasn't it?

"Idiot." Kikyo's annoyed voice brought Kagura back to reality, and she looked up at the other woman, who was in turn looking down.  Kagome and Kouga were also looking in that direction, so Kagura let her eyes drop to the rabbit and the knife.  The blade was firmly buried in the palm of her left hand, and now that she _saw_ it, she realized that her hand hurt.  A lot.

"You have to watch what you're doing." Kikyo stood and walked over to Kagome's bag, pulling out the constantly stocked first aid kit.  "Come here before you cut your hand off."

"Should…I pull it out?" Kagura did not like pain.  She also did not like blood.  It was nasty, sticky, and it stained horribly.  She could handle blood from _others_, but she really did not like seeing her own blood.  It was tied with her dislike of pain.

"Are you okay?  You look pale." Kagome put a hand on Kagura's shoulder and noticed the other girl was shaking slightly.  "Kagura?"

"Looks like she'll pass out." Kouga chuckled, not serious at all until he got a better look at her.  "Fuck, you look like shit right now."

"I don't really…like blood." She smiled weakly at Kagome.  "Pretty stupid, huh?"

"Kikyo, I think she's gonna puke or something." Kagome addressed the other woman, who handed the kit to Kouga and sighed wearily.

"I cannot believe that _you_, of all people, have a blood phobia." Kikyo sat next to Kagura, who was staring at her hand with goggled eyes.  "First thing you need to do is to look at me.  Kagura, stop looking at your hand.  If I get vomit on my clothes, you will be spending your evening cleaning them." Kagura looked up at Kikyo, her face pale and her eyes wide.  "Next, stop thinking about it.  Argue with Kouga or something."

"How's _that_ going to help?" Kouga demanded, his face screwed up in anxious irritation.  "Are you gonna pull that out?" He was still staring at Kagura's hand in morbid fascination.

"That's not helping, stupid." Kagura hissed at him.

"Well look, it's pretty deep.  You can see muscle and stuff.  Now your hand's gonna be all fucked up." Kouga told her, pointing at her hand.

"Ugh…is it really that bad?" Kagura felt a bit dizzy.

"Why is there so much blood?  Did she hit a vein?" Kagome asked Kikyo as Shippo, with an armload of firewood (about ten sticks in total) approached.

"You guys got dinner ready—whoa!  What did you _do_ to your hand?" he ran over to investigate Kagura's wound.  "You guys gonna just leave that knife in there like that?"

"No, I will pull it out once she calms down." Kikyo explained to the little fox.

"Why's she so…" Shippo's nose scrunched up curiously.

"Kagura's afraid of blood." Kagome explained as she pulled the small youkai toward her so that Kikyo could work.

"That's pretty weird.  I thought all those wolves looked a lot worse when she finished with _them_." Shippo speculated as Kagura noted a sudden difficulty breathing.  She could feel blood dripping down her arm.  Lots of it.

"Just her _own_ blood." Kikyo clarified.  And at that moment, Kagura's eyes fluttered closed and she slumped forward.  She would have fallen into the fire had Kouga not leapt up and grabbed her around the waist.  "Are you all happy now?"

"Well, she won't fight you if she's out cold." Kouga justified as he stood hunched over, not really sure what to do with the girl he was keeping out of the fire.

"Lay her down, then.  Carefully." Kikyo shook her head in irritation as Kouga released Kagura and she began work on the girl's hand.

"Look what _I_ found." Inuyasha leapt into the clearing, two small forms slung over his shoulders and an extremely satisfied expression on his face.  With no ceremony whatsoever, he dropped both children on the ground so that Kagome could begin praising him and his cleverness.

"Shit, that's Kanna." Kouga left Kagura to get a closer look at the subdued children.

"Kohaku!" Kagome leapt at the boy and glared at Inuyasha.  "You _attacked_ him?"

"I didn't _kill_ him." Inuyasha's expression communicated that _he_ thought this made the situation perfectly all right.  "Or the girl."

"Without even asking what he was after?" Kagome was clearly outraged.  She knelt to take the pulse of both children before speaking again.  "At least they'll be okay."

"How do _you_ know that they aren't here to cause trouble?" Inuyasha wanted to know.  "Kohaku, maybe.  But he's with _her_." He pointed viciously at the pale girl on the ground, but Kouga was already carefully scooping her up and brushing dirt out of her hair.

"Kanna's fine.  We can trust her." He assured the others as he found the small lump on her head where Inuyasha had no doubt hit her.

"How do you know?" Inuyasha asked, still annoyed that he was getting yelled at.

"I just…when I was in that cave, she brought us food." Kouga looked over at his lounging tribe members to see if they'd noticed his statement.  Unfortunately, they had.

"Why would Kanna…"  Inuyasha was pondering the question as Ginta frowned in confusion.

"Then there _was_ someone else in that cave!" Hakkaku exclaimed.  "I _knew_ we weren't just imagining things."

"Kagura was there too." Kouga admitted, surprising most everyone aside from Kikyo and the three unconscious people present.  "Naraku, I guess…I think he wanted us to attack each other or something.  Like killing two birds with one stone."

"But you didn't." Kagome looked at Kouga in careful consideration.  "What happened in there, anyway?  Is that why you two get along now?  Even after…"

"Sometimes you get to trust people." Kouga laid Kanna down next to her sister, whose hand Kikyo was expertly wrapping in bandages.  "Sometimes you don't have any choice."

"You lived with _her_?" Ginta looked rather disgusted at this idea.

"Yeah, I did.  And it made me a lot fucking stronger." Kouga defended himself.  "I _knew_ what Naraku wanted, but I'd be damned if I was gonna be his tool.  Think about it.  Why'd he wanna kill Kagura unless she could help _us_?  He's afraid of her."

"Oh…that actually makes sense." Ginta tapped his lips thoughtfully.

"That's why _I_ make decisions and you just listen to me." Kouga growled at them, every inch the leader he was born to become.

"Kohaku's waking up…I better get Sango." Kagome left just as Kanna and Kagura also slowly came to.  Kouga tried to focus his attention on them, but the way Kikyo was staring at him with that tiny knowing smile on her face was far too disturbing.

*****

The End (Of Part 14, That Is)


	15. Companion

I think I'm getting sick…let's hope I'm just paranoid.  Ah well, sick people can still type, ne?  So it's all good!  Okay, last chapter, that blood phobia thing…if anyone found it really weird, I'm sorry, but I thought it was all kinds of funny cause I'm a weirdo like that.  I'm pretty sure that of the three stories I'm writing, I'll finish this one first, even though it is obviously getting pretty long.  But you know, that's just how I am.  Now then, what new developments will this latest chapter hold?  Will Kagome be forced to construct a chore chart so everyone stops whining about their jobs?  Will Miroku every get to kiss Sango?  Will Kagura stupidly hurt herself again or will she be banned from knife usage because of what happened with the rabbits?  Will she find out what Kouga admitted to everyone?  His honesty was impressive and very brave considering he was risking losing respect from his tribe and maybe having his leadership challenged.  But I think Kouga realizes that his position isn't everything.  It may seem important, but in the next life, it will mean nothing.  It is a passing thing, but he realizes…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 15

*****

"What are you doing?" Kouga approached Kagura, who was gingerly clutching at a bundle of sticks with both hands.

"What's it look like?" Kagura turned, dropping several pieces of wood and pursing her lips in irritation.  "I'm _trying_ to get some firewood.  Just because I'm banned from cooking doesn't mean I'm off the hook for chores."

"Well, you shouldn't be doing it." Kouga grabbed up the sticks she had dropped and tucked them under his arm.  "You're just making a mess."

"Oh, I'll be sure to apologize to the squirrels." Kagura shifted her firewood to one arm and reached to reclaim the sticks that Kouga held, but he caught her wrist with his free hand and twisted until her bound palm was facing upward.  "What are you…"

"How's it feel?" he asked, looking at the grubby gauze pulled over Kagura's cut from the day before.

"Fine." She felt her face heat under his gaze.  Kagura licked her lips as he dropped the sticks he'd been holding so he could unwrap the binding.

"Where's Kanna?" he asked, leading her the short distance to the stream they were camping near.

"I left her with Kohaku and Shippo.  They were fishing with Ginta and Hakkaku." Kagura answered, kneeling next to Kouga and allowing him to rinse her wound.  She was a youkai, so it was of course considerably mended as compared to the day before.  However, Kouga still looked it over before releasing her hand and rinsing out the bandage.  "Kouga?"

"Yeah?" he didn't look up from his task, but he did tilt his head toward Kagura as she spoke.

"I asked Kikyo about what happened…after I had my, er…accident." Kagura coughed, clearly embarrassed about what had taken place.  "She told me what you said.  You didn't have to, you know.  Tell them all that, I mean."

"Course I did.  Couldn't let Inuyasha think the wrong thing about Kanna." Kouga pulled the bandage out of the water and set about wringing it dry.  "You'd throw a fit when you woke up, I knew it."

"Is that why?  To save Kanna?" Kagura asked, watching Kouga's muscles tighten as he wrung out the bandage.

"Sure.  She's your sister." Kouga gave her a brief smile before turning his eyes to her wound, which he began rebinding carefully with the newly cleaned bandage.

"Kouga," Kagura's tone was suddenly sad.  "I am really sorry.  About—"

"Kagura, don't!" Kouga stood up, the wound only halfway bound.  "Don't.  I told you before that I don't want to talk about that anymore."

"You really…never will forgive me." Kagura tugged at the binding halfheartedly, trying to finish wrapping it on her own.  "But you said you trust me.  How can you?"

"I just…do." Kouga growled, slightly to himself in irritation at his own overly obvious emotions before dropping beside her.  "Here, lemme do that." He grabbed her hand with both of his, and though she didn't struggle, she sighed deeply and looked away.  "What's it matter, anyway?"

"I guess it wouldn't matter to you." Kagura pulled her hand away as soon as he released it.  "Think of all the people who trust you.  Think how many trust _me_.  I don't have enough of that to take it for granted."

"Stupid." Kouga stood up and set about picking up more wood.  "You know, if you'd stop feeling sorry for yourself, maybe you could look around and see that the world isn't out to get you."

"Don't be an ass."  Kagura stood as well, scowling deeply.  "You know what _I_ see when I look around?  I see everyone searching for something _I_ don't think actually exists."

"Oh yeah?" Kouga sneered at her, his lip twitching nervously.  "What's that?"

"Something that stays." Kagura told him.  "Something real."

"That's it?" Kouga laughed as Kagura picked up a few large sticks.  "Something real?  The world's full of that sort of thing."

"Really?" Kagura arched a brow in challenge.  "Like what?"

"If you don't believe me, it won't make any difference for me to tell you."  Kouga shrugged and walked toward her.  "I think that everyone _is_ looking for something.  Maybe _you're_ looking for something real."  He stopped right beside her.  "Maybe you just can't trust what you see." He gave her a cheeky smile and walked away, leaving her searching.

----------

"Obviously, a solution has presented itself." Kikyo spoke to those already gathered for dinner.  "I am positive that Kanna's mirror should be able to locate Naraku.  Kagura told me something of its usefulness."

"How can we trust her?" Inuyasha wanted to know.  "She could give a fake location."

"Does Kanna control illusory powers as well?"  Miroku asked, his brow furrowed as he considered Inuyasha's point.

"I understand you have difficulty depending on others." Kikyo nodded toward Inuyasha as two more figures approached with armloads of wood.  "Your trust only goes so deep, Inuyasha.  I can sympathize, but at this point we have no room for doubt."

"Which is precisely why we must be sure." Miroku nodded toward the youkai seating herself next to Kikyo.  "Kagura, we were discussing Kanna's abilities."

"Like being creepy." Inuyasha added, warranting a smack on the back of the head from Kagome.

"We wanted to know if she can create images…illusions of places and people in her mirror." Kagome asked, not even glancing at the hanyou scowling and muttering darkly beside her.

"You mean like so she could lie?" Kagura asked, seeming irate at the concept.  "She wouldn't do that."

"But can she?" Sango asked.  "We just wanted to know."

"Your lack of faith would upset me, but you don't know Kanna very well, and not much of what you _do_ know is in her favor." Kagura shrugged.  "But no, she can't make illusions.  Her mirror only shows the truth."

"So _she_ says." Ayame snorted.  "How can we be sure of _her_ word?" Kouga's eyes narrowed and the gleam in the female wolf's eyes dimmed.

"Ayame, knock it off." He hissed at her authoritatively.  "We've talked about this already."

"I know." She grumbled.  "But it still bothers _me_."

"Then leave." Inuyasha told her in annoyance as Kohaku, Ginta, and Hakkaku entered the camp, each carrying a half dozen fish.  "We don't need some pouty fucking doubter who can't learn to trust one of us for some stupid reason.  You'd just drag us down, and you ain't that great to start with." Ayame's face was red with rage, but it was Ginta who spoke in response to Inuyasha.

"Don't get hard on her." He said, eyes hard and dark. "We've all got plenty of doubt, but we're all going on.  As long as we're willing to fight together, that's the best we can hope for.  We're a sorry looking bunch of losers.  Life's outcasts.  But together, we might just do some damage."

"Good man, Ginta." Miroku nodded politely at the wolf as Sango took his fish to roast, giving half to Kagome.

"Now that we've all gathered, may we discuss strategy?" Kikyo's voice was deceptively patient.

"Kanna's not here." Kouga pointed out.  "Or Shippo."

"Like Shippo ever fucking does anything." Inuyasha grumbled, but they all waited until a few moments later, when three children entered the clearing.

"We found this girl." Shippo immediately began explaining his extra companion.  "Kanna knows her."

"Rin!" Kohaku rose from Sango's side and rushed to the beaming girl.

"Kohaku-kun!  Rin looked so hard to find you." She spoke happily.  "Now I'm hungry."

"Can she eat with us?" Kohaku appealed to the group, while Kagome held a whispered conference with Inuyasha.

"Doesn't she look familiar?" the teenaged girl asked.  Inuyasha only shrugged and sniffed.

"Don't like her smell." He murmured, trying to think what exactly she smelled like that gave him an aversion to a perfectly innocent looking human girl.

"Can Ah-Un eat too?"  Rin was asking, "He carried me the whole way."

"That will not be necessary, Rin." A soothing but hard voice filled the clearing and the little girl suddenly paled.  "You have had enough adventure, and now you will return with me."  As the speaker stepped gracefully into view, Inuyasha felt a growl build in his throat.  Everyone was shocked, but Rin was the first to speak.

"Sesshoumaru-sama."

*****

The End (Of Part 15, That Is)


	16. Circle

Too many Skittles…too much typing…must persevere.  Only like a kabillion more pages in the notebook, Teresa.  You can do it.  Kuma-chan believes in you (Kuma-chan is my little pink stuffed bunny that sits on top of my computer and helps me work.)  I only have two more days before update day, and if I don't finish typing this story stuff out so I can write up the new chapters of Scarlet and Gossamer Dreams, it'll be another fruitless Thursday.  Must…continue…striving onward.  I feel my study crown will help me work, so we'll try that.  Maybe I only imagine that it makes me work better and feel smarter, but even so…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 16

*****

"Come, Rin.  We are leaving." Sesshoumaru simplified his command for the little girl who had gone from white to pink in moments.  "Jaken is retrieving Ah-Un."

"I'm sorry I took him without asking." Rin told the tall youkai lord sheepishly.  "And that I worried Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Very well, you are forgiven.  Now come here." Sesshoumaru was growing very impatient.  And that Kohaku brat was holding her hand.  He really must have a death wish.  "You let go of her.  I should kill you for betraying me after I saved you."

"It was _you_!" Sango rushed forward to confront Sesshoumaru and possibly shield her newly saved brother from any sort of harm.  "He wouldn't say how he got rid of the shard, but it was you, wasn't it?"

"I did not come here to chat.  Rin, come here." Sesshoumaru's patience was wearing thin.

"What do you want?" Inuyasha growled, seemingly wondering whether it was better to stand where he was guarding _just_ Kagome, or if he should stand closer to where he could protect everyone from Sesshoumaru's attack.  He settled for edging slightly forward and setting his hand meaningfully on Tetsusaiga's hilt.  And making a really mean face.  That would definitely get the job done.

"I'm not here for you." Sesshoumaru blinked at him, affecting his usual, bored face.  "Whelp."

"Inuyasha," Kagome was right behind him again, clutching his arm tightly.  "That girl, she's that little girl that travels with Sesshoumaru."

"Well spotted." Kagura couldn't stop the sarcastic words from tumbling out until it was too late.  She felt much better when she saw Kikyo smile slightly out of the corner of her eye.  She wondered momentarily if it should worry her how close Kanna was to Sesshoumaru, but she figured that while he was most definitely dangerous, his anger was directed, and Kanna had nothing to do with it.  Plus, he was just so pretty.

"Rin, come to me now.  It's time to go." Sesshoumaru's eyebrow arched, which was _usually_ more expression than his face ever showed, but it seemed that Rin had a penchant for ignoring the usual and destroying it utterly.

"She doesn't want to!" Kohaku's voice was full of a surprising amount of conviction, and he instantly had everyone's attention.  Especially Sesshoumaru's.  Sango's protective sister alert was suddenly blaring.  She looked back at her brother briefly as she casually hooked her fingers through Hiraikotsu's handle.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru's voice was deadly calm.  Sango's grip tightened until her knuckles were white.  "Come."

"She's not your slave!" Kohaku tightened his hold on Rin's hand.

"You seem brave when your sister is protecting you, brat." Sesshoumaru let his golden eyes bore into Kohaku, who was trembling, but still holding Rin firm.

"Don't even think about it." Sango glared viciously, well aware that her anger was not at all intimidating when compared to Sesshoumaru's.

"I came here for her." Sesshoumaru seemed to be addressing the whole group, though his eyes never left Kohaku.  "I was not expecting difficulties." He cracked his knuckles angrily, and Hakkaku yelped aloud in fright.  Ayame looked over at Ginta and him, standing ready to fight, but looking like all they wanted was to run and hide.  Then she looked back at Sesshoumaru.  Why were they so scared?  This guy was beautiful.  Gorgeous, even.

"Rin?" Kagome was pushing past a disbelieving Inuyasha, her face soft and eager to help.  "Rin, what do _you_ want to do?" the little girl looked up at Kagome's smiling face and blinked slowly, her grey eyes glimmering.  "You can say whatever you want, sweetie."

"I…want to see Kohaku-kun." Rin finally spoke, causing Sesshoumaru to actually scowl.

"Sesshoumaru, I don't think she wants to go with you." Kagome's voice was actually apologetic, and Inuyasha was sure he heard sympathy in her tone as well.  He wasn't sure whether he was angry or impressed at her sincerity.  He decided that the best course of action was to growl at Sesshoumaru and glare.

"Rin wants Sesshoumaru-sama!" the little girl tugged on Kagome's sleeve.

"You have to pick one, Rin." Kagome told her.  There was a long pause.  She looked at Kohaku.  She looked at Sesshoumaru.  She repeated this process.

And promptly burst into tears.

"Rin…don't cry." Kohaku sounded rather helpless, and his words didn't affect the little girl at all.

"It's okay, Rin." Kagome hugged the girl in an attempt at comfort.  "You don't have to pick right away.  How about we have dinner first?  Didn't you say you were hungry?"  Rin choked slightly on her tears, nodding fiercely and scrubbing one hand over her eyes.  Kagome blinked at Sesshoumaru, and the camp fell silent, waiting for his reaction.

"Jaken." At his master's call, the toad stumbled out of the woods, Ah-Un's reins firmly in one hand.  "We will rest here.  Eat, if you wish."

"But Sesshoumaru-sama, your—"

"I _said_," Sesshoumaru interrupted Jaken's protest.  "We will rest here tonight."

"Y…yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Jaken looked rather upset.  Seeing this, Rin broke away from the people surrounding her and gave him a hug.

"Sorry, Jaken-sama!" she was all sunshine and cheer once more.  "I made you worry, but I just had to meet my friends."

"Uh…that's right, don't do that again, Rin." Jaken felt a sudden heat, and he realized that Sesshoumaru was glaring at him again.  He pushed Rin away hastily.

"Okay, now let's eat."  Rin giggled as people stared at her and then began to gather around the fire, her interference not keeping them from the routine they were slowly building amongst themselves.  "Sesshoumaru-sama!" the youkai lord, intent on appearing annoyed and aloof at the same time, didn't realize Rin was pulling at his hand until he heard her voice and looked down at her.  "Come sit next to Rin!"

"I do not eat human food." Sesshoumaru's voice was haughty, and Jaken looked guilty as he bit into the freshly roasted fish Kagome had just served him.

"I know, I just wanna sit with you cause I missed you." Rin explained.  Sesshoumaru felt his eyes go wide and he blinked in an attempt to correct the anomaly.

"I do not associate with humans." He finally managed.  Rin frowned at him for a moment.

"But Sesshoumaru-sama, I'm a human." She told him after some time, as though she wondered whether or not he was aware of this fact.  The youkai lord blinked, and Jaken wondered if Rin had finally gone too far.  Then Sesshoumaru strode forward as proudly as if it had been his original intention, and sat next to Rin, his back kept regally straight as Jaken scrambled to sit on his other side.

"Sango, did you see that?" Kagome leaned over to whisper in her friend's ear.  "He did what she said!  A little girl like that."

"I didn't think he took orders from _anyone_.  Just like his brother.  All it took was a woman."  Sango giggled slightly, garnering Sesshoumaru's scrutiny and immediately blanching.  Kagome noticed this and decided to lighten the atmosphere.

"So, have we all met?" she asked, ready to introduce everyone, but no one spoke up.  "Kikyo, have you met Inuyasha's brother and his friends?"

"Retainers." Sesshoumaru corrected gruffly.

"We have met." Kikyo had made a small pot of tea, and she was offering a cup to Kagura, who was trying to ogle Sesshoumaru while eating her fish and still appear graceful.

"I've had the pleasure as well." Kagura smiled and fluttered her lashes at the unaffected youkai lord.

"I've never met him." Ayame volunteered, and Kagome sighed in relief before turning to Sesshoumaru, who appeared thoroughly disinterested.

"Ayame is the leader of the northern wolf youkai tribe." She explained to the man, who was intent on keeping Rin's greasy, fish covered hands away from his silk sleeves.  "Ayame, Sesshoumaru is Inuyasha's half brother, lord of the western lands.  And these two are his followers, Rin and Jaken."

"Rin, please behave yourself." Sesshoumaru snatched her hand in his and replaced it in her lap.  "Go wash your hands."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama!" She sprung up and ran off.  Sesshoumaru nodded at Jaken, who immediately stood to follow her.

"So then," Kagome tried again at conversation.  "What have you been doing lately, Sesshoumaru?"

"It is hardly your concern." Sesshoumaru told her flatly.  "However, I have been tracking Naraku."

"Oh!  Well, that's what we're doing as well." Kagome brightened immediately.  "Have you got any good leads?"

"As if I'd tell you." He pursed his lips in annoyance.  Kikyo made a noise like a soft laugh, drawing his attention.

"That means you have no clue." Kikyo explained her amusement.  "It's too bad.  We will find him in a matter of days, and after we have finished him, your searching will be for nothing."

"Impossible." Sesshoumaru shook his head slightly.  "You are no closer than I am."

"If you'd like to believe that, I will not stop you." Kikyo sipped her tea calmly.  "But soon enough, all will be revealed."

"Don't be so cryptic, Kikyo." Kagura rolled her eyes.  "I think that we'd all benefit from each other's help, don't you agree?"

"We _don't_ need his help." Inuyasha tossed aside a stripped fish skeleton as he spoke adamantly.

"Inuyasha, I think that if we—" Kagome attempted to calm the hanyou, but he wouldn't have any of it.

"No, no fuckin' way." Inuyasha waved his hands, negating whatever logic Kagome had been ready to offer.  "Kouga and his damn groupies came.  I didn't fight you on it."

"Yeah you did!" Kagome cried in protest, but Inuyasha kept up his rant as if she hadn't said a word in protest.

"And then fuckin' Kikyo and Kagura came, and I let it happen." He continued.

"Real nice." Kagura snorted.

"But I'm _not_ taking on any more trash!  We don't need him or his stupid lackeys." Inuyasha insisted.  "Bad enough you got me babysitting the taijiya brat and his creepy ass girlfriend, I'm not taking on more kids."  At his proclamation, uproar ensued.

"Babysitting?  You don't watch out for them at all!"

"She's _not_ my girlfriend!"

"Do _not_ insult my brother."

"Kikyo, give me your knife.  It's stabbing time."

"You did _not_ call me trash!"

"Stupid piece of shit."

"Okay, very nice, let's all calm down." Kagome was now standing up, and as she held her hands out in a pacifying gesture, the people around her quieted down.  Just then, Rin returned with a harried looking Jaken right behind her.

"I'm back!" she immediately threw her arms around Sesshoumaru's neck, causing his lips to purse slightly.

"Rin, please." He calmly pried her arms loose.  "You are nearly thirteen years old.  Behave as a proper lady would."

"She's _twelve_?" Kagome squawked.  "She looks eight!"

"Maybe ten." Sango added her age estimate.

"Her behavior betrays her." Sesshoumaru told them.  "And shames me."

"Sesshoumaru-sama!  Don't say that!" Rin stuck out her lip, and Jaken cleared his throat in warning.

"Don't act up, Rin.  You've been enough trouble to Sesshoumaru-sama." He ordered her.

"No surprise she seems young." Sango turned to Kagome, a slow smile on her lips.  "Imagine Jaken as your mother."

"You'd think Sesshoumaru could teach her how to act." Kagome speculated.

"AS if he'd _lower_ himself." Kohaku grumbled.  "Thinks he's so much better than everyone else.  Than all of us put together.  He's no better, though.  He just can't see that."

"Don't!" Rin grabbed Sesshoumaru's sleeve defensively.  "Sesshoumaru-sama _is_ the best!  He saves lots of people and he always protects Rin!"

"Rin, no." Sesshoumaru was not in the mood for praise from Rin.  It felt wrong, somehow.  "I do not wish to discuss this."

"Let's talk about an alliance, then." Kagura suggested.  "I think that we could all benefit from Sesshoumaru's abilities, and he needs us to find Naraku."

"He wants to kill my brother, though!" Sango protested.  "Absolutely not."

"But think of Rin.  She wants to be with both." Kagome turned to the little girl.  "Kohaku and Sesshoumaru, right?"

"Yeah." She nodded sharply.

"And I think we could learn to work together." Kagome insisted.  "The more people on our side, the better."

"I agree on that point." Kikyo spoke up.  "Personal animosity aside, Sesshoumaru is a formidable fighter."

"I bet he is." Ayame smiled at the beautiful man.  Ginta sat up sharply as he noticed the looks that both Kagura and Ayame were giving the youkai lord.

"I don't trust him." Ginta spoke up, and Ayame elbowed him sharply.

"I never said I _wanted_ to side with you." Sesshoumaru spoke, his tone sharp.

"Like we need _you_." Inuyasha sneered.

"Stop being a baby." Kagome told him, her expression firm.  "Sesshoumaru, I think you should know that we have a definite plan for finding Naraku."

"Is that so?" Sesshoumaru seemed vaguely interested.

"Don't _tell_ him!" Inuyasha growled, obviously upset.

"Like he can do it without us." Sango rolled her eyes.  "He needs us more than we need him."

"Stop, Sango." Kagome frowned at her friend.  "He _won't_ kill Kohaku, will he?"

"Not if I have been given no reason." Sesshoumaru spoke slowly, his tone dangerous and low.

"Then I say we work together." Kagome pressed on.  "We could use you."

"This is crap." Inuyasha grumbled.

"Shut _up_, Inuyasha!" Kagura hissed at him.  "You're just jealous that he's so much prettier than you are!"

"Is _that_ why you girls are so determined?" Kouga wanted to know.  "I don't see what's the big deal.  He looks like a stupid dog to me."

"Now, now, let us not cloud the issue with such petty concerns." Miroku turned to Sango, his face solemn.  "Sango, how do _you_ feel about this?"

"Well…if he promises not to kill Kohaku, I think it will be okay." Sango decided.

"No, no.  I was wondering if you found him…pretty?" Miroku clarified, his head tilted slightly to one side.

"How could you _not_?" Ayame blushed furiously, and Sesshoumaru sighed in aggravation.

"I don't…well, I suppose he is a bit…but I could never _think_ about even…he hates Kohaku!" Sango spluttered.

"_That_ is good enough for me." Miroku nodded his assent.

"So, will you stay with us?" Kagome asked.

"Please, can we?" Rin was using her unbeatable pouty face on him again.  He looked at her wide eyes.

It wouldn't be so horrible to fight with these people.  Many had a small measure of skill, and aside from the pale girl, the stupid brat taijiya, and possibly the fox kit, they were all more powerful than Jaken.  Certainly more brave.

Then again, the group was positively riddled with humans.  Both taijiya, the priest, even the two miko women were still human.  And of course, Inuyasha, though he was only half.

But on the other hand, most of those people were exceptional fighters.  And Rin was human, too.  He somehow forgot that fact quite often.  And she could do with the influence of some older women.  Though he didn't want the wind youkai or the wolf girl touching her.  Both had been shamelessly leering at him ever since he arrived.  He was quite used to the affect he had on women, but it was still…annoying.

He could feel the tension between individuals, warning him that if he got involved, it would be with a troublesome human emotional mess.  But Rin really _did_ want to stay with them.

He could never refuse Rin.

"Fine."

*****

The End (Of Part 16, That Is)


	17. Beauty

And so the tension builds along with the number of people in the traveling troupe of joy and doom!  Now that we've got fifteen people, most of who hate at least one other person in the group all together (except for the people like Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha who hate several people, making up for the people who hate no one, like Rin and Kagome) will there be a no holds barred battle to the death where pretty much all the guys fight and the women watch while eating popcorn and taking bets on who will be left and hooting whenever someone gets their clothing ripped off?  Will Teresa cheer and make sure that Sesshoumaru ends up totally nude?  Does Teresa's objectification of men offend anyone?  Well too bad, if they objectify me, I objectify them and on and on until…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 17

*****

Kikyo's idea was simple, and that was the genius of it.  As Kouga pointed out, it left less room for "screw ups" on any of their parts.

The first phase was to find Naraku.  All that really required was Kanna, her mirror, and a considerable amount of walking from all involved.

Once they reached Naraku, they would leave Rin with Ah-Un, because, despite lengthy protests on _her_ part, Rin was no warrior.  Not unless Naraku was violently allergic to daisy chains.  Which, Kikyo pointed out, was highly unlikely.

And then there was an argument over Shippo, who eventually threatened to hold his breath until he died (Inuyasha told him to go ahead, much to Kagome's displeasure) if they left him behind when he was _clearly_ at least as powerful as Jaken.  Sesshoumaru grudgingly admitted this was true, Jaken complained, and Shippo was allowed to come.

Now the list of fighters numbered fifteen youkai, hanyou, humans, and dead mikos, not to mention a demon cat and several wolves.  Hakkaku claimed there were eight, Ginta said twelve, Ayame said that since neither of them knew how to count, their numbers meant nothing.

Kikyo said they would split into three groups, each approaching Naraku from a different direction, and theoretically cutting off any attempt at escape while overwhelming him with their full force.  Also, if something stopped one group, the other two would still have Naraku in their sights.

This was accepted as a good plan.  But then the argument started.  Who would be in which group?

"I ain't going with him." Inuyasha pointed at Kouga.  "Or him." He indicated Sesshoumaru.  "Or him." His claw pointed to Jaken.  "Or her." He finished with Kanna.

"What's wrong with my sister?"  Kagura became immediately defensive.

"I'm with Kagome." Kouga claimed.

"No way!  _I_ am!" Inuyasha snarled angrily.

"I would like my group to include Sango, Kikyo-sama, Kagura, and Kagome-sama, as they are the most beautiful of all." Miroku spoke up.

"Ew, no." Kagura's nose wrinkled up.

"I say all wolves on one team!" Ayame proclaimed.

"You just want to be with Kouga." Ginta accused her, and she fell silent immediately.

"I would rather there were no humans on my team." Sesshoumaru stated calmly.  "Or half humans."

"Oh, cause there's a lot of _those_ here!" Inuyasha snorted.  "Like no one knows who you mean!"

"Maybe we should let Kikyo pick teams." Kagome suggested.  "She's been doing well so far, don't you think?"

"Kagome's right." Sango added her voice to the discussion.  Everyone turned to face Kikyo, who looked calm and thoughtful.

"I believe the best groups for this fight would be as follows." She finally spoke.  "The first group will be an obvious selection of the five who fight best together, Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, and Shippo.  Then I will fight beside Kagura, Kanna, Kouga, and Kohaku.  Finally, Sesshoumaru and Jaken will fight with Ayame, Hakkaku, and Ginta." She finished.

"Good." Sesshoumaru spoke after a pause.  "No humans."

----------

"The main thing is to keep it from getting in your eyes."  Kagura explained to Kanna and Rin.  Kanna was maintaining polite attention, but Rin seemed positively fascinated as Kagura opened a tiny jar of red face paint she used on her eyelids and lips.  She had just scrubbed her face clean and was explaining proper application to the two girls.  "And don't lick your lips.  It doesn't taste very good."

"Sesshoumaru better not see you." Sango warned from where she sat with a few others, waiting for the others to bring fish.  "You know he hates when you teach Rin things like that." They all remembered his thinly veiled fury when Kagura had showed Rin to tie an obi so that she could dress like a woman instead of a little girl.  Since she had joined them, Rin was learning all sorts of things, and though she seemed only slightly matured, she was certainly less naïve.

"You shouldn't wear that." Kagome advised Kagura.  "I heard that these old face paints were lead-based, and they cause cancer." Kagura blinked at Kagome, confused at her terms before shrugging.

"It's the price you have to pay for beauty." She lowered her eyelashes and smiled wickedly.

"That's stupid.  You look better without all that crap on, anyway." Kouga was poking at the fire with a long stick, not noticing the looks of surprise Ayame and Kagura gave him after this statement.

"He has a point." Kagome didn't seem to think anything at all was strange.  "You have very nice skin and coloring.  I don't see why you wear it at all."

"I like it." Kagura recovered herself.  "Actually, I was thinking recently that I'd like some lacquer for my nails, if I could find some.  I assume it's quite expensive, as only well-off women seem to wear it."

"Oh!" Kagome brightened.  "Nail polish?  It's not as bad where I'm from.  In fact, I might have…" she drifted off, searching through her bulging backpack.  "I thought Sango might like to try it…ah-ha!" Kagome produced a handful of little glass jars, which Kagura and Sango eyed with interest.  "We should paint each other's nails!  It'll be fun."

"Count me out." Kouga looked so utterly disgusted that Kagome couldn't help bursting into laughter.  "What?"

"Nothing.  I just pictured Inuyasha and you painting your nails…hair up in curlers and beauty masks on…oh man." Kagome continued giggling helplessly before she was able to recover.  "Anyway, I have a few different bottles.  There's some pink, purple, and this red."

"Dibs on red!" Kagura was immediately at Kagome's side, gaze longingly fixed on the bottle in question.

"I don't really know how this works." Sango admitted.  "Can you show us first, Kagome?"

"Sure.  Set your hands flat for me, Kagura.  Like this, with your fingers spread." Kagome instructed, shaking the red bottle vigorously in one hand.  "Okay, now you can't move around or it'll get messy." Kagome warned the ecstatic wind youkai as Ayame, Rin, and even Kanna drew closer to inspect this unfamiliar process.  Kagome unscrewed the bottle's lid and showed the brush off to her audience.  "See, it's attached right to the lid so it's really convenient."

"Ugh, that shit smells nasty." Kouga scrunched up his nose in disgust.  "What's in it?"

"Um…chemicals and things." Kagome made a face, upset that she couldn't really elaborate.

"Whatever _that_ means.  I'm gonna find Ginta and Hakkaku.  They should be back by now." Kouga tossed aside his stick and left to track down his wolves, who were on firewood duty that evening.  The girls hardly noticed his exit as Kagome swiftly painted one of Kagura's hands and then the other.

"Ooh, that's pretty." Sango admired her friend's handiwork.  "You're really good at it, Kagome."

"It's not hard." Kagome blushed at the praise.  "Just takes a little practice.  Now, they have to dry, so go like this, but _don't_ touch them yet." Kagome shook her hands vigorously.  "Or they won't be as shiny when they dry."

"Do girls do this a lot in your country?" Ayame was fingering the pink bottle thoughtfully.

"Pretty often." Kagome was preparing to paint Sango's nails red as well.  "Usually I only do it when I'm on a date or something with a bunch of friends and I want to look nice or just dress up."

"Can I use the pink?" Ayame asked, and Kagome smiled at the other girl.

"Sure," she agreed.  "That one's my favorite, you know."

"Who will paint yours, Kagome?" Sango wanted to know, but before Kagome could answer, Kagura volunteered.

"I want to try!" she exclaimed, obviously excited by the prospect.  "I have to be sure I can do it for myself."

"Sure." Kagome agreed.  She knew that they were none of them normal girls by any means, and their situation was serious and completely dangerous.  Kikyo had continued on after they stopped to scout for Naraku's exact location.  She would be back soon to say whether or not the final battle would be tomorrow.  But right then, they were just girls, playing with make-up and talking happily about nothing of great importance.  It made the prospect of their collective futures somehow less frightening.  Less real.

Kagome soon finished with Sango and Ayame, and a wickedly smiling Kagura took up the spot across from her once more, shaking the pink bottle as she'd seen Kagome do.  "Ready?" the wind youkai asked, looking up from Kagome's splayed fingers, brush poised and waiting.  Kagome nodded.

It struck her suddenly that it had not been so very long ago that Kagura had been her enemy.  Not so long ago she could only hope at Kohaku's salvation, Sango's dearest wish for so long.  How recently Shippo, who now stood to just below her waist, had been no higher than her knee.  He still seemed a baby to her, though he grew more every day.  Only months, it seemed, since she had resigned herself to the idea that surely, Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha would simply never learn to fight side by side instead of across from each other.  Ever rivals, ever fighting.  And how little time had passed since she first fell into that well, setting into motion all of these events that had drawn together such an unlikely band for one common purpose.

And now?

Now, they were more than companions to her.  They were friends.  Even family.  Kagome knew it couldn't feel that way for everyone, but she really did feel that she could trust them, whatever reservations they themselves may have.  But after Naraku, that was unsure.  Would there be anything after Naraku?

Would they survive?

"Done!" Kagura's proud tone brought Kagome back to the present.  "How'd I do, boss?" Kagura's tone was teasing, and it made Kagome momentarily forget her worries.

"Great job." Kagome told her, surveying the precisely painted nails with satisfaction.  "It's perfect."

"Ah, yes." Kagura fluttered her lashes, but a faint blush stained her cheeks.  "Come here, Rin.  You're next."

----------

"Detestable." Sesshoumaru was taking it in turns to glare at Kagura and then at his precious Rin's defiled fingernails, which had carefully been painted pink by the beaming wind youkai.

"Don't they look pretty, Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin's eyes pleaded for approval, and the proud lord was torn.

"You know," Kagura spoke up in her most self-righteous tone.  Kouga looked up to warily survey the scene.  At first, Kagura had seemed very impressed with Sesshoumaru's outer appearance and impeccable grooming.  But her eyelash fluttering and not-so-subtle flirtation had disappeared after Sesshoumaru and her first clashed on the subject of Rin.  Now they seemed to barely tolerate each other.  "Rin is almost thirteen.  I am not a human, but I understand that a girl of that age is considered to be on the brink of womanhood.  You expect her to make the transition while still remaining completely naïve and girlish, but you should get used to the idea that girls her age often get married.  And if she wants to wear a little make-up, that's _hardly_ an inconvenience for you."

"Trouble." Sango breathed in warning, but Kagura was never a big one for warnings.

"She is _my_ responsibility, woman." Sesshoumaru's tone was pure ice.  "If you had your way, she would hardly become a woman of repute."

"If _you_ had your way, she'd be locked away from the whole world and stay a little girl forever." Kagura shot back.  "She's not youkai, you know.  She ages faster than us.  Look at Shippo, he's still so much smaller than her but he's at least twice her age." Kagome shot a surprised look at the fox demon.  He was older than _her_?  How was that even possible?  No one seemed surprised other than her, though, so Kagome kept her disbelief to herself.

"You are a despicable excuse for a role model." Sesshoumaru told Kagura, who pursed her lips in fury.

"And _you_ are the worst guardian ever!  How many times has Rin been kidnapped or almost killed?" Kagura asked.  The camp fell silent, all attention on Sesshoumaru, who looked utterly homicidal at the moment.  But then Kikyo stepped into the clearing and spoke the words that everyone had hoped for.  And dreaded.

"Tomorrow," she spoke calmly, "we fight Naraku."

*****

The End (Of Part 17, That Is)


	18. Honesty

Okay, I just have to say that as much as I love Bill Murray and I thought Lost in Translation was a good movie, but when he beat Johnny Depp and got the Golden Globe, I was forced to shout "injustice!" because NO one can defeat Captain Jack Sparrow.  And seriously, think about it.  Johnny is just three billion times sexier.  Oh yeah.  Also, I feel they should have a "most glompable" category, and Billy Boyd will win because I love Pippin with all of my heart!  I know, I seem like a dork right now, but I'm sure anyone reading anime fanfiction (or writing it, for that matter) is far past the stage of worrying whether or not they are a dork.  At that point, it is simply too late.  You can't fool yourself if you know that…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 18

*****

Dinner passed in silence, and it seemed everyone was trying to digest the situation, to understand that this might well be their last peaceful night together.  Perhaps their last night alive.  Certainly the battle ahead was not to be taken lightly.  Even Inuyasha and Shippo did nothing to lighten the somber mood.  No bickering, no food battles, Miroku did not grope anyone, and no one felt the need to slap him and call him various insulting names.  No one did anything to get on the nerves of anyone else.  Other than what had happened _before_ Kikyo's announcement, of course.  After some time, those gathered grew restless and seemed to dissipate into the surrounding woods to have some time alone.

Kagura didn't realize at first that only Kouga and her remained sitting beside the fire.  She was too busy examining her lacquered nails with limited interest and trying to ignore the acrobatics her stomach was doing at the moment.  Then he cleared his throat slightly, moving to sit next to her, and she smiled at him nervously.

"Worried?" Kouga asked her, sitting down and turning his head to speak in a low tone.

"Kanna and I are ready to die." She answered after a thoughtful pause.  "I know I am, at least.  But it's still…scary.  I thought…it wouldn't matter.  I thought that I didn't have anything I wanted to do or needed to do other than…just this.  Just to be free.  But I guess that now…I keep thinking too much about things I've never done.  It's stupid, I guess.  Even knowing for sure that I'll die…I feel so worried for Kanna.  For everyone.  For myself.  And what if…what if he wins in spite of it all?  Can anyone else stop him?"

"Everything's so black and white for you." Kouga snorted slightly.  "You don't _know_ you'll die.  And even if one of us goes down, you know about Sesshoumaru's sword."

"Like he'd save me." Kagura frowned.  "I'm _detestable_, remember?  I should have been nicer to him, I guess."

"No, I don't think so." Kouga disagreed.  "You're Kagura.  And Kagura always says what she believes no matter what other people think.  That's one of the best things about her."

"You…think so?" Kagura looked up at him.

"It's a good way to live.  I keep stuff hidden for no good reason, and see what happens?  I wanted so much to be with Kagome, but she's in love with Inuyasha.  Not that he can talk seriously either…but yeah. And now, there's no time for me to say everything I should to everyone who needs to hear it." Kouga explained.

"Don't feel like that.  I keep secrets, too." Kagura told him.  "And you can tell _me_ anything you want.  I won't get mad.  Well, not _too_ mad…I think." Kouga laughed and Kagura felt herself blush as she turned to look away.  "Don't laugh.  I was being serious."

"Okay, okay." Kouga calmed himself, looking at Kagura as though gathering courage.  "It's hard to say."

"What?" Kagura hadn't believed he'd tell her anything, but when she turned to him, his face was serious.

"About before," he started, looking like he couldn't quite find the right words.  "About everything…I'm glad.  That I met you, I mean.  That I got to know you better than most people.  I really thought I hated you.  But I hated myself for not stopping it from happening.  And when I saw that, I realized that I'm not mad at you anymore.  I…forgive you, Kagura."

"Really?" It took a long time for Kagura to speak, her eyes wide, her mouth dry.

"I should've told you before." He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment before any further speech was cut off by a hug so forceful he was almost winded.

"Thank you." Her voice was trembling, but her arms were clutched tight around his neck.  "Thank you so much.  If I could have asked for one thing before I died, it would've been that."  Kouga didn't know what to say, but somehow he felt it was right to let his arms encircle her lightly, to hold her as she continued to cling to him.  He felt himself wondering if it was possible to hold the wind.  After all, that was what she was, and he had a feeling that it should be something exceedingly difficult.  In a way…it was hard.  It hurt some part of him, but it was a dull ache, and it somehow felt as though he was touching something tender inside, something that had long been wounded and left untouched and unhealed.  How could Kagura touch it?

"I didn't know it meant so much to you." He spoke again after some time, his mind whirling as he tried to place exactly what it was that Kagura's hair smelled like.

"I wanted to be your friend.  I don't have a lot of friends, you know, and I really do like you."  Kagura's words tumbled out on top of each other.  She looked up, her lips twitching in a nervous smile as she let go of Kouga.  "Sorry.  I'm so…stupid sometimes."

"No," Kouga turned back to the fire, feeling a lot better.  "You're just Kagura."

----------

Kagome felt restless, but she hated wandering around without a reason, so she took a flashlight and went to look for some herbs to top off her first aid kit.  She had just found a nice patch of plants that numbed pain when a light rustling caused her to look up just as Kikyo sat to help her.

"I was—"

"I know." The dead miko cut Kagome off, plucking the plants carefully from the patch where they were growing, not looking up from her task.  "Fear is thick tonight.  Excitement as well.  Anticipation."

"Kikyo, how old were you when you…" Kagome realized what she was going to say about halfway through the question and stopped herself, blushing furiously.  "Sorry, you probably don't like talking about death and all that."

"I don't mind." Kikyo answered.  "I have been dead far too long for it to be a touchy subject.  I was seventeen."

"I just wondered because…you know so much." Kagome felt embarrassed, but pressed on.  "Were you this wise when you died?"

"Maybe if I had been, I wouldn't have died." Kikyo paused to look at Kagome. "I see much of who I was when I look at you.  With training, you could be a great miko indeed.  But it would change you, just as it did me."

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked.

"You have trust and more compassion than ever I remember.  You truly love Inuyasha, in a way that I never was able to.  Trust in that, Kagome, and there is nothing to fear.  A heart that is strong may yet triumph over all." Kikyo stood then, and without another word she was gone, leaving Kagome to mull over her thoughts.

----------

Tomorrow it would end.  Inuyasha stared at the clear night sky as he rested high in the treetops.  Tomorrow he would make sure.  No more escapes.  No more tricks.  Inuyasha would die if it gave him the vengeance that he had sought for so long now.  But he had Kagome to think of.  Kikyo, who he owed his life to.  Sango, Miroku, Shippo.  His family.

"Inuyasha." The smooth baritone nearly made the hanyou fall, but he collected himself admirably and turned to the nearby intruder, perched only feet from where he had been lounging.

"What do you want?" he spluttered angrily, standing so that Sesshoumaru would not look down his nose at him in that regal manner he always affected.

"I wish to speak with you." The answer was so surprising Inuyasha gaped for nearly a full minute before recovering.

"About what?  How you don't need my help and how I'm probably going to die tomorrow?" Inuyasha's tone was shaken, but still snide.

"It is true that you may die.  That is why I must be frank." Sesshoumaru sighed slightly, seeming very put out indeed.  "I made a promise to father long ago, and I will not have you die without fulfilling my obligation."  Inuyasha fell silent at this, though he was clearly searching for the proper scathing remark with which to respond.  "He told me once that it might fall upon me.  He explained that he would not live to see you as an adult.  I thought him foolish at the time, or perhaps overly cautious.  I could not see how such a great lord would ever die.  But I suppose that I was young, and he did die in the end.  I hated you then.  He died protecting that human wretch and her whelp."

"You mean me." Inuyasha interrupted, looking rather irate.

"Of course." Sesshoumaru seemed insulted at the very insinuation that their father might have sired more than one hanyou child.  "Anyway, he wanted me to protect you and be sure that you grew up strong.  Even though I blamed you for his death, I fulfilled those promises.  It is true that we have done nothing but fight for as long as you might recall, but I did make sure that you were safe in my own way.  I thought that if you knew you were under my guard you would become…difficult, and so I was secretive about my actions.  I trained you thoroughly and now you have grown into a capable fighter, just as father requested."

"Why tell me all this now?" Inuyasha wanted to know.

"He made a third request that I have yet to honor." Sesshoumaru admitted.  "I thought it was idiotic, and had thrown it away from me, but now I have decided to finish what father started.  I am…supposed to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Inuyasha asked, actually curious at this point.

"He wanted you to always remember that there are two parts to you that are of equal importance.  Your youkai strength and honor, giving you the ability to defend yourself and others, to fight for what you believe in and win those things most important to you." Sesshoumaru paused then, looking hesitant before he continued.  "And your human side.  Sensitivity, compassion, and love that is so powerful it can be blinding.  He said he envied you those things, and that they were his gift to you.  What is the use of having so much power if you have nothing to defend and no one to care for?  He wanted you to remember this."

"That's so stupid." Inuyasha grumbled.

"Inuyasha!" Sesshoumaru's anger flared then, bright white and stronger than Inuyasha had ever seen outside of battle.  "You are a fool to ignore our father's advice!  He was much wiser than you will ever be.  Even now, I learn things from him."

"Fine." He backed down.  "I was just kidding, anyway."  There was a long silence as Inuyasha leaned casually against the tree.  "So…yeah, tomorrow."

"The end of all this." The older youkai was still standing with his back straight as a board.  "It has been a long time coming, and I must admit that I never imagined that I would have so many…"

"Companions?"  Inuyasha supplied, an ironic smirk on his face.

"Exactly right." Sesshoumaru ignored the jibing tone in which it had been said.  "I have long since stopped depending on others.  But I must say this, Inuyasha."  There was a silence, a wait, anticipation in the air, though Inuyasha looked like he was lounging, he was clearly taking his brother seriously.  "I would be proud to have you at my side on that day."

"Same here."

----------

"And _this_ one is good, because it's the color of the tie he uses on his yukata." Rin explained as she picked a deep blue flower to add to the bouquet she was making.  "We need more yellow, because that's the color of happiness."

"It's so dark, how can you even see the flowers?" Kohaku was not entirely pleased with the task he had been inadvertently recruited for.  "Most of them are closed for the night."

"But if you put them in water, in the morning when he wakes up they'll open up and then they'll be even brighter than before." She explained as she knelt over a patch of flowers and considered each in turn.  "And I can see just fine because the moon is giving me light." Rin indicated the waxing ball of light high above them.

"Yeah, but…" Kohaku looked around.  He had to say something.  He was still young, but he knew that there was a good chance that tomorrow, he might die.  And he couldn't let that happen without telling Rin everything he wanted to tell her.  However, it was hard to bare his soul when she was picking flowers for the always-important Sesshoumaru.  "Don't you think we should get back?  It's getting late, and I don't know if it's very safe around here.  With Naraku close, and all that."

"Kohaku's here, though!" she reminded him cheerily as she bundled the flowers together and began attempting to tie them with a piece of thick grass.  This was something she was still mastering, and one of the few skills Kagura had demonstrated for her that had not sent Sesshoumaru into fits of silent rage.  "I'm not afraid."

"Oh…well, that's good, then." He blushed in the dark, wondering if the moonlight was enough to show off the stain on his cheeks.  He hoped it wasn't.  "Rin?"

"Yeah?" she was on her third piece of grass, which she was frowning out in an adorable fashion as she tried to tie it without breaking it in half.

"Um, do you ever think…of…um, when you grow up?" he began, feeling more than a little nervous.  The only thing that kept him going was knowing that if he didn't get it out now, he might never say it to her.  Tomorrow, he might die.

"Yeah." She smiled brightly at him and picked a fourth piece of grass, going back to her work diligently.

"Well…I just…you want help with that?" he offered, feeling a bit scared to continue with his line of conversation.

"No, I have to learn how for myself." She insisted.

"Oh.  Well." He licked his lips.  Why were they so dry?  Could she really not see how nervous he was?  "Well."  There was a long silence, broken only when Rin gasped and held up her bouquet in delight.

"I did it!" she giggled in complete triumph.  "Do you think he'll like it?  Is it pretty enough?"

"Uh…sure." Kohaku felt so stupid.  Why was he even thinking she'd listen to him?

"I'm gonna go show him!" she leapt up, but at the last second, in a moment of panic, he caught her arm.  "Kohaku-kun?"

"Rin." He swallowed, licked his lips, then swallowed again.  "I'm…we're…about the same age, right?"

"You're a little older." She agreed.  "But close to the same, yeah."

"So." He was stuck again.  Why was this so hard?  "So…do you think…sometimes…if we were older, I mean…Rin."

"What are you trying to say, Kohaku-kun?" her eyes were wide, grey, and utterly guileless.  She really had no idea what he was trying to do, did she?  "Kohaku-kun?"

"Rin, when we…grow up." This was stupid.  He wasn't saying _anything_.  So he did what he thought was best, leaning forward and pressing his lips to hers.  The kiss was short, chaste, and somewhat clumsy, but it got his message across, and he came out of it blushing to the roots of his hair.  "Will…you…be with me?"

"I…um." Rin now seemed confused, which was very rare for her.  She was young, and naïve, but she didn't seem to worried about what she didn't understand.  She would have plenty of time to learn those things while she grew up.  "Um…"

"What I mean is," Kohaku was feeling more confident now that she was so obviously struck still.  "I mean, will you be at my side.  Like…like my sister and Miroku?  Will you…um…if we…and we're grown up…marry me, that is."  Now he was scared again.  Terrified.

"Kohaku-kun…wants to marry me?" Rin's voice was still confused.  There was a long silence, and he tried to search her face for expression in the dark, but all he could see was how bright her grey eyes were.  "But…I can't marry you."

"Why?" he wasn't about to give up now that he'd finally gotten the words out.

"Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't like that." She began.

"It doesn't _matter_ what he likes!  It matters what you want, Rin!  You can't just always listen to him and never think about yourself.  What is your dream?" he asked her, furious at her view.

"My dream?" Rin was struck, but her answer came swiftly enough that it was clear she already had decided this question long ago.  "To grow into a beautiful lady.  So that I can marry Sesshoumaru-sama and stay with him forever."

Kohaku dropped her hand.  What could he say to that?  What was there to say?  He couldn't understand it, but there it was.  She was obsessed with the lord, and he wondered if she'd really follow that dream.  "Oh."

"I'm sorry, Kohaku-kun." She seemed upset that he was obviously disappointed.  "But I can't marry _both_ of you."

"No, I guess not." He sighed, then brightened slightly.  "If…if you decide that you want me instead…you can always…"

"Yeah." She smiled up at him.  He was amazed that she understood.  She really _was_ growing up, after all.  "Let's go back, Kohaku-kun.  It's late."

"Yeah."

*****

The End (Of Part 18, That Is)


	19. Reflection

It's the night before the _doom_ of us all!  Hey, you know who really really liked the word doom a lot?  Tolkein.  He was all about meeting doom and finding ones doom and overcoming doom and discovering your doom and all that in the LotR books.  It maybe actually influenced my current obsession with doom.  Although if I had to cite specific influences to my doom love, I would say that Tolkein would be one of the earliest, back in junior high when I first read those bad boys.  And then I guess after that would be Invader Zim, which totally uses that word in all kinds of cool ways.  After that, when I got Hana Yori Dango and my sister started calling Doumyouji "Doomy," that added to it.  So now here I am, and doom this, and doom that, and doom on you and doom on your cat.  Doom is just a word, after all, a great word, but a word.  However,

*****

Something Is Real

Part 19

*****

Ayame could not believe her eyes.  She had been strolling along the stream, but she had been lonely, and decided to return to the campsite.  She didn't want to spend this night all alone, as much as the moments of quiet reflection had been appreciated by her before.  Now, she just wanted companionship, and she wanted to be reminded that she wasn't going to be alone tomorrow when they went into battle.  She didn't want to die, but she especially didn't want to die alone.  She was still young, by youkai standards.  She had never been kissed, she had never been told that she was beautiful by anyone other than her uncle and her grandfather, who she didn't think counted since they were her relatives and had to say stuff like that.  She was, however, in love.  Well…she thought so.  It was hard to keep faith in Kouga.  All he did was stare at Kagome or yell at Inuyasha or talk with Kagura or spend time with Ginta and Hakkaku, and he never seemed to have time for her.  She was getting rather annoyed with his lack of response to her years and years of dedication to him.  It was very insulting, and she couldn't help but thinking that maybe she should just give up on him.

But it was destiny, wasn't it?  After all, how many times in your life did you see a rainbow in the moon's light?  It had to have been a sign.  And she had clung to that for so long that she couldn't let go of it now.  Not after so long, surely.  Sighing deeply, she bit her lip and paused as she caught sight of the fire up ahead, and heard the low murmur of voices.  She didn't want to walk in on anything…personal.  She was sure that with such an important battle ahead, Sango would be with Miroku, Kagome would be with Inuyasha.  Everyone had someone, it seemed.  Except her someone.

That was when she spotted the pair by the fire, bent close together, voices low, their faces extremely close.  Suspiciously close.  Suggestively close.

Kouga and Kagura.

Ayame was really starting to dislike the wind youkai.  But not for the reasons she'd had before.  The whole kin-slaying thing was apparently not supposed to be an issue anymore, so she tried to just leave that alone, and she was moving past it.  No one had been angrier than Kouga, anyway, and if _he_ could forgive her, anyone could.  But she was always with him.  Always talking, laughing, joking, teasing, standing _way_ closer than what was strictly necessarily.  It was annoying.  It was frustrating.  But _this_, this was unforgivable.

It was likely their last night together.  One of them could very well die in the fight tomorrow, and what was he doing?  Was he telling her not to worry, that he would watch out for her, and that if anything happened, he would take care of her people as well as his, and that she had always been very important to him?  Was he even acting remotely concerned about where she might be?  No.  He was deep in discussion with Kagura, of all people.  _That_ was who he felt he needed to talk to more than anyone else.  _That_ was who he needed to tell all his secrets to?  Well that was just _fine_.

But then, she _attacked_ him.

Okay, that wasn't quite right.  She hugged him.  Hard.  And he was just as surprised as Ayame was, judging from the shock on his face.  But just when she was going to burst out into the camp site and break it up, his arms moved around her, and his face relaxed into an easy smile.  Since when was he allowed to hug her and smile like that…like they were…when she was such a…

This was utterly stupid.  Ayame turned on her heel and went on a madly swift walk as far from the stupid fire and stupid Kouga as fast as she could go.  And she wasn't crying.  Her eyes were blurry just because it was so dark out, and because she was running now.  That was ridiculous.  Why was she running?  She stopped herself, and plopped down on the edge of the grassy hilltop she had stumbled across.

"Hey." Ginta was there.  She hadn't even noticed him, lying in the long grass, hands behind his head, staring up at the stars and the moon and the sky.  "What's with the running?  Something going on?"

"No…nothing's going on." She considered getting up and leaving.  She didn't want to be teased.  Not right now.  She couldn't take that right now.  Not after what she had just seen.

"Just desperate for a view of the…man…um, Ayame?" Ginta was sitting up now, moving toward her, his face concerned, his eyes narrowed in concentration on her face.  "Are you…crying?"

_Stupid!_

She brushed at her cheeks frantically and shook her head. "No, no I'm not.  What would I be crying about, after all?"

"I don't know." Ginta sighed and sat back down beside her, leaning back so he could see the moon.  "Nice night, though, isn't it?"

"I guess." She shrugged, looking up at the moon.  It would be full tomorrow night.  If they lived to see it.  If she lived to see it.  "Ginta?"

"What?" he asked, not looking away from the bodies twinkling in the sky.

"Do you think…you know, we're not very strong." Ayame felt extremely stupid.  "I mean, like compared to Kouga…or even Inuyasha or Sesshoumaru.  Or Kagome or Kikyo, or Kagura.  A lot of the people here, I mean…they're stronger than us."

"But we're on the same side." He pointed out the obvious.

"Yeah." She agreed. "But you know, tomorrow, I think probably someone will die.  Don't you think so?"

"You think it's gonna be you?" Ginta bit through her layers of nervousness, right to the heart of her fear.  She gasped at how easily he'd stripped her of all her pretense before she recovered herself enough to answer.

"Yeah…yeah." She told him.

"Well, that's a stupid thing to worry about." He told her, flashing her a wink.  "Wanna know why?"

"Why?" she looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time that she could remember.  He was cute when he wasn't being an ass.  He was sweet when he wasn't making fun of her.  He was smart, and he was strong, and he was someone she understood.  He was a friend, at least.  And at most…

"Look at the stars." He instructed, and she turned, trying not to blush.  What was she _thinking_ about?  She might be young, but she wasn't a child.  She shouldn't think anything about Ginta except for that he was absolutely irritating and the worst possible retainer a leader could have, always second-guessing…

_Making you think for yourself._

And he had no modesty whatsoever!

_Neither do you._

And…he was a show-off!

_And you aren't?_

Okay, so he had some good points, but at the same time, he had bad points.  Like…he wasn't Kouga.  But she wasn't sure how bad that was.  Really, after what _she'd_ just seen, it should be moved to the list of good points.  And why was she looking at the stars again?

"When I was little, my mom died." Ginta was explaining, so she didn't turn away from the sky.  "My dad told me that she had gone up there, and that all those millions and billions of stars are the eyes of the people that had to leave us, and that they're always watching out for us."

"That's nice…" Ayame had heard something similar, she recalled.

"So you shouldn't worry that you'll die." He told her.  "See how many people watch out for us?  And even if we _did_ die, we would get to meet them again, and then _we_ would shine up in the sky.  Pretty good deal, huh?"  Ayame turned to him, unable to repress her smile.  How did he know what to say to make her feel better?  She had known for a while that he always knew what to say to piss her off, but she'd never thought he could reverse that and use his wits to make her happy.

"Ginta, thanks." She told him, blushing and turning back toward the sky to hide it.

"Eh, we should…you know, get back, you think?" he shifted, but she snatched his hand in hers, not letting him leave her alone out here, not to think of them…by the fire…hugging.

"Not yet." She pleaded, her tone telling him that she could think of nothing she wanted to do less than go back to the camp.  "Can we…just stay here for a while?  I like…spending time with you.  Just…when you're being nice to me.  It's nice."

"Uh…" Ginta felt his face go so red he thought it would catch fire.  "Uh, okay." And then she leaned her head against him, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Yeah, this was much better than going back.  They could wait for a while longer.

----------

Kagura realized belatedly that it was very awkward having a touching moment with someone and then simply going back to staring at the fire together, silently.  It was…tense, somehow.  Like the air was thick, and like there was something she was supposed to say, or something he was supposed to do.  She didn't know what it was, and it was starting to annoy her.  Finally, she stood up with a great huff of air.  Kouga turned, his brilliant blue eyes sparking curiously as she stretched the kinks out from sitting on that uncomfortable stump for so long.

"I'm going to find Kikyo." She said the first thing she could think of, and it wasn't a half-bad excuse, at that.  She _was_ concerned about where the dead miko had wandered off to.  She was someone that was very important to Kagura, if only because she thought of her as the first person to really be her friend.  Kanna didn't count, she was her sister, and she was special in her own right because of that claim.  Kouga was…something else entirely.  Kouga was fascinating, in a very dangerous way.

When she was with Kouga, she felt afraid of dying.  She felt like she wanted only to survive, if only to spend a little more time with him.  That was a dangerous line of thinking, because really, what good could it possibly do?  And as far as she was concerned, things that were not good, were obviously bad.  It might have been too "black and white," as Kouga had said, but that was what she truly believed, and it seemed to make perfect sense to her.

"You were looking for me?" Kikyo appeared out of nowhere, it seemed, and it was enough to shock the breath right out of Kagura, who stood gasping expressionlessly for a few moments before she nodded.  "Come, let us take a walk."  Kikyo tilted her head slightly and led Kagura on a seemingly random path that had been cleared by animals of some kind.  Foxes, maybe.  Or badgers.  Not that it mattered, really.

"Kikyo?" she spoke up eventually.  "Will we die tomorrow, do you think?"

"Probably." The answer was just as cheery as always, and Kagura sighed heavily.  "This was your choice, Kagura." The other woman reminded her companion, her grey-blue gaze unwavering.  "Remember that.  No one forced you into this battle, and that is why I respect you."

"Yeah." Kagura nodded slightly.  "Yeah, I know.  But…"

"You want to live." Kikyo finished the sentence easily.  "That is sensible of you."

"But, you don't care about this at all.  You don't care about dying." Kagura pointed out, and Kikyo stopped, blinking at her as though trying to decide whether Kagura was serious or not before she finally responded to Kagura's assertions.

"I am already dead." Kikyo reminded her.  "You are not."

"Yeah." Kagura nodded again.  "I know, but it still seems like I'm a coward.  Wanting to live, so much…"

"Why?" Kikyo asked.

"Why does it seem cowardly?  Well, I guess because everyone _else_ knows what it's gonna be like, and I'm the only one freaking out." Kagura explained.  Kikyo laughed.  She actually laughed.

"Everyone is afraid.  Inuyasha, Kagome, Kouga, Kohaku, even Sesshoumaru is afraid." Kikyo assured her.  "Do not think that you are a coward because you feel fear.  It is facing your fears that makes you brave, not existing without them.  Someone who feels no fear is only a fool.  And besides all that, I wanted to know why you want to live."

"Oh." Kagura felt foolish.  Kikyo always made her line of thinking seem so perfect, so logical, leaving Kagura thinking she was just a child.  "Well, for one thing, I worry about Kanna.  I mean, she's older than me, technically, but she's still my sister, and I care about her.  I don't want her to be alone, and I worry that if I die, she won't have anyone to watch out for her."  Kagura paused.  "I see that Kohaku is nice to her…that makes me feel better, I guess.  But then, there's…other things."

"Like?" Kikyo prompted, her head tilted, her eyes sharp, catching every emotion Kagura displayed, intentionally or subconsciously.

"I've only just met you." She began. "You're my best friend, but I don't think after tomorrow…and I don't want to know what it's like for you to die.  Or me.  And I know…that eventually, I'll have to learn to lose.  I don't want to learn that."

"It makes life sweeter to have hardships." Kikyo told her.  "Without them, the good does not appear as sweet by comparison."

"And…Kouga." Kagura's face went red, but she turned away so that Kikyo might miss it.  "He's forgiven me, Kikyo.  I think…I feel like this is the beginning of an important thing.  I feel like my insides are wound tight, and they're waiting for something…but I don't know what it is.  And tomorrow, if I die, I'll never find out.  This thing, I'll never hold it in my hands.  I'll never understand it.  And…I think…Kikyo, I think it's what I'm looking for."

"What are you looking for?" Kikyo asked, as if she didn't know.

"Something real." Kagura answered.  "Something that makes me feel alive.  Something that lasts.  Something wonderful.  I can't lose it now."

"You won't." Kikyo assured her.  "I care for you, Kagura.  You are my friend, as you have said to me.  And tomorrow, I will protect your life with my own.  I will not let you die without having learned what that thing is."

"Do…you know?" Kagura asked.  Kikyo seemed to know everything.

"Yes." She smiled warmly, something that caught Kagura off guard by the nature of it's rarity.  "Something worth living for."

*****

The End (Of Part 19)


	20. Kiss

Okay, so I saw the Oscar nominations, and while Lord of the Rings _did_ get a whopping eleven nominations, none of the actors got anything.  Which means that, once again, the Academy is ignoring my need to have a "Most Glompable Hobbit" category.  And okay, I would even find it alright if they just had "Most Glompable," and left the hobbit bit out altogether, because we know that Billy Boyd would _still_ win.  I mean, come on.  Pippin.  He rules.  And even though it's just a fictional character, when he's sitting there singing and missing his Merry, it hits your heartstrings, and you just know that…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 20

*****

"There you are." Miroku's smooth voice roused Sango gently from her task, sharpening Hiraikotsu and buffing out the nicks and scratches along the youkai-bone surface.  She looked up at him, her eyes catching the light from the moon and gleaming a deep maroon that was almost black in the darkness.  "I was worried."

"I can take care of myself." Sango spoke, a slow smile finding it's way to her lips as she turned back to her task.  "As you well know, Houshi-sama."

"Sango," the tone pleaded, and she flushed as she realized her error.

"Oops, sorry." She gave him an apologetic grin.  "I guess it's just force of habit, you know?"

"I suppose I can let it slip past this once." Miroku sighed as though the concession weighed down on him heavily.  "But I must ask for reparation."

"If you think I'm going to do some…hentai favor for you just because I forgot to say your name _one_ time, you're completely out of bounds, Housh…er, Miroku." Sango coughed and abandoned her righteous fury for the boomerang once more.

"That was close, Sango." Miroku's voice was solemn as though he were giving religious advice, not coming onto her.  "But I must say that your assertion seems completely unfair to me.  If I should give up on other women, I expect to see some sort of reciprocated attention on your part."

"Miroku," she spoke his name sharply, not at all the way he liked it, but it was still nice just to hear her say it.  "I'm _trying_ to get ready for tomorrow.  You remember, we'll be battling our sworn enemy to the death?  We might not _live_, and all you can do is hit on me and try to get in a cheap feel."

"Well, could you really blame a man in his last hours for wanting to spend that time with the only woman he has ever truly loved." Miroku shrugged, but his words froze Sango in the midst of her task.  "Sango?" he prompted her response after the silence had gone on for much longer than he deemed normal to bantering conversation.

"Miroku, just…don't." her voice was pained, and he was shocked to realize that she was crying.  Sango, actually _crying_ for no apparent reason.  "Go away."

"I…Sango, what…" Miroku, who prided himself on his golden tongue, his words that never failed to feel the silence poetically, if not entirely appropriately, was completely lost.  Sango was crying.  "What did I do?"

"You just…can't come here and say whatever you want, like it just doesn't matter as long as it gets you laid.  You can't toy with people like that!" she burst out, tears splashing down her face reddened by anger.  "Don't say things you don't mean!"

"What did I say?" Miroku was trying to remain calm, but it was very hard to stay stoic when Sango was so obviously upset.

"That you…and…about me…" she sniffled and wiped at her eyes, frustrated at behavior that she deemed ridiculous and utterly weak.  That was _definitely_ not the way to impress him and to be taken seriously, that much she was sure of.  "Miroku, I mean it."

"I mean it, too." He insisted.  "I want to be with you now, Sango.  I'm sorry that I spoke so crassly, but the fact of the matter is that if I could only be near you for these last hours, I would die a happy man, thinking myself cared for even if it was untrue."

"It's not untrue." She told him sharply.  "You know that, don't you?  That I…I keep falling for everything you say.  But it doesn't mean anything to you, does it?  Just words, like flower petals floating away on the wind…pointless.  You forget them as soon as they're out there, making everything…different.  But not for you.  You don't care about anything."

"Sango…" Miroku looked so hurt that she took pause.  "I know…the way I speak is sometimes…flowery.  But I would hate for you to think that I don't remember every word exchanged between the two of us and treasure it as something precious to me.  I care for you a great deal, Sango.  You may not believe that, but the fact of the matter is that nothing could make me leave you now, knowing that this might be the last evening we have together…nothing.  Nothing is more important to me than you, and anything I have said or done to hurt your feelings was purely unintentional.  I am sorry if you find me unworthy, as I have placed all my efforts into the sole purpose of capturing your affections.  And if I could have them, I would never let them go."

"Miroku, that's what I mean." She sighed, trying to resist the pull of his eyes, the closeness of his position, the way his hand reached to cover hers.  "You say things…things that are beautiful, but then the next minute, I see you groping a random girl, and it _hurts_."

"I promised I would stop that." Miroku reminded her.  "Have I not been as good as my word?"

"Well…I guess, now…" Sango felt so ridiculous.  He was tricking her, he must be.  He was always tricking her.  "Miroku…"

"Sango, dear." How had he gotten so close?  She was still on her knees, knelt over her weapon, and he was kneeling as well, just in front of her, his face still up higher, his eyes drawing her inexplicably nearer, his breath so close she could just taste it on the air, like tea leaves and spicy sweet cakes.  Was he actually going to kiss her?  But no, he stopped, his mouth barely an inch from hers, his eyes so close they were all she could see, one hand going to her hair, and the other grasping the hand he was holding.  Her hand, she realized dazedly.  He was holding her hand.  He was touching her hair.  She wanted to kiss him.

So she did.

It was like jumping into a hot spring head first without even taking a breath before hand.  Her insides were warm, but her face, her hand, where he was holding her, it felt positively on fire.  She couldn't breathe, her eyes fell shut as her senses seemed to overload with the sensations she was receiving from his lips, soft as they looked and just as skilled at kissing as they were at speaking, moved slowly over hers.  He had been frozen at first, seemingly shocked that she took the initiative, but then the tiniest curve of his lips had been replaced by a soft, rhythmic massage of his mouth moving over hers.  It was wonderful.  She started to try and do what he was doing, it felt so lovely she thought that it would be unfair of her to have all the fun, and the soft sound he made told her that she was getting it right, at least.  He tasted like tea and sugar and cinnamon sticks and the smell of incense on his robes was intoxicating as his flavor.  And she couldn't _breathe_, but it just didn't seem to matter, and he was so much gentler than she would have expected.  He frightened her, with his groping and his talk of women and sex and all his comments that went just a _little_ too far, but this…this was better than she could have hoped for.  She had worried that if he ever _did_ kiss her, it would be rough and so expert that she wouldn't have any idea what to do, but he was taking his time, and he was not forcing her, and it was the best thing she had ever felt.

And then she just _had_ to breathe.  She fell forward, totally overbalanced from her lunge to close the distance between them in the first place, and completely disoriented by the kiss and the current lack of oxygen getting to her brain.  But she didn't fall far, not with Miroku right there, breathing just as heavily as her, his hands catching her around the waist and holding her against him, his chin on her head as they both caught their breath.  His left hand was still entangled in her own fingers, and she drew it up to his chest, burying her face in those wonderfully scented robes and hiding her blush in their layers and folds and darkness.

"You kissed me." He was the first to speak, and he sounded surprisingly dazed.  She had thought he would expect it, and that it wouldn't faze him for one moment.  Not Miroku, who could have countless women, and who knew more about sex than he knew about his own religious teachings.  Or at least, it seemed that way a good deal of the time.  She had to wonder, though.  Was that all talk?  He was so much gentler than she would have imagined…

"I did." She answered, her face still buried in his robes, her fingers shaking in his grip.  She could feel both of their hearts, with their hands pressed between them like that.  At some point, they had started to beat in time.  That was strange.

"I never thought you would." He went on, a bit more fluent, but still not up to his standard level of speech.  "I thought that it would be up to me."

"I told you before." She smiled into the dark cloth.  "I can take care of myself."

"I have never enjoyed that independence more than I do right now, Sango, I must admit." He chuckled slightly, his hand tightening on hers.  "I was wondering…"

"Yes." She burst out suddenly, pulling her face away from his chest.  "Whatever it is, yes.  I just…don't leave me tonight.  I couldn't bear it if one of us died without…and I just want to be with you as long as I can."

"Sango," he felt himself get several ideas, all of which were utterly inappropriate for the gravity of the situation.  "We might well survive tomorrow, and I would not want you to regret a decision rashly made.  I only ask that you—" he was cut off by her lips on his again, insistent, urgent, the kiss was as strong as the woman behind it.  When she broke away, she only took the time to breathe before attacking his jaw, his neck, his ears.  "Sa…Sango…"

"Miroku…" her voice was soft, breathy, nothing like the mouth ravaging his earlobe.  "Just shut up, for once."

"Yes." He had to admit, she presented a very convincing argument.

Who was he to argue?

----------

He had kissed her.  They had been staring at the stars, sitting so close she felt her face heat almost unbearably at the situation, and he had turned and kissed her, softly, on the corner of her mouth.  Of course, she had been shocked.  Ayame had never expected such a move from Ginta, but she had to admit after he apologized and ran off, his face almost as red as hers, that it had been sweet.  And it had been something good in her whole life full of bad.  And it made her think…

She needed to talk to Kouga.  To honestly sit down with the older man and talk about things that had been bothering her for a long time, things that couldn't be left alone for much longer.  She didn't want him to misunderstand her feelings, not when tomorrow was so certain to end so horribly, no matter what sweet stories Ginta told of stars and protection and all the wolves who had ever lived.  His voice was nice, when he was calm.  Lulling her, making her feel soft and sleepy and comfortable and happy.

There he was.  Kouga, that was.  He was alone now, which would make everything much easier for her.  Ginta was still off in the woods somewhere, feeling extremely embarrassed about that kiss of his.

Not that she'd disliked it.  He hadn't even given her a chance to speak before he ran off like that.

Oh well, boys would be boys.  Kagome and Sango were constantly saying things like that.  Things about how ridiculous men acted and how foolish they could be and how they never noticed the most obvious things and couldn't really see much of anything if it didn't have to do with sex or fighting.  Ayame had laughed with them, but only now was she beginning to truly understand some of it.  It was strange, knowing that she was finally giving up on him…

"Kouga?" she spoke up.  He wasn't paying attention to anything, just staring at the fire like it held the answers to all of life's problems in it if he could only look at it for long enough.  "Can…I talk to you?" she sat next to him, patting her skirt smooth even though it was still sort of haphazard, as she had long since learned was almost always the case when you wore furs everywhere.

"Um…huh?" he looked up, blinking at her before he seemed to finally see her, and then it took another few minutes before he processed this and nodded.  "Sure."

"It's about…um…us." She began, feeling a bit scared.  What if he didn't _want_ to let her go?  What if all this time, he really had loved her, but he was just playing some strange game with her?  Could she really turn her back on him after she had waited for so long?  "I was wondering…"

"What?" he seemed slightly annoyed.  It hurt to hear him talk in that tone, even though she was sure he didn't mean to be rude.  He just didn't have any interest in her.  His thoughts were occupied with Kagura, no doubt.

"I think that we shouldn't get mated." She blurted out the words, and it hurt less that way.  Quick and sharp, it stung, but it didn't ache like it had before.  Kouga was blinking at her in confusion.  She wondered if she'd spoken too fast again, and she'd have to say it _again._  She hoped not.

"You…don't?" he quirked his head to one side.  "But I thought that was all you wanted."

"I know." She sighed, picking at a dirty spot of fur on her skirt.  "And I know it would have made grandfather happy.  He wanted me taken care of, he wanted to be sure I'd stay in the tribe.  I think he worried I'd find an outsider and leave the wolves to live with them instead."

"Well…you can't just…who will you mate now?" Kouga was still too confused to say anything intelligent.

"I'll find someone." She blushed as she remembered Ginta's soft, inexperienced, terrified kiss.  "It's not that important.  I might even die tomorrow, and then it wouldn't be something to worry about.  I just…want you to know.  I know that you love her, and that's okay.  I'm not angry about it anymore.  I'm happy for you, really." She smiled, and watched as his face furrowed in further confusion.

"I…who?" he asked, and she blushed, not able to go on.  Kagome and Sango were right.  Men were idiots.

But sometimes…

Sometimes, she didn't really mind.

She wondered where Ginta had run off to, after all.

*****

The End (Of Part 20, That Is)


	21. Purity

For some reason, the ice cream has been inexplicably powdery as of late.  We are not sure _what_ happened to it, but it seriously has a powdery texture, it's totally inedible.  So tonight, after her kitchen shift, my friend kiped the private stash of smooth, creamy, _good_ ice cream, and then we had delicious ice cream fest of joy.  But now I'm so stuffed full…uh, it's an unbelievably delicious feeling.  So anyway, just remember that while I'm pretty sure that artificial flavors cause powdery ice cream…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 21

*****

"You still up?" Inuyasha dropped out of a tree, right next to Kagome.  She would have shrieked in surprise if she hadn't long since grown accustomed to him doing things like that all the time.  "It's late.  We have to get up early tomorrow."

"It isn't like Naraku's not going to be there…" Kagome stopped short and looked up at Inuyasha in worry.  "Do…you think maybe he knows?"

"No way!  We're way ahead of him this time." Inuyasha assured her, the blind faith he held in that sentiment enough to reassure Kagome.  It was amazing that his naiveté could actually make her feel better about the situation, but it did.  He really believed they would win, and so she knew that they would as well.  It wasn't even worth questioning.  "You know…I fought against it.  Being with all these other people for the last big battle.  But you know…I'm glad they're here."

"Me too." Kagome thought back to her talk with Kikyo earlier that evening.

_You truly love Inuyasha._

_Trust in that, Kagome, and there is nothing to fear._

"And I think…with all of us in one group.  It's gonna feel just like any other time." Inuyasha was having a hard time expressing himself, and since they hadn't continued walking since Kagome had stopped, he was feeling fidgety.  "You know.  Hearing about a shard and going to get it.  All those other times."

"I'm glad we're together." Kagome agreed, her cheeks going pink as she reached forward, her heart racing, and let her fingers twine through his.  "It's been so long since this all began, but for me…it started with you, Inuyasha.  I'm glad you'll be with me in the end."

"I'm always with you." He answered, flushing slightly as he realized exactly what she was saying.  "I mean…we work well together.  I guess."

"Yeah…I guess so." She sighed, feeling slightly let down.  Why did he have to make these things so difficult?

"Earlier…I talked to Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha spoke up when she was just about to continue her walk back to the campsite.  "He…we talked about lots of stuff.  About my father.  Being…and yeah."

"Inuyasha?"  What was he even trying to tell her?  She wondered what his brother could have said that would be appropriate for this moment.  But then, Inuyasha had never been one to appreciate moods and moments.

"Kagome, dammit, I'm trying to talk right now." He told her, his voice a frustrated growl.  His hand was in his hair, scratching nervously, his other hand still in hers.  "It's like this."

"Yeah?" she prompted after he followed that statement with a full minute of silent fidgeting.

"I…well…being with you," he was blushing so deeply, even she could see it in the low light.  "I…when this ends…and tomorrow even, I want…you should know."

"Inuyasha…you aren't really saying anything." She told him finally, impatient.

"You aren't _letting_ me!" Inuyasha snapped, pulling on her hand and snapping her body up against his.  She gasped in shock as his hands grabbed her arms in what could have been a violent gesture, except that it was immediately followed by his mouth pressing against hers so gently she couldn't decide whether he was being firm or soft at the moment.  She couldn't really think about it, the way his kiss was apparently frying all her neurons and leaving her without a single clear thought in her mind.  And then he broke it.  "Like _that_." He finished his statement, and pulling at her arm, he headed back toward the campsite.

"Inuyasha?" she was still having a hard time with communication.

"We gotta get rest before tomorrow." He felt like his face would burn off, but by the time they had gotten back, he was able to hop into a tree with little notice, and she went about rolling her sleeping bag out while blushing horribly.

Inuyasha had kissed her.

----------

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin was sitting next to the fire when he finally returned to the camp.  He looked around at Kagome and Shippo fast asleep in her sleeping bag. Kohaku was resting as well, sleeping against a tree.  His sister and the monk were missing, as were that obnoxious wind user and _her_ sister.  The wolves were all lying around the camp, sleeping in positions that made them resemble their animal counterparts much more than they ever did in their waking hours.  The dead priestess _appeared_ to be sleeping, but she was sitting a bit _too_ still, and her breathing was almost _too_ soft to seem convincing.  Inuyasha was up in a tree above them, dozing as much as he ever allowed himself to.  Jaken's snores were audible from a nearby tree trunk, where he was sleeping without any attention to the only person in the camp who was still up, the little girl who was currently beaming up at him.

"It's late, Rin." He finally responded to her excited greeting.  "Why aren't you asleep yet?"

"Because…I wanted to see you before I went to sleep." She admitted, her cheeks pinking sweetly.  "I was worried."

"Why were you worried?" he asked, moving next to the fire with her.  He was not cold, but he would not allow her to become chilly just because she wanted to be next to him.

"I just like to see Sesshoumaru-sama before he leaves for battles." Rin explained, her voice more solemn than he'd ever heard it.  "In case something bad happens."

"Oh." Sesshoumaru found himself strangely speechless.  He had always thought that Rin was such a child.  She did not see that people were mortal, that life was finite, and that he would one day die as well.  But apparently he misjudged her.  Organizing his thoughts, Sesshoumaru did something that he had never done before.  He asked Rin about herself.  "Rin, if I were gone, where would you go?"

"I don't know." She answered honestly, but her voice wavered sadly.

"You were alone when we met." He continued.  "Where are your parents?"

"They died." She told him, fidgeting with her sleeve and not meeting his eyes.  "And my brother, too.  I was there when it happened."

"I…did not know that." Sesshoumaru could not believe that he had never asked her something so basic, so simple.  It was no wonder she showered him with so much love.  He was all she had.

"Sesshoumaru-sama would never leave me, would he?" she pleaded, her voice as young and lost as he remembered from the first time he'd heard it.

"I will always try to be there for you, Rin." He told her finally.  "But if something does happen, I want you to be happy and strong on your own."

"I love you, Sesshoumaru-sama." She cuddled against his side, and after some time, he lifted an arm for her to get closer.  "I love you best of all."

"Sleep now, Rin." He let her rest her head in his lap, patting her head softly and more affectionately than anyone would have believed him capable of.  "And do not worry.  I will be here when you wake."

"Good." And with that, she drifted off.

----------

"And then a beautiful man came down from the moon, and even though they shot thousands of arrows straight at him, the imperial soldiers could not harm him." Kagura was lounging against a thick tree stump, with Kanna cuddled up against her.  After she had left Kikyo, she had found her sister resting in this spot, and ever since then, she had been telling her a story that Kikyo had told her once.  "So the princess' parents cried and begged to the man.  'Please don't take our daughter away!  She is not of this world, but we love her just the same.'  But the beautiful man did not care.  He had come for the princess, and he would take her back, no matter what.  So he handed her a robe of beautiful feathers that would help her return to her home, the moon, and told her it was time.  But the princess was sad, and she wrote a letter to her parents and one to the emperor as well, telling them how she would miss them, and then she put on the robe.  Immediately, she forgot all about her life on the earth, and all the feelings that had burdened her, and she flew to the moon with the beautiful man, never to return."

"That's a good story." Kanna sighed after some time.  "But it is very sad, isn't it?"

"It depends on how you look at it." Kagura shrugged, enjoying being close to her sister, no matter what the excuse was.  "I think that it would be nice to leave the world behind, to leave every memory of every bad thing behind.  Like you could just put on a new robe, and you'd be a whole new person."

"But if you did that," Kanna spoke up thoughtfully.  "You would forget me.  You would forget Kikyo.  You would forget Kouga, as well.  I do not think that would make you happy."

"You're right." Kagura hugged her slightly.  "You are the one who knows me best, aren't you?  Although…Kikyo is really close.  She sees things that I thought I had hidden from the whole world.  You just _know_ them.  You watch everything so quietly, and you learn more than anyone expects."

"Would it be worth it, then?" Kanna asked, twisting slightly to blink large black eyes at her sister.  "If you could forget everything that made you hurt inside.  Would it still make you happy?"

"Well…I think that when the princess puts the robe on, she doesn't only forget the things she _has_ felt.  She forgets how to feel altogether.  I'd never be sad again." Kagura considered.  "But I could never be happy, either.  I don't know.  I think that if I forgot even just the bad things, it wouldn't make the good things seem as wonderful as they do.  You need to have something to measure it against, you know?"

"I would not do it." Kanna answered after a while.  "Even if I forgot being punished by Naraku, I think life is too precious to let it be taken from you.  Even the most painful moments are valuable in their own right."

"Kanna…you never told me." Kagura was stroking her sister's hair softly, wondering at how pale it was.  "When he punished you…"

"No, do not ask." Kanna's voice held a hint of sorrow.  "Please.  Let us just be together right now.  It was worth it to see you again."

"I'm sorry." Kagura smiled sadly.  "I won't ask again."

"Kagura?" Kanna spoke up after a long silence.  "If I die, will you cry for me?"

"Of course." Kagura nodded, feeling a tight pain in her chest at the very idea.  "What…about me?"

"Yes." Kanna nodded slowly.  "It would be very sad for me if you died.  I would cry for a long time."

"I never see you cry." Kagura pointed out.

"I can cry." She defended.  "I still have a heart, even if it seems like I am without anything.  Like a puppet on Naraku's strings…"

"You aren't that." Kagura assured her.  "No one thinks that.  You did so much to get this far.  You know…"  there was a long silence, and Kagura weighed her next words carefully before she spoke.  "If you're afraid…about tomorrow.  You don't have to come."

"Neither do you." Kanna replied.  "And you have more to fear than me."

"Why is that?  We'd both die just the same, just as easily." Kagura reminded her sister.

"Because, sister." Kanna moved a bit, and soon she was standing.  "You have more to lose than I do.  No one cares what happens to me except for you.  Many people would be sad if you were to leave this world.  You have many friends, you know."

"That's not true." Kagura couldn't decide what stung more, the fact that she truly had few friends, or the fact that her sister was so alone in the world.  "Think of Kohaku.  He would miss you, I'm sure.  You two are always together."

"He loves Rin." Kanna told her sister.  "I think he always will.  But I am grateful to him.  He saved me and brought me to you."

"Then I am grateful to him, too." Kagura stood up slowly and stretched.  "I feel safer when you're here.  I trust Kikyo…and Kouga.  But I sometimes feel the world is out to get me.  I know that you'll never turn your back on me, though.  That makes me feel good."

"I am glad." Kanna took her sister's hand and they walked back to the campsite together to get some sleep.

It would be a long day.

Tomorrow.

*****

The End (Of Part 21, That Is)


	22. Approach

The ultimate battle!  A bunch of really pissed off youkai/hanyou/humans/dead people square off against possibly the least popular guy in all of the Sengoku Jidai!  Who will triumph?  Will I just kill everyone because I'm horrible like that?  Will Naraku decide to change his dastardly ways and become an ice cream manufacturer instead?  Will Shippo prove invaluable, striking the definitive hit?  Will Rin actually stay put and _not_ follow them into battle?  Will they make it there before terror sets in and they all start screwing like bunnies, which as you can see, some of them have been pretty close to in the "prelude to doom" chapters that we just got through?  What _did_ Miroku and Sango spend the night doing?  Will Kikyo's strategy work out, or will they all learn that even fool proof plans go horribly wrong all the time?  Will I stop talking and get on with it?  These questions mean nothing, because in the end, they are only that:  questions.  The answers can only tell you so much, and as you all know…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 22

*****

Sesshoumaru surveyed his team with no small amount of doubt.  Five youkai, and yet, he was the only one who was any use in battle.  Kikyo must have thought that a _very_ funny joke.  At his side, Jaken was muttering under his breath the way he did when he was exceptionally nervous.  A few feet ahead, Hakkaku was surrounded by about ten wolves that were walking beside or behind him.  Three more of the animals were in the back, behind even Ginta and Ayame, who seemed to think that no one could see the way they were holding hands and whispering like lovesick puppies.  It was rather ridiculous.

Jaken could be counted on to hide his fear and fight for all he was worth as long as Sesshoumaru was in sight.  Of course, the second the toad was out of his vision, he would likely cower and hide wherever he could.  It was utterly obvious that Jaken would rather be back with Ah-Un babysitting Rin than walking at his side to battle Naraku.  However, Sesshoumaru doubted he would go back even if he was given leave.  A silly creature, but at least he was loyal.  That much could not be doubted.  And while he was not very strong, the Staff of Heads was a rather useful weapon, and even Jaken could become a formidable force as long as he had it backing him up.

Hakkaku had a lot of heart.  That was about all he had.  He was smart enough to know _when_ to run, but while he clearly did not want anything to do with Naraku, he was still at the head of their little group, just as though he hadn't a fear in the world.  That was definitely admirable.  Idiotic, but admirable.  He was reminiscent of Jaken, though Sesshoumaru granted that the wolf was more powerful.  Jaken was by far the weakest member of the group, of that Sesshoumaru had no doubt.  However, while Jaken had blind loyalty and the Staff of Heads, Hakkaku had only blind loyalty to avail him.  Sesshoumaru doubted that would be enough.  But at least he was not worried that Hakkaku would run away.  He was the type to try and finish anything he seriously started.  And this battle with Naraku was something that Ginta and him had been following Kouga toward for years.

Ginta also had a lot of heart.  They were both much braver than Jaken, but Sesshoumaru felt that was probably slightly due to the fact that they were also less intelligent in many ways.  Of course, their intelligence would mean little in the battle today.  They would not be the strategists in any case, and as long as they followed orders, which they were obviously well used to, there would be no problems between any of them.  The interesting thought of Ginta's loyalties struck Sesshoumaru as an amusing question at the moment.  If both Kouga and Ayame needed his help, it was hard to say whom the wolf would save.  Though, it seemed like the chances of Ayame needing him were much greater than the other situation, as Kouga was easily stronger than Hakkaku, Ginta, and Ayame combined.  Yes, Sesshoumaru had little doubt that Kikyo was feeling rather funny at the moment.

And then, rounding out the group, was Ayame.  She cared more for her hair and her friends then she did for the future of the world, but at least she had good intentions.  Sesshoumaru could not understand what it was that appealed to Ginta about her, since she was utterly vapid at times, but she seemed to be a kind person.  Even though she was young, and therefore foolish, she was innocent enough and not really a problematic influence on Rin, unlike Kagura.

Of course, Kagura was not in his group.  He felt it was ridiculous that the strongest youkai other than himself were both in Kikyo's group.  It was extreme injustice.  Of course, they had to deal with Kohaku and the rather weak Kanna, whose only real asset was her ability to reflect attacks.  But then, that was still more than the wolves in _his_ group could do.  Ayame had some leaf attacks, but she still wasn't much to see, and in the end, Ginta was actually stronger than her, though just barely.  It seemed that all of the groups had at least one very powerful fighter, but he still found it unfair that his brother's group only had one really weak fighter, and Shippo was still stronger than Jaken, and he was extremely clever for such a young kitsune.  Since he was a fox, Sesshoumaru figured that was another inherent trait, but he did not dwell on it.  It would not do to dwell on things, that day.  If he did, he might become distracted, and then he might fail Rin.

Not that Rin was the reason he was killing Naraku.  He just couldn't bear the thought of her growing up without him to protect her and watch over her.  She was still so young, and it would be horrible for her to grow up alone.  Of course, Ah-Un would watch over her forever, if that was what was needed.  If worse came to worse, and Sesshoumaru and Jaken were both killed, Ah-Un would always care for her.  It was hardly the same thing, though.  She was a human.  She needed friends.

_Sesshoumaru-sama would never leave me, would he?_

Was he her friend?  It wasn't like that…not really.  He liked her.  He cared for her deeply.  He would risk himself to save her.  She was…unique.  Inspiring.  She could make the sun seem to shine brighter, the flowers bloom more swiftly.  She did not seem fazed by anything.  But last night, at the thought of him gone…

_Where would you go?_

_I don't know._

And her parents were dead.  Of course, that made sense.  She had seemed very alone when he met her.  Immediately clinging to him even though most children would cower and run away.  Maybe that was what fascinated him so much.  What had she seen that had made her decide to try and help him, to feed him and nurse him back to health?  She had not been any help, but it had been nice seeing her every day.  He had hoped to glimpse her before he left with Jaken, but things had gone differently than he had expected.  And now, they were all together.  He could not imagine life without Rin.  It was a strange thing, how the human heart worked.  It seemed to carry emotions that were so strong that they could spill over and affect him as well.  That was an odd way to think, but it seemed true.

_I love you, Sesshoumaru-sama._

_I love you best of all._

Those words…they were oddly warm inside of him.  It was a strange thing, to be so attached to such foolish emotions.

_Why should it be so important?_

_What use does she serve except as a weakness?_

Jaken had been correct, of course.  Rin served very little purpose in battle.  Her main role was in hiding or becoming a hostage.  It was the same sort of liability he would have one day criticized Inuyasha for having toward Kagome.  However, Kagome was much more of a fighter than Rin.  Which left the question as to why he cared so much.  Perhaps…

_I love you best of all_

Those words…maybe her love had spilled over, and he had found himself loving her as well?  Like a daughter, perhaps.  But that was wrong…she could never be a daughter to him, even though she was still so young.  It was something he could not fully define, and that bothered him.  He would fight to forget about it.

And to return to Rin, of course.

----------

"I was talking with Kanna last night." Kagura had been quiet for much of walk, so far.  It made Kouga feel better to hear her voice.  "She told me some pretty interesting things."

"Like what?" he asked, wondering vaguely if it was a good idea to have Kohaku and Kanna in the front of their group.  They were easily the weakest fighters in the team.  Kikyo was behind them, being creepy and silent as always.

"We talked about you, for a while." She offered him a small smile, to let him know she hadn't said anything that would be a breach of trust.  Not that he could think of many things she could say that would bother him.

"And what's the verdict?" he asked, his tone teasing and serious all at once.

"I told her…you said that everyone's looking for something.  She said that you are looking for lots of things." Kagura explained.  "Lots of things that you thought you needed."

"She's right, I guess." Kouga admitted.  "I'm looking for revenge for my comrades, right now.  Obviously." He listed.  "I'm looking for a way to build the tribe back up after all we've been through.  Something that will give everyone heart.  I'm looking for a mate, too."

"A mate?" Kagura felt herself flush deep red.  "Like…like Ayame or someone like that?"  Ayame's feelings for Kouga were no secret in the group.

"Someone." Kouga mused.  "I thought maybe Kagome…but you know, she loves Inuyasha.  I think he loves her, too.  I can see when I've lost and bow out with _some_ dignity left over."

"Well then," Kagura felt embarrassed to ask about it, but it was interesting, in its own way.  "Who do you think?"

"It could have been Ayame." Kouga admitted.  "She's a wolf, so no problems there.  Not like I really care what the others say.  I just want…someone who I can feel.  Someone who can see my soul, and who understands me.  Who doesn't think I'm spoiled."

"That'd be nice." Kagura sighed deeply.  It was a wonderful idea, but no one would ever think of her that way.  Not when they really knew her.  "Is there…a ceremony for that sort of thing?"

"For mates?" Kouga blinked at her.  "Oh, you mean like…that human thing…what's it called?"

"Marriage." Kagura answered.  Obviously she was spending more time than was strictly healthy with Kagome and Sango.  Stupid girls and their girly ideas, infecting her and making her turn all…girly.

"Oh, yeah, that's it." Kouga nodded.  "Well, it's sorta…eh, I don't think I can really talk about it.  There's lots of…private stuff that happens.  And then you're mates!"

"Oh." Kagura had an idea what _that_ was about.  "So…when you guys…you and your mate, I mean.  Will your son get to be heir to the tribe?"

"Yeah, if he can handle it." Kouga told her.  "It's about a lot more than blood, you know.  You have to be strong.  Smart."

"How'd _you_ get it, then?" she teased.

"Funny." He snorted at her and reached over, actually ruffling her hair.  She was torn between righteous fury and blushing embarrassment at that.  "Well, anyway, my son would be trained from the beginning to be a good leader, and to take care of the tribe.  To be strong, and to care about the whole tribe above himself."

"Like you." Kagura prompted.

"Yeah, I guess." He sighed ruefully.  "Kinda like me."

"You know, it wasn't _your_ fault." She began.

"It wasn't yours, either." He told her.

"That hardly makes sense, if you just think—"

"I don't think, I know." He grabbed her shoulder and squeezed it.  "I know you, Kagura.  I trust you, and I don't care what happened in the past.  You would never do that, now."

"No, I wouldn't."

----------

"Hey, Miroku." Sango edged slightly closer to her extremely smug looking companion.  "Do you think something's up with Kagome and Inuyasha?"

"Mm, perhaps." He smiled brightly at her and took her hand in his, kissing the knuckles.  "Maybe they had a talk."

"Like…like we did?" Sango flushed deeply to think of what had happened the night before.  Then she blanched as she realized that _anyone_ could see she was holding Miroku's hand.  When she realized that it hardly mattered at this point, she relaxed and squeezed his hand lightly.

"Probably not _that_ productive." Miroku was so unbelievably pleased with himself, she couldn't decide whether she should be angry or flattered or just annoyed.  "But they seem to be getting along well enough."  The pair in question was walking close enough for their hands to brush against each other and talking in hushed whispers.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Sango wondered, her own voice lowered so that only Miroku would hear her.  Well…she assumed only he would hear.  Inuyasha _did_ have very good ears, and even though they were trained on whatever Kagome was saying at the moment, they could likely pick her own voice up if she wasn't careful.  Shippo had some pretty good ears, as well, but he was taking advantage of the ride he was getting on Kirara's back, just behind them, to take a good nap.

"Maybe they are second-guessing their choice to wait for so long to…solidify their union." Miroku suggested, his grin leaving no doubts as to what he meant.

"I seriously doubt that." Sango sighed deeply.  Would he _ever_ learn when to be serious?  "Not all of us are obsessed with sex, Miroku."

"Think how depressing it would be if they died without ever learning the great love that their bodies can share." Miroku told her, his voice full of sympathy.

"Miroku," she pulled a face.  "You are so disgusting sometimes."

"You did not think so last night." And then the smug grin was back.  Sango had decided she wanted to smack him.

But she wouldn't.  After all, she loved him.  She didn't want to go into this with him doubting her feelings.

----------

"And so, it comes to this." Naraku murmured, letting the bee that had just delivered its message fly away from him.  "Five are coming…but how many will leave?"  The bee had spotted five travelers that were now extremely close to his location.  Inuyasha and his usual companions.  How boring.  He had hoped that in the end, alliances would be forged between the enemies that shared only a hate for him.  He could have exploited those weak relationships and trusts to his own advantage, and then maybe killed all or most of his opposition at once.  But he could do it a little at a time.

And while the others held little interest for him, Inuyasha could help him, in the end.

He would help him.

"Soon," he sighed and stood up slowly.  "Soon, all will be seen."

*****

The End (Of Part 22, That Is)


	23. Loss

Okay, what is _up_ with Teresa?  Is she just screwing with everyone?  Will anyone get to fight _ever_?  Or is the point of this story really that I drive you all insane with my lack of getting on with it?  Could it be that this whole thing is totally something that someone imagined, and not what's going on at all?  No…wait, I suppose it _is_ technically that, since um, I imagined it.  And it never really happened.  But…yeah, you get what I'm saying.  Even if it is all an illusion…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 23

*****

Bees flying, buzzing everywhere, carrying news, messages that conflicted or correlated or confused their receiver.  Naraku stood in the middle of all of them, having just stepped out of his castle with the intention of confronting Inuyasha and his friends.  He had not realized there were so many waiting to tell him.  But which could he believe?  The bees never lied, but they were not beings that were able to tell when they had fragments of a story.  They could not collaborate and create something that was coherent.  That was left to him.

Something was coming, that was certain.  There were different stories he was receiving.  Some said one group, some said two.  Some said that there were no children, some said two, some said one.  Some said there were animals with the humans and youkai, the numbers of which they could not agree on.  Some said it would be five minutes before they arrived, some said twenty.  Some said they approached from the east, others from the west or even the north.  It was ridiculous.  Some sense had to be made of all this information.

If he just remembered it was all true, then that would obviously make things easier.  Hopefully.

Perhaps now would be a good time to escape.

No, he had to think.

Now, they all agreed that the group (or groups) had five people each.  That was something to go off of.  So it was probably likely to be the Inuyasha-tachi.  There was one child in their group, and that large animal of theirs.  That would make sense with some of the stories.  But not all of them.  So maybe…there was another group?  Or even…two different groups in addition to that one?  He tried to think of all the people he expected to come after him.  He could think of at least five others, but he wasn't sure he could think of ten.

This was stupid, and none of it was making sense.

He should just flee.

"Hello, there." The voice, like velvet stretched over a pile of knives.  Dangerous, cool, angry, and utterly familiar.  "Going somewhere?"

"Kagura." Naraku turned, trying not to notice that he felt suddenly strange.  Nervous…anxious…vaguely…afraid?  Kagura was standing with Kanna.  On her other side, the dead miko Kikyo was looking rather threatening without actually showing an expression of emotion on her pale face.  Beside Kanna, Kohaku stood like a shaky blade of grass, waiting to be squished, but next to him, Kouga looked like he couldn't even conceive of the concept of defeat.  It was clear that he could win.  But this was not what he'd been expecting.  At all.  Naraku did not like surprises.  "It has been a long time."

"We all came to greet you, Naraku." Kikyo spoke up.  "Be sure to show your manners.  We were long in coming, but it will all go well, I believe."

He wished she wouldn't speak so vaguely.  It made him feel annoyed that when he played the same game, he was not quite as good.  Not quite as convincing.

Was Kikyo playing?

Of course she was.  She had to be.

"I'm so glad we got here first." Kouga cracked his knuckles.  "I've been waiting to confront you for so long."

Naraku wondered how they had reached him.  They would have to cross his barrier.  Maybe he was only seeing things.  Maybe none of them were here at all, and he was simply straining himself.  It was probably all a strange and foolish dream.  Or perhaps Kikyo had broken it.  She could do those things, he recalled.  Why did it take him so long to be logical at a time like this?  It was more critical now than ever.  He had to see clearly.

"Nothing to say, children?" Naraku found refuge in cruel words, turning on Kohaku and Kanna, likely the easiest to break of the entire group.  "Are you all along for the ride as well?"

"Don't talk to me." Kohaku growled, his voice surprisingly strong.  "Your voice makes me sick."

"Enough talk, let's kill him!" Kouga, apparently worn out on pleasantries, took a flying leap through the air, his arm pulled back and ready to slash a strong arc through his target.  Of course, Kouga was not much, especially now that he lacked his shards.  However, his attention was so focused on his dodging that he utterly missed it when Kagura shot her wind blades at him, followed by a purity arrow from Kikyo just as Kohaku leapt into the fray.  Kouga managed to leap out of the way of Kagura's attack, and Naraku felt several sensations as the blades hit him dead on.

First, he realized that Kagura had grown much stronger than he would ever have expected.  Second, he wondered at feeling pain from something that was, essentially, just a piece of himself.  Third, he wanted to kill her.

Her heart.  He had her heart.  Kanna's too.  This shouldn't be so difficult, he realized.  He just needed to think.  Stay clear.

And then he was holding it.  Kagura's heart, bright and red and pulsing and begging to be smashed in his strong, cruel grip.

"No!" he heard the scream as though it were background noise, something totally separate from the situation at hand.  He couldn't even recognize the voice.  Had it been Kanna?  Kohaku?  Kouga?  Kikyo?  Kagura?  It didn't matter.  He squeezed.

"Asshole!" that was Kouga, slashing at him so horribly.  And what was going on?  Where had these others come from?  Kikyo was holding Kagura, lowering her as Kanna hovered nervously.  Kohaku was attacking.  Kouga was going crazy, it seemed.  There was Inuyasha, flying at him, his sword unsheathed, but useless in such close and crowded quarters.  He was yelling angrily at the others to back off so he could get a hit in.  Naraku squeezed at that heart.  It was warm, almost hot.

"We have to work _together_!" Kagome's voice was positively frantic.  Kagura was screaming out in a continual wail of agony.  She would pass out, soon.  Sango was worried her brother was in danger.  Miroku was worried Sango was in danger.  That could be fun.  But first, he squeezed.

He squeezed, and he felt the tension finally give, and burst.  It was like a white-hot explosion in his hand, but in its way, it felt wonderful to him.  Like he'd been given new life because he'd taken hers.  She wasn't screaming anymore.  Kouga actually stopped attacking to run and check on her, starting an argument with Kikyo over what they should do, and that was when Kanna ran at him, full speed.

He had never seen Kanna run at _anything_.  He thought she didn't have the _ability_ to run, like her lack of youki made her too weak for it.  He had certainly never seen her cry, not even when the punishment was at its worst.  He suspected that she cried on her own.  But never where he could see.  It was a shame.  Her tears were glorious and lovely.

"Do you really want to die so badly?" he laughed aloud as she tried to crack him over the head with her mirror.  Pathetic.  It was the work of moments to wrap his limbs around her, and just as easily as she'd been created, Kanna was a part of him again.

"Sorry to be late." Sesshoumaru's voice brought Naraku to reality after the glee his latest kill brought him.  "What have I missed?"  It was not worth noting the weaklings that were _following_ him, but Sesshoumaru was always a worthy opponent.  This could be fun, if he thought of it like a game.  All his favorite opponents lined up and ready to die.

"Kagura!  Come on, the sword, use that thing right now!" Kouga was in a fit of senseless hyperactivity, nearly leaping at the dog demon and dragging him to their fallen comrade.  "Bring her back."

"It is not necessary at this—"

"I don't give a shit what you think!  Bring her back or I'll kill _you_, and to fuck with Naraku!" Kouga had never struck Naraku as a particularly powerful fighter, but at that moment, he did not envy Sesshoumaru.  A sword that Naraku had always dismissed as secondary in Kouga's choice of weapon was suddenly at Sesshoumaru's throat, and the youkai looked vaguely surprised.

"Do it, Sesshoumaru." Kagome was the relative voice of reason.  "It's for the team."

"Stupid." Was all he said before Naraku learned firsthand why it was that Sesshoumaru never fought with that _other_ sword.  It was not for killing.  It was for healing.  And before he could comprehend it fully, she was standing up again, a bit shaky, but seeming as though she'd only fallen asleep and was perfectly healthy.  Naraku summoned up her heart in a rage.  He killed her once, he'd do it again.

But her heart did not come to his hand.  Somehow…like how it was that Kohaku was not responding to his messages.  That damn sword…it could ruin everything.  He would be fighting them over and over.  Unless he killed Sesshoumaru, who knew how to use it.  Or broke the sword.

"Where's Kanna?" Kagura's first words made Kouga's face fall.  He'd been helping her to stand, but he paused.

"Naraku…took her back." He answered finally.

"Into…him?" Kagura's voice was thin, her face strained.  Naraku was still dodging Kohaku, but he had no problem enjoying it and doing that at once.  Kohaku was no challenge.  He was interesting, but first…that sword.

"I'll take you back, too!" he threatened; flying at her like she was his target.  Everyone formed up to protect her, and he dodged two arrows just as he switched at the last second and ripped the damnable sword right out of Sesshoumaru's possession, doing the first thing that occurred to him to get rid of it.  He ate it, his body momentarily shifting to handle such…disagreeable food, but he handled it with little problem.  It burned inside of him.  Something about its powers, no doubt, did not seem to take well to being inside of such poisonous surroundings.  It probably wouldn't digest, but he could deal with it later, once he'd killed everyone around him at the moment.

"He _ate_ it!"  Kohaku seemed so utterly shocked, Naraku wondered if this was really the same boy who had been his puppet so recently.  "Why would he even want to?"

"So we can't use it." Kouga's voice was grim as his face.  "Nice strategy, fuckhead."

"I thought you would all enjoy it." He smiled a cold, humorless grin covering his face.  "Now then, if any of you are willing to give me more of a challenge than this," Naraku hit Kohaku so sharply the boy flew from him, hitting the nearest tree and crumpling in a heap.  "And we are back to two down.  Who's next?"

Sango had been expected.  She flew at him as crazily as he had known she would, and he knocked her down just as easily as he'd predicted her behavior.  But she was caught by Miroku, who looked homicidal until he realized that she was still alive.  So was Kohaku.  Naraku was just like a spider.  He would incapacitate all of them, and then take his time killing them at his leisure.  This revelation was not something that Naraku noted, as he was too busy fighting closely with Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, and Kouga, who were having a hard time not fighting with each other long enough to stage an attack.  The other wolves hung back, looking unnecessary, and probably feeling it.  Well, might as well take care of _them_.

Dodging cleverly and splitting his form in a way to avoid contact with his three main attackers, Naraku rained down on Ayame, Ginta, and Hakkaku.  He bit the girl, carrying her shocked and already poisoned form as he beat down the two males with little trouble and so quickly that his evaded opponents had no chance to intervene until he'd dropped the girl and it was really too late.  He looked around for more trash.  Best to get rid of the weaklings first.  However, at this point, Miroku had figured out enough to decide that Shippo and Jaken were in no way safe.  So, with Kagome's help he made them leave as quickly as possible, sending both on Kirara with Kohaku and Sango's prone forms to return to the campsite where Rin was waiting with Ah-Un.  He felt better now that she was relatively safe.

He also felt like destroying Naraku utterly.

Naraku was attacking again.  This time, he was looking much like a twisted perversion of several youkai, barely clinging onto his human form as he bared fangs and claws and went straight for Kagome, who was trying to drag the wolves' bodies out of Naraku's range.  He would have hit her, but he was stopped by a furious hanyou, and his teeth caught on Inuyasha's throat, needing to bite and rend _something_, if it couldn't be that deliciously innocent girl.  Inuyasha would have to do.  And Sesshoumaru was flying at him, furious, sword swinging as Inuyasha tore away finally, bleeding horrendously and looking probably worse than Miroku had ever seen him.

"We need a better strategy." Kikyo's voice reached Kagura, Kagome, and Miroku, but Inuyasha, Kouga, and Sesshoumaru were all about their attack, though Inuyasha was faring rather worse now that he had been so critically injured.  "Just running at him over and over won't work.  If we all attack at once, we could win."

"You're right." Kagome agreed immediately, still shaken from what had just happened, but recovering as quickly as was needed for a battle situation.

"Seven of us." Kagura was distant sounding, still not recovered from hearing about Kanna.  "Not even half."

"It's enough." Miroku assured her.  "It will be enough."

"You three stop that!  We need to plan!" Kikyo called out to the three men surrounding Naraku.  The distraction let him fly forward, and since she had spoken, he latched onto Kikyo, biting into her as he had done with Ayame and Inuyasha before.  She only winced once, grabbing Naraku's head and holding it to her shoulder, where he was biting.  She gave the others what could have passed for an extremely calm look.  "I'll hold him.  You all hit us with everything you have, all at once."

"That's stupid!" Kagura raged immediately.  "You can't do something so totally—"

"It's the only way." Kikyo countered.

"It is _not_!" Kagura insisted.

"She is right." Sesshoumaru spoke up, his sword held ready.  "This will work."

"That doesn't make it a good plan!" Kagura argued.  "She'll die!"

"I already am dead, if you had forgotten." Kikyo reminded her, voice strained and hands glowing bright with the effort of holding Naraku, who had his share of biting and was now more concerned with their current suicidal plan.  It really could work, and he knew that.  "I was prepared for this as soon as I was resurrected.  It is the fate of the dead to move on to the next world, whether they cling to regrets or not.  At this point, my only regret is that I have not killed _him_.  I can do it, if you help."

"I can't kill you!" Kagura was crying now, hysterical.  "You're my friend!"

"Death does not kill friendship." Kikyo assured her.  "Or love, or hate.  It makes the soul dwell on those things.  I can be sure, it has happened to me before."

"Do you…really want this?" Inuyasha spoke up his voice rasping and harsh from his injury, surprising Kagura into remembering _his_ relationship with the dead miko.  "I would do anything, I owe you my life."

"Then do this." She spoke, her voice sincere, her eyes clear despite the poison and the pain and the horrible fatigue that threatened.  "And all will be repaid.  You too, Kagura."

"Right." Kagome moved first, stringing her bow carefully.  Sesshoumaru was still standing ready, Kouga moved to fight as well, and Inuyasha held his sword up shakily, though he was still arguably bleeding more than anyone ever should.  Miroku wielded his staff ready, a handful of spells ready in his other hand.  And then Kagura whipped open her fan.  "On the count of three!"

"One!" Naraku struggled, and Kikyo felt her grip being strained.

"Two!" Inuyasha was having a hard time focusing his vision, but he steeled himself for what he was about to do.  Kagura was crying still, completely hysterical.

"Three!" and then, as though all of them were of the same body, they flew into action, volleys of arrows and barrages of swords and spells and staffs and claws and wind and all Kikyo could do was hold on and hope that she could open that doorway to hell.  With Naraku so suddenly weak, she knew…there was a chance of dragging him down.  And then, all would be well again.

All would be right.

As the ground began to glow, she smiled.

After this, it would all be all right.

*****

The End (Of Part 23, That Is)


	24. Poison

Oh no!  Vicious doom battle!  Things are moving pretty fast, so what will be the result of all this fighting panic?  Is Kanna really gone?  Will everyone be able to recover?  Is Kikyo really going to sacrifice herself like this?  Will Inuyasha's singing voice be forever ruined?  Will Kagura have a nervous breakdown?  Is she already having one?  She just needs to breathe and see for herself…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 24

*****

One hit was all she was able to throw, but when she saw her blades cut through Naraku and Kikyo indiscriminately, Kagura collapsed.  She was screaming again, a tormented sound that pierced through the wind and the ground splitting and the spells and the blows landing and being thrown.  How was this fair?  How was this right?  She had said she would be one of the first to die.  She _had_ died, but now, she was fine.  No one else could enjoy that, though.  Naraku had seen to that.  Even if they could be saved, what about Kanna?  She was lost inside of him.  Kikyo would go to hell, and she would not leave a body behind.  Her body, as it was, could not be revived in any case except through the healing powers of souls.

Her wounds wouldn't hurt her for long.  She'd be in hell, soon.  Tormented for eternity, paying for sins that Kagura felt sure could not warrant so much pain as what the woman had already suffered through.  Or maybe she was spared that, and existed peacefully enough, waiting for the time when she would be reincarnated.  Into Kagome…someone so different, and so similar all at once.  As long as Kagome could be saved, Kagura was saving a piece of Kikyo, wasn't she?

Or maybe she was just going crazy, breaking under the pressure even though they were so close to the end.  Through tears, she could see the light escaping the ground, Kikyo's soul snatchers forming a mournful, intermingling dance over their mistress' head as she sank deeper, blood pouring and seeping and mixing with that of the monster she clung to so desperately.  It was all down to her, it seemed.  She would end it all with her selfless sacrifice.  It seemed so like Kikyo, to save them quietly, without asking for anything.

_What are you looking for?_

An answer…she needed an answer.  Was this all worth it?  What were they even fighting for, really?  Did Naraku really matter so much?  Would she be willing to lose Kikyo's life so that Naraku might leave?  And Kanna's as well?

_Something real.  Something that makes me feel alive.  Something that lasts.  Something wonderful.  I can't lose it now._

What was true, anyway?  What was real?  Nothing.  Nothing lasted.  Nothing was wonderful.  Everything was death.  Everything hurt.

_It makes life sweeter to have hardships._

Maybe.  But it still stung.  It still ached so deep that it felt like she was being pulled apart.  But to know that Kanna was gone, to see Kikyo disappearing into the ground, to feel the ache that left.  That ache was not wonderful, but it _did_ make her feel alive.  It was something she could feel.  Something she could touch.  Something real.

But it wasn't what she was looking for.  She'd never wanted this.

_I will protect your life with my own.  I will not let you die without having learned what that thing is._

She was still sobbing brokenly when someone picked her up, wrapping her in a warm embrace, whispering words of comfort that did not reach her, and leaping away from that place that made her insides hurt so much.

Kanna was gone.

Kikyo was gone.

It could have been so much worse, she knew that.  But still…

_Do…you know?_

_Yes.  Something worth living for._

Was it worth it?

The world was blurring, focusing on the warmth around her and the coldness inside.  Those two points opposed each other, but she clung to them.

They made her feel alive.  Kikyo had wanted her to find that.

----------

Kouga had scooped up Kagura and fled the scene almost immediately after the ground closed up and an eerie silence filled the air.  His exit prompted motion from the others, though.  Inuyasha collapsed in a heap, blood still leaking steadily from the horrible wound on his throat.  Kagome ran to his side.  Sesshoumaru left as though he had nothing at the site that was of interest, obviously running back to Rin.  Miroku moved to help the three unconscious wolves that were on the sidelines of the battle.  Ginta stirred as he approached, and he was the first to speak out loud what they were all thinking.

"Is…he gone?" his voice was confused, but the silence was so thick, so oppressive, Miroku had a hard time breaking through it as well.

"Kikyo took him." At his words, Hakkaku stirred as well, finding strength that he'd lost before.  "He's gone."

"Gone?" Hakkaku's voice shook slightly, like he couldn't believe it, like he could barely move.  Probably both.

"Where's…Ayame?" Ginta sat up slowly, wincing at the pain as he did, and saw the girl still passed out nearby.  "Is she…gonna be okay?"

"I will check on her." Miroku moved past the wolf to crouch next to the unmoving girl.  Her bite was bleeding, but there was something about it that bothered Miroku more than that.  "Her skin…it has turned purple here."

"What's that mean?" Ginta was trying to crawl over, but he wasn't doing a very good job of it.  Hakkaku had given up on moving.  "Is she…okay?"

"The bite." Miroku was feeling rather scared at the moment, digging through his robes for some sort of youki canceling spell that could get rid of the poison without killing Ayame in the process.  "It was poisonous…Naraku's miasma is inside of her right now."

"That's bad…" Ginta had managed to get close enough to see the angry purple flesh now.  "Right?"

"Indeed." Miroku stood and ran to Kagome, who was making the same discovery as him in relation to Inuyasha's wound.  "Do you have anything?"

"Try this…Jinenji made it…I don't know if…" Kagome was crying, her shoulders shaking.  It wasn't hard to see why.  Inuyasha was not resisting, totally unresponsive as she pressed bandaging against a wound that had to hurt horribly.  He wasn't moving at all, though.  Miroku took the packet she handed him and ran back to Ayame's side, where Ginta was curled up, trying to tell her something, whispering in her ear.

"Not right now." Miroku moved him away as gently as he could.  "Right now she needs this."

"Please…please save her." Ginta begged, utterly pathetic and not even worried about his dignity at the moment.  "She means…a lot to me."

"I understand." Miroku did understand.  If Naraku had bitten Sango this way, he would have been frantic.  "I will do all that I can."

"Did…where's Kouga?" Hakkaku spoke up again.  "So many are gone…"

"They're fine.  Sango was hit, as was Kohaku, if you recall." Miroku summed up what they had missed.  "They were sent back to the camp with Kirara, Shippo, and Jaken.  They should all be fine.  Kouga left with Kagura.  She was…rather upset.  Kikyo and Kanna were the only losses, and they were both…quite important to her.  It must be a shock."

"Shock." Ginta nodded, still clutching at Ayame's cold hand.  "Yeah."

Miroku set down, determined to fix this, to make it better.  They had not wanted any losses, and while each was prepared to die, none of them were prepared to give up on what might be saved.  That was how he felt.

He would save her.

He had to.

----------

"Calm down, Kagura." Kouga was really starting to worry about her.  She wouldn't look at him, she wouldn't say anything.  She had stopped crying quite as violently as before, but now she was just laying where he was holding her, next to the fire, hoping she would snap out of her daze and talk to him.  Tears coursed down her face, and every once in a while, she would let out a low moan, at least letting him know she was still alive.  Rin had run up to them when he had landed, but now she was tending to Kohaku and Sango without any further questions.  She didn't seem to want to interfere as he cradled Kagura to him and rocked her soothingly, brushing the hair from her face and trying to keep her tears in check.  "Calm down, please."

"Rin." Sesshoumaru landed in the camp as though he had never left.  However, Rin immediately dropped the water she was carrying, running past Shippo and leaping at Sesshoumaru, who at the last moment caught her with his arm and brought her in close.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" she had wrapped her arms around his neck, burrowing against his chest happily.  "You're safe!"

"Of course." He answered, but he did not drop her.  He did not loosen his grip.  Even with one arm only, it was not hard to hold her.  It felt…strangely nice.  "I told you I would always return."

"You said you'd try." She reminded him.  "You didn't promise for sure."

"I'm sorry to have worried you." He lowered her then, setting her on her feet.  "I will always return to you, I promise."

"I love you," she threw her arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his surprised cheek.  "I'll never leave you, either, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"I…am glad." He answered, seeming a bit embarrassed as Jaken, Shippo, and Kouga watched the scene unfolding.  Kagura, of course, was so lost in herself that she saw nothing.

"Is everyone else okay?" Rin asked, letting go of Sesshoumaru so he could straighten and regain his dignity.

"Well…" Sesshoumaru wondered suddenly about Inuyasha.  That wound had not been inconsequential.  Perhaps he could go and check.  It had just seemed most important at that moment to see Rin, to let her know he was coming back to her, to be sure that she was all right.  She had long been the most important thing to him, he just didn't know how it had happened.  "Two were lost."

Kouga had thought that Kagura was dead to the world, but at Sesshoumaru's words, she broke out in a long, low wail.  He gave Rin and Sesshoumaru an apologetic look.  "I'm sorry…she's still…really upset."

"To say the least." Sesshoumaru leaned down to tell Rin who was gone.  Her face went pale and she bit her lip for a moment before turning around and running to Kagura, hugging the girl despite her awkward placement in Kouga's arms.

"Kagura," she let tears spill down her young cheeks as she spoke.  "I'm sorry, I know you loved them both."

"Thanks, Rin." Kouga patted the young girl's head as she kissed Kagura's slightly twitching brow.  "She's still…pretty sad."

"It is regrettable that not all of us could live to see this moment when Naraku is gone." Sesshoumaru spoke, more sympathetic than Kouga had ever expected him to be.  "But all of us were willing to pay the price.  We cannot choose who is to stay, and who must leave this world."

"That's true." He agreed.  It had not been his intention for things to end this way.  Of course, they had all expected the fight to be not completely successful, but they had never really understood that not all of them could survive.  It was almost easier to think of dying yourself than having to deal with the deaths of your comrades.  And while Kikyo had been a bit strange and Kanna was also rather odd, Kouga hated the fact that they could not either of them be saved.  It made him feel like a failure, to himself, to his comrades, and mostly to Kagura, who was now so utterly crushed.  Broken.  Like a feather held too tightly and too roughly.

But he would not discard her.  She was his comrade.  His friend.  His…Kagura…  
  


She was special to him.

"You…guys?" Sango's voice broke through his reverie, and he looked over to see her sitting up unsteadily.  "Where…is Miroku?"

*****

The End (Of Part 24, That Is)


	25. Death

When Pippin sings, it makes my heart ache.  I feel the sadness he must have felt…oh, Billy Boyd.  I will someday marry you.  Okay, we know that's just a dream for me, but…

*****

Something Is Real

Part 25

*****

"It's late." Sango was the first one to get up after dinner that evening.  Well, after _her_ dinner.  Most everyone had eaten, but Kouga was still trying to coax Kagura into accepting the food he was tearing into small bits for her.  "They should have come back by now.  I'm going to check on them.  Maybe something happened after we left."

"You think Naraku's still alive?" Kouga looked up from his task, still holding a hot scrap of fish between two fingers.  "No way."

"I don't know, I'm just worried." She called Kirara, and the cat transformed at once.  "Aren't you?"

"It is troubling.  Nearly four hours since I left the field.  It does not take so long to apply bandages and return."  Sesshoumaru judged.  "I will also go." And with that, he stood and leapt through the air.  Rin pouted for a moment before returning to her dinner.  Sango muttered something darkly as she climbed on Kirara and took off after him.  He was well ahead of her.  It didn't matter.  He was their ally, she had to remember that.  It was easier to think that way when he was with Rin.  The rest of the time, he seemed ready to kill anyone and everything, but he was almost gentle with the girl he cared for.  It was interesting.  The fact that Inuyasha showed warmth toward humans had been a weakness in Sesshoumaru's views before, but now he was committing the same act so blatantly it was almost ridiculous.  He was so jealous of the girl's attention, also.  What would he do if she married someone?

Sango shook herself when she realized that she was coming up on the site of their earlier battle.  There was a fire there, which was a good sign, as far as she saw it.  Something was slowing them up, or perhaps they hadn't wanted to move Inuyasha since his wound was supposed to be so bad.  At least, that was the way Kouga made it sound.  He was a rather gory storyteller.  Sango pointed down and soon, she felt Kirara land on the ground, just after she'd caught sight of a dark shape she figured _had_ to be Miroku.

"You!" she ran to him, barely stopping to check that it was him before she nearly tackled him in a hug.  "I was so worried!"

"I apologize." His voice lacked something.  It wasn't as lilting as it usually was.  He sounded sad.  Pained.  "I was occupied until a moment ago."

"Miroku…" she backed up to take in the scene better.  "What's…happened?"  Kagome was crying into her arms, Ginta was fussing over something that looked like an unmoving Ayame, Hakkaku was trying to speak to him, but with little success.  And where was Inuyasha?

"They…we tried, Sango." Miroku told her, his voice fully apologetic.  "We tried everything, but it was no good.  Naraku got them in the end."

"Naraku…he's dead, right?" Sango immediately reached to touch Hiraikotsu's handle.

"Of course." He was solemn, but it wasn't like when he was teasing her.  It was a seriousness that went all through him, even to his eyes.  "But we lost them."

"Who?" Sango thought she could guess.  She had to hear it, though.

"Inuyasha and Ayame." He kept his voice low, obviously not wanting to further disturb the nearby mourners.  "His bites were poisoned with something…so strong.  If they had been human, we might have been able to cleanse the youki…we actually tried it on Inuyasha.  It only weakened him to the poison more.  Kagome thinks _she_ killed him."

"Oh gods…is she okay?" Sango could feel tears brimming, but she fought to keep them back.  She needed to be strong right now.  But she just wanted to crumble and let Miroku hold her together.  That sounded nice.

"Does she look okay?" he asked in response.  "I think…she won't listen to us right now, but it will take time.  She will grow past this moment, and she will have to move on."

"Should I—" Sango felt she should say something, do something, anything.

"No, she won't hear you." Miroku assured her.  "I thought we could sleep here for the night."

"Where's his…um, his body?" she wanted to know.

"Sesshoumaru took it." Miroku answered.  "As soon as I told him."

"Why?" Sango blinked in surprise.

"He said he was taking it home, and he wouldn't listen to anything we said.  Kagome just broke down again after he left.  Of course."  Miroku sighed and pulled Sango back in, close to him.  "I am glad you are here."

"Are you…did you guys eat anything?" she asked, not knowing what else to say.

"I…did not think to." He answered.  "Kagome has food in her bag if you are hungry."

"I'm not." She shrugged.

"Neither am I."

----------

Ginta carried her body back.  He wouldn't let anyone else touch it, growling and snapping if they tried.  Ayame would have looked like she was sleeping if it weren't for the bloody shoulder wound.  She flopped as he held her to him and ran back to the campsite alongside Kagome, Miroku, and Sango on Kirara, and the still worried Hakkaku.  When they got back, they found they didn't have to explain anything.  Sesshoumaru had stopped by with Inuyasha's body, taking Rin, Jaken, and Ah-Un before leaving once again.  He had filled Kouga and Kohaku (and theoretically Kagura) on the basics of what was happening.  When Ginta lowered Ayame's body at his leader's feet with an apologetic glint in his eyes, Kouga set aside Kagura for a moment to crush the sad man in a hug.

Ginta cried.  Hakkaku started crying because Ginta was crying.  Kagura was still crying.  So was Kagome.  Shippo started crying because Kagome was crying, and she hugged him.  Sango felt her eyes water again, but she tried to resist it.  She failed.  Kouga didn't cry.  He just smiled sadly at his men and went back to Kagura, who still wasn't eating or really moving on her own.  He had forced some water down her throat earlier that morning, but that was his only success so far.  That, and she'd stopped moaning.  Miroku held Sango.  Kohaku hugged her as well, and then she started crying harder.  Kouga wished that Kikyo were around to make everyone stop acting so sappy.  She had been good at that.

Miroku made dinner with Shippo's help.  No one felt hungry.  Kagura still wouldn't eat.  Kouga was obviously getting worried.  Ginta left after dinner, saying that he would take Ayame back to her northern lands to be buried.  Kouga didn't argue with this, not even when Hakkaku said he'd go with.  He was too busy trying to feed Kagura to care about much anything else.  Around midnight, most everyone was asleep, except Kouga who was listening to Kagome's sobbing rendition of how Inuyasha's death was entirely her fault.  He worried everyone would wake at the noise, but Kagura slept like a rock.  Miroku and Sango only cuddled closer together and tried to block out the world.  Shippo was too exhausted to hear anything, and Kohaku managed to pass through it without much disturbance as well.  Kouga remembered how Kikyo never really seemed to sleep.  He wondered how long it would be before he could sleep easy again.  It had been so long.  But then, Kagura surely hadn't felt easy before she found protection and acceptance among them.  He would not begrudge her that joy.

It struck him the next day as Miroku and Sango made the executive decision to go back that now, Inuyasha was gone.  He could pursue Kagome, and in this state, he would likely win her with no trouble.  It was something to think about.  But right now, he just wished he could get Kagura to swallow some food.  It was driving him crazy.  He traveled with that group for three days before he had to turn off from their path to go back to his own home.  It had been a long time since he'd seen the vestiges of his tribe.  He wondered what they would say when he came home with only a heart-numb shell of their former enemy to show for all the time he'd been gone.  He wondered if Ginta and Hakkaku would get there first.  He reminded himself that Ayame was dead, and would therefore not visit.

It was hard to remember these things.  Maybe he needed some sleep.  Maybe if Kagura would just eat.  Surely, by now she must be starving.

The night before he reached the caves, she allowed him to feed her half a fish.  He started crying, felt immediately like an idiot, and tried to feed her the rest.  Of course, that was too much to hope for.  She had given him some hope, though.  And she wasn't resisting fluids at all.  That was good.  She just wasn't talking or moving.  She just stared at something no one could see, and seemed to barely blink as she watched it.  He wondered vaguely if she'd ever be the same.  Or even similar.  He missed her.

She was his friend, though.  He would not give up on her.

Ginta and Hakkaku were there when he came back to the Western mountains, Kagura tied to his back for easy carrying, and an uneasy shadow of his former smile on his face.  No one even asked who she was.  Something was up, he was sure, but he didn't want to answer questions, so he privately noted that he should thank Ginta and Hakkaku and went about his business.  Leading the tribe, taking care of Kagura.  Today, there was a disturbance in the south, but it was dealt with easily.  Today, Kagura ate almost all her food.  She even drank the water without him having to put it to her lips.  She made a few noises in her sleep.  It sounded like she was having a nightmare, though, so he wasn't sure if that was progress.

It went on like that for a long time.  So long, he forgot about things like checking on Kagome, or just remembering that Kagura was still his enemy.  Wasn't she?

No…not anymore.

And then one night, as he was putting her down to sleep, Kagura reached out to him, actually looked at him, and started crying hysterically.

Was _that_ progress?

The next day, he brought her breakfast.  She ate it all on her own.  And then she looked at him and started talking.  She told him everything she'd felt when she went into the battle, before the fight, during the fight, what it had been like to die and come back, to see your sister gone, to lose your best friend, to have to attack her.  She told him that all this time, she had been thinking of those things, and trying to make sense of them.  She apologized for making him worry.

He said it was okay.

She asked how long it had been.  He told her it had been almost a year.  She started crying and told him how sorry she was for all the trouble.  He told her it was no trouble at all.

Then she asked about the others.  She wanted to know where the people who had survived were.  Was Ginta all right?  She knew he had a thing for Ayame, he must have taken it rather hard.  And what about Kagome?  She had been heartbroken, hadn't she?  Did he see Sesshoumaru and Rin ever?

He told her he hadn't visited anyone in a long, long time, and he didn't know what the answers were.  She smiled at him, actually _smiled_ and said they should go do that very soon.  It was important to care about your friends, even when you had other concerns.  He was so excited, he hugged her and told her he was glad she was back.  She told him she was hungry, and he realized they'd spent all day talking.  He got her dinner.

The next day, she dressed herself, fed herself, and then insisted on leaving Kouga's den to see Ginta and Hakkaku.  She wanted to visit with them, it seemed.  She was worried about Ginta.

Funny that someone who had hidden from herself for nearly a year was worried about _other_ people.  He let her go, but he went with her, sure that something would happen that would set her off and she'd be back to the way she'd been for so long.  Nothing went wrong, though.  Well, when she talked to Ginta at length, she started crying and they hugged.  Kouga wanted to punch Ginta, but he couldn't think of why.  He told Kagura that they ought to go get some food, they'd been bothering Ginta long enough.

Kagura went with him.

That night, she asked when they could visit the others.  She wanted to see Rin and Sesshoumaru, Miroku and Sango, Kohaku and Shippo, Kagome, everyone.  Kouga told her she should probably wait before she went traveling.  She asked if he was busy.  He said yes.

He was lying.  She believed him.  He felt stupid.

Three months passed.  Then Kagura asked him why she was staying in his den when they were only friends.  Kouga shrugged, saying that it had made sense when she was sick to just keep her close, and now it seemed pointless to make her move out into her own den.  She said it seemed even more foolish that she should have a den with the leader of a tribe she had single handedly slaughtered most of only a few years ago.  He told her she was being stupid, and that everyone understood.

He made sure they understood.  If Kagura was hurt, wolves died.  Lots of them.  They understood, all right.

Kagura seemed to drop the subject, but then, two months later, she asked what her job was.  Kouga stared at her like she was crazy, wanting to know what she meant.  She said that everyone in the tribe was responsible for something, except the children.  She wasn't a child, so she should have responsibilities as well.  Kouga told her that if she wanted, she could cook, but he remembered how poor her kitchen skills were.  She wanted to work patrols.  He said no.  She said that if she wasn't contributing, she was a bum, and rather than be a bum and a parasite, she would leave.

She started working patrols that week.  Kouga liked to pretend it was his idea from the start.  Kagura let him pretend because it was funny and she knew the truth anyway.  Also, she didn't think his pride could handle it if she told everyone else how it had happened.

Things went on like that.  Kagura made life more interesting, it seemed.  She was always there, changing the way he expected situations to occur.  She was friends with Ginta and Hakkaku who had once hated and feared her.  Many of the women thought she was amazing, since she could patrol with the men.  A few didn't seem to like her, but Kouga couldn't bother with that.  Even he was not universally popular, he was sure.  He just had power, and people let you get away with things when you had power.

Except Kagura.  She treated him the same way she treated Ginta or Hakkaku or any other person she trusted.  Well, she spoke more openly with Kouga, and she was more apt to fight with him as well.  She was strangely timid with most of her friends, as though she were worried they would change their mind and hate her.  But considering the people she was surrounded with, that made some sense.  And he had heard her get in a loud disagreement with Ginta once or twice.  But it was nothing on their fights.

It was stupid, how proud he was that she would yell at him, throw things, call him an idiot, curse him, when she wouldn't do that to anyone else.  No one saw the complete Kagura the way he did.  He also saw a side that was so sweet he hardly believed it was the same woman who had once threatened to cut his hand off with a wooden spoon if he touched her stew _one_ more time and had sounded like she meant it.  She would gather flowers and decorate the den with them.  She liked things that were pretty, things that smelled nice.  He once happened on a jar of nail enamel when he was stopped in a human town on a trip to visit the southern tribe, and he bought it for her.  It was red, her favorite color.  He knew she would like it.

When he gave it to her, she started crying, and she had hugged him, blubbering her thanks in between some recalled story of painting nails with Sango and Rin and Kagome and it had been before anyone died and did he remember it had been red when she painted her nails then, and it meant so much that he had recalled something like that.  He felt silly.  He felt wonderful.  He felt foolish.  He felt happy.

Kouga stopped trying to think about his feelings so hard.

They were stupid, anyway.

All that mattered was Kagura.  She was life.

Life was good.

*****

The End (Of Part 25, That Is)


	26. Petals

Yeah, I know, I killed a bunch of people.  I'm mean.  It could have been worse though, if you think about it.  Well…I could've killed _everyone_.  That would've been a story-ender.  I need to stop listening to "Into the West" or this story is never gonna be happy.  I mean, seriously.  I didn't realize until the second time I saw RotK that the whole silver glass, white shores thing was like Frodo saying "It's okay, Sam.  When you're dead, we'll see each other again, so don't be sad."  But that's just even _more_ sad!  Gay hobbits should be free to love each other without being separated by distance and time and such like…sniffle  Okay, back to this story.  So yeah, looks like Kagura slipped off the deep end, but hopefully it won't happen again.  That was harsh.  Wonder how Kagome's dealing.  Must suck to have all that adventure, and then the one you're in love with dies without you even ever _admitting_ you're in love.  Weak.  But really, I think that they had an understanding.  I like to believe that words are only our way to try and capture things that can't be held and touch them in any way we can.  It's not something that can be done, when you know that…

Something Is Real

Part 26

"I've got patrols in an hour." Kagura was tying back her hair in front of something that she loved almost as much as her precious nail lacquer.  It was a mirror that Kouga had bought her.  It didn't look anything like Kanna's, but that didn't stop her from bursting into tears when he gave it to her.  It was strange how easily some things could get to her.  Other things slid right off her like he remembered.  She had been tough, before.  Some wounds could never really heal, though.  At least she wasn't alone.  He'd never let her be alone again.

"Okay, I'm going hunting with a few of the men.  We'll be back before dinner." Kouga answered, entering the common area of their den while he tied the straps on his chest plate together.  He never thought of it as _his_ den anymore.  It was theirs.  Kagura's and his.

"Kouga?" she turned, patting her hair once more for good measure.  "Do you think we could go tomorrow?"

"Where?" he asked, only half listening as he picked up the breakfast she had procured for both of them from the vicious battle that was the morning cooking area.  Of course, Kagura was able to get what she wanted with as little trouble as Kouga himself.  She commanded respect, and he wondered if it was because they were so close that people feared his retribution if she was mistreated in any way.  "Thanks for the food."

"No problem." She sat down next to him, serving herself as well as pouring the tea she would make herself most mornings.  She said that the other women made _horrible_ tea, but he thought that she enjoyed making it because it was one of the few things she never burned or destroyed.  She said once that Kikyo taught her.  She hadn't started crying when she said it, but she did look horribly wistful.  "To see the others, I wanted to do it before the humans got so old they wouldn't even recognize us."  It was a light jab, something that always relieved Kouga.  Her fighting spirit was one of the best things about her, and it was a constant wonder to see that it had come back so fully.  Of course, it had been a long time since that day.

"You mean…Miroku and Sango and all of them?" Kouga felt a sinking in his stomach.  "I don't know.  I'm not sure where they are.  It could take time."

"It's been so long, though." She sipped her tea wistfully.  "I bet Rin's all grown up by now.  Humans age fast, don't they?  It's been eight years, Kouga.  Why don't you want to see them?  We were all comrades."

"That was a long time ago." He huffed slightly, taking a big bite of stew.  "Things are different now."

"Kouga, I never got to say goodbye to any of them." Kagura was putting her ultimate weapon into play, a face that was so sad, it looked like she'd just lost her only friend in the world or something of that sort.  Of course, Kagura had a lot of friends now.  No one seemed to remember the name of that woman who had slaughtered so many wolves all those years ago, and wasn't that ancient history, anyway?  Next to this woman who commanded the respect and attention of not only Kouga, but his two highest men, Ginta and Hakkaku, that woman was inconsequential.  "I was…so lost then.  It makes me sad to think they might have thought I just didn't care about any of them.  They were my comrades, and I cared for them."

"You want to see Sesshoumaru, too?  I thought you two were one step from killing each other." Kouga reminded her, and she snorted indignantly.

"That's stupid.  He saved my life, and at this point, Rin is too grown up for either of us to fight over how she should be raised." She pointed out.  "Don't you think I should thank him?"

"He didn't _want_ to bring you back." Kouga grumbled.  He was losing this fight, and he knew it.  Neither of them was even yelling yet, and he'd already lost.  Pathetic.  "I had to threaten him to make him do it."

"Still." Kagura folded her hands in her lap after setting down an empty teacup.  "Much as you would hate to admit it, Sesshoumaru didn't really have to fear you.  In a fight, he would have beaten you easily enough, and then we'd _both_ be dead.  So obviously, he made the choice on his own."

"You aren't going to give up on this, are you?" he groaned, annoyed at the conversation.  He hated losing.

"No." she answered smoothly.  "I don't see why you're fighting this.  What did they do that makes you hate them all?"

"I don't _hate_ them." He answered, feeling unnerved as he tried to think what exactly his reasoning was and came up blank.  "I just…I feel like we should move on and leave the past behind us."

"Very poetic of you, Kouga." She rolled her eyes.  "Don't you want to see Kagome?  You loved her, if you don't recall."

"Uh, oh yeah." Kouga felt like vomiting.  Of course, Kagome.  Why did hearing Kagura say what he already knew hurt so much?  "Kagome.  But you know, she's from another country.  She probably never even visits anymore."

"We won't know if we don't visit the others." She told him officiously.  "Silly of you to put it off so long, really.  You should have met with them long ago.  Maybe Kagome would accept your offer now.  Obviously, Inuyasha's gone, no one's in your way."

"That's a horrible way to put it, Kagura." Kouga frowned at her, but it was true, wasn't it?  He'd thought the same thing when he last saw the mysterious girl that had so enraptured him at the time.  Now, he barely thought about her.  He tried not to think of her.

"Well, however I put it, you should know that it's something you're going to have to face sooner or later." Kagura pointed out.  "The others are talking, you know.  They're wondering if you're going to mate someone any time this century, or if you were just planning on dying without leaving an heir.  Then the tribe would pass to Ginta, and we all know that he'd never mate someone since he loved Ayame.  Still does, you know.  He won't ever really get over it, I think.  He still visits her grave every year.  Leaves her flowers."

"How did this discussion turn to my life choices?" Kouga was definitely irritated now.  He hated when Kagura acted like his mother, or his advisor.  Couldn't they just be friends?  "I have plenty of time to find a mate and make everyone else happy."

"Don't make it sound like such a chore, Kouga." Kagura rolled her eyes at him again.  "I pity the girl you pick, with that attitude towards it.  You'll send the poor woman to an early grave.  She'll love you, of course.  How could she not?  And you'll just mope and angst all the time because really, you wanted Kagome, and you can't get over the hurt to your pride that she would have gone with Inuyasha, and the poor thing will suffer because you're too busy lying to yourself to notice she even exists."

"Fuck, Kagura, that's enough!  It's too early for this shit." Kouga snapped at her standing up without even picking up the dishes.  She could take care of them if she was going to be so damned obnoxious.  "Who ever said I wanted to mate Kagome, anyway?"

"You did." She answered, her voice gentler than before.  "Stupid."

"Bitch." He snarled, sweeping out of the cave.  "Later."

"Safe hunting," she answered automatically before scowling at the dishes.  He _would_ leave all the work to her.  That was his kind of passive aggressive fighting style.  He couldn't win most of the time unless he did something like _this_.  Ridiculous.

----------

"What are you doing?" Kouga asked as he entered the den that evening to see Kagura carefully wrapping little parcels in expensive looking paper.  She must have gone shopping again.  At least he hadn't been dragged along this time.  She was like a warrior of shopping.  Trained, untiring, determined, and impossible to keep up with.  At least she liked doing it.  Kouga didn't mind how much she spent so long as he wasn't supposed to accompany her.

"I thought since it's been so long, it would be nice to bring little gifts to everyone." Kagura answered, blinking at him in a way that challenged him to ask her what she meant when they both knew _exactly_ what she meant.  She loved to win, but she loved even more to rub it in his face.

"Don't you have patrols tomorrow?" he tried feebly.  Token resistance was something he was getting very good at.

"No, of course not." She went back to her task, not looking up again.  "I talked to Ginta and Hakkaku, we were able to arrange it so that you and I have a week free to go and do what we will."

"Don't they want to come?" he asked.

"Well, what are we supposed to do?  Leave the old aunties to run the tribe?" she arched an eyebrow like she wanted him to say that was a good idea just so she could make fun of him for it.  "Someone has to be responsible for things while we're gone, and those two are completely capable.  I told them that if they want to make a similar trip, it would be at their discretion."

"That's very nice of you to run the tribe for me.  Who needs an heir when I have a usurper right here?" Kouga grumbled.  Silence answered his comment, and he immediately felt his insides twist uncomfortably.  Looking up, he saw that Kagura was, just as he had suspected, looking at him like the slightest provocation would cause her to attack.  Okay, so maybe that comment hadn't been as intelligent as it seemed at the time.  He really needed to think more about what he was saying before he said it.  "That's…not what I meant."

"Wasn't it?" she blinked, her voice thinly veiled fury.  "Don't bother covering your feelings up, Kouga.  Just say what you think.  Don't worry, I won't get upset." She stood and stormed out.

"Fuck me." Kouga grumbled, looking at the package she'd left half wrapped.  Makeup for Rin.  She really was a bitch, wasn't she?  But she was still his most important person, no matter how much trouble she could be.  Standing, Kouga followed her out.  She wasn't anywhere he could see in the main caves, but that was no surprise.  When she was really mad, she liked to go out the back way and mope in an old plum tree, tearing up the flowers one by one and cursing under her breath.  That's where he looked, and that's where he found her.

"Go away." She spoke when he leapt up to sit beside her as she tore a blossom apart one petal at a time.  The poor flowers, they must hate it when Kouga and Kagura fought.  "Leave me alone."

"Yeah, right." He leaned back against the trunk and reached for one of the fragrant blossoms.  It was easy enough to pick, and they did smell nice.  Why Kagura, who loved flowers, would take her fury out on them was one of those things Kouga felt he'd never understand.  He didn't mind, though.  "Next I'll ask you to come down and you'll tell me to get down myself, and then you'll make some smartass comment about what I said.  Then we'll sit here for the better part of an hour before you scold me for being thoughtless and cruel.  After that, I'll tell you I'm sorry, you'll say that really, I'm not, but you appreciate the effort, since I obviously don't care at all.  Next, I'll get pissed and leave you up here, and that'll last about another hour before I feel shitty and come back, begging you to come down.  You'll throw something at me or just ignore me for a while, then you'll come down and say that I'm a hopelessly stupid male, but that since I obviously am so dependant on you, you'll deal with all my flaws for the time being."

Silence.  He watched shreds of plum petals flutter down in the darkness.

"Can we just skip to the part where we're friends again?" he asked, his voice weary as he twirled the plum stem between two fingers.  "I _am_ sorry, you know.  It was a stupid thing to say."

"Damn straight it was." She mumbled finally, tossing her leftover stem at him.  Kouga sighed and closed his eyes.  Patience.  He must remember patience.

"I didn't mean it." He told her.  "Just the way you don't mean it when you say you hate me."

"I _do_ hate you." She answered, plucking another flower.

"Yeah, sure you do." He rolled his eyes.  "So, what time do you want to leave tomorrow?"

"You think that's all I want from you?" she flicked a leave at his head.  "You're so stupid."

"What do you want, Kagura?" he asked her.  "How am I supposed to know?  You won't tell me.  You like moping too much."

"I'm not talking to you right now." She spoke after a long pause.  "I'm still mad at you."

"Fine." He crossed his arms and settled in to his spot.  "An hour, then?"

"I hate you so much." She grumbled.  "You treat me like a child."

"We're not to the scolding yet." He pointed out.  "We haven't been up here ten minutes yet."

"Fuck that, I'm skipping ahead." She told him.  "It's gonna be a long day tomorrow and we need our rest."

"That's pretty thoughtful of you." He sighed.  "Continue, then."

"You never think of anyone but yourself.  You're so thoughtless." She went on.

"And cruel?" he supplied, barely concealing a chuckle.

"Fuck you." She sighed and dropped the remains of her plum blossom, reaching for another one.  He cut her off, his own hand plucking the flower before she could.

"You know," he sniffed the flower lightly.  "Why don't you just leave these poor things out of it?  What have they done to you?" he reached forward and tucked it into her hair as she stared at him with wide eyes.  "They look better like that then in pieces on the ground, anyway."

"You're stupid." She told him, her voice shaky.

"I know." He answered.  "Good thing I have you to keep me in line."

"You're such an asshole." She continued.

"Yeah, well you're a total bitch."  He reasoned.  "Must be why we get along so well."

"I can't believe you called me a…usurper." Her voice cracked slightly.  "Like you don't trust me at all.  Like all I do is plot and sneak and…and…I hate you."

"You said that one already." He shifted, reaching for the girl on the next branch.  "But you don't mean it."

"I do." She sounded muted with her face pressed to his shoulder, his arms pulling her close in a warm embrace.  "You'll make me fall, stupid."

"Just say you don't mean it, and I'll stop bugging you." He answered, petting her hair smooth as he avoided crushing the flower.  "Say you don't hate me.  You know I don't like when you say that."

"That's why I say it." She answered, her voice still muffled as she let go of her branch and wrapped her arms around him, totally trusting him to not let her fall.  "You piss me off, so I piss you off."

"I'm sorry, Kagura." He told her.  "But you know, I think that if I was dying, and I still didn't have an heir, I'd leave the tribe to you.  Everyone loves you.  They'd follow you, even though you aren't a wolf."

"What about Ginta?" she asked.

"You're smarter than Ginta." He answered.  "Better head for strategy.  That's important.  And I like you better."

"Better than Ginta?" she mumbled, sighing slightly.  It felt dangerous, leaning against him in the middle of the air like this, but at the same time, it was a wonderful feeling.  He wouldn't drop her, she knew.  "He's known you since you two were babies."

"You understand me better." He told her.  "It's like you said, anyway.  Ginta would never leave an heir.  You might."

"That's stupid, who would mate me?" she murmured.  "Anyway, this fight is over.  You win, I don't hate you."

"Thanks." He set her back on her branch carefully after kissing the top of her head.  "Let's go to bed, then."

"I have to finish wrapping up the gifts." She managed as they both leapt down.  Kouga caught her hand in his, his fingers tangling with hers.  It was nice, walking like that.  They did it every once in a while, when no one else was around, like now.  It was so dark out, no one would be able to see them, anyway.

"I'll help you." He offered.

"You can watch.  I don't want you wrapping them, you'll ruin all the paper." She squeezed his hand so he would know she was only teasing.

"You're probably right." He told her as they reentered the den and she dropped his hand to go back to her presents.  "I can't believe you got Rin makeup.  You're so terrible."

"I couldn't resist." Kagura winked at him and giggled.  "It's only a little, and the cream is so pale pink that he probably wouldn't notice it when she wore it.  It would just make her eyes look a little bigger, you know."

"I had nothing to do with that." He pointed as she deftly finished the little package, moving on to the next.  They were mostly little trinkets, nothing too outrageous, all of them tasteful.  Kagura was always tasteful.  She saw beauty in things that other people would miss.  It was one of her greatest gifts, and it made her all the more dear to him.  "They'll miss you." He spoke as she moved on to the last gift.  She looked up, great red eyes curious as to what he meant.

"Who?" she asked.

"The wolves, when we leave." He told her.  "They really do like you, you know.  I know you think that they're only acting because they're afraid of me, but they can't help it.  No matter what happened, it's who you are, Kagura.  Everyone loves you."

"That's silly." She rolled her eyes.  "What about that old uncle who always asks me when I'm leaving?"

"Kagura, please." He pursed his lips.  "Universal popularity doesn't exist."

"Everyone loves _you_." She challenged.

"What about that old auntie who always says it's a shame my father died without teaching me anything?" Kouga asked.  Kagura giggled lightly.

"She's actually very sweet, when you get to know her.  You just have to listen to her like everything she says is important.  That's all she wants." Kagura advised him.

"Thanks, advisor." He teased.  "Any other bits of counsel for this hopeless leader?"

"Hmm," she considered, tying her wrapping with a length of string.  "You should think things through more before you say them, or you could hurt someone's feelings."

"Good advice." He nodded firmly as though committing it to memory.  "Anything else?"

"Don't let your pride get in the way of happiness." She sounded serious this time.  "If we do see Kagome, tell her how you feel.  She'll listen."

"Kagura, please don't start that again." Kouga grumbled, getting up just as she stood.  "It isn't like I'm dying.  I can take my time."

"You could have been with Ayame, years ago." She pointed out.  "Of course, I think that would have been a bad decision, speaking as an advisor."

"Oh really?" he prompted her, smiling lightly again.

"Think, if Ginta loved her, she loved you, and you loved someone else altogether, how well would _that_ arrangement turn out?" Kagura shook a finger like a lecturing mother.

_I know that you love her, and that's okay.  I'm not angry about it anymore.  I'm happy for you, really._

Why was he thinking of that right now?  It was almost the last thing Ayame had ever said to him, and he still didn't know what she meant by it.  At the time, he had loved Kagome, he supposed.  Now, he just…didn't.  Not anymore.  It had been so long, he was sure that the ache she gave his heart had gone away altogether.  Having Kagura there helped.  Being busy with the tribe helped as well.  It would be stupid for Ayame to be happy that he loved Kagome, though.  Everyone knew that Kagome only saw Inuyasha.  It was a miserable thing to love someone who would never love you.  Ayame knew about that.  Why would she say that?

"And besides all that, Ayame was still so young, who's to say she wouldn't change her mind and switch her attentions to Ginta, who would obviously be able to give her more in return.  Even if she didn't love him at first, she'd grow into it, I think.  She just wanted someone to love her, to place her above everything else.  Ginta was willing to do that.  You weren't.  It's a simple enough problem if you look at it that way." She was still talking about it, he realized.

But then, Ayame hadn't said Kagome.  Well, she'd said "her."  That could have meant any one of the females that they were traveling with.  Not Ayame, obviously.  And if it was Kagome, how would that make her happy, unless she harbored some hidden vengeance towards him that he'd never known about before now.  Kikyo, Kanna, Rin, Sango, those were out of the question.  Kanna and Rin were little girls, Kikyo was a dead woman, Sango was in love with Miroku, and he never showed interest in those girls anyway.  That only left Kagura.  Kagura, who he had lived with like there was nothing odd about the situation for eight years.  Kagura, who he never touched, but who he shared a den with.  Kagura, who always knew what he was feeling even when he didn't know it.  Kagura, who could drive him crazy with a look.  Kagura, whose smile could light up his day.  Kagura, who he kept all to himself and guarded jealously from the outside.  Even when other members of the tribe spoke to her or were close with her, he could feel jealousy twist in his stomach like a poisonous worm.  It was never something that really bothered him, never something he really gave much thought to.  Kagura was Kagura, and everyone cared for her, so why shouldn't he place her above all others?  Why should he think about Kagome when Kagura was there, and she needed him like he needed her?  He realized then, that Kagura was still talking, but he wasn't even listening, he was just letting her voice wash over him and staring at her lips, and how many times had he spaced off like this before?  He knew he had done it hundreds of times.  Pretty soon she'd notice that he wasn't paying attention and tell him to go to bed, call him a name or something for not listening to her, like he just didn't care.

He did care, though.  He cared for her more than anyone else.  Even Kagome.  And if he had loved Kagome, and even she was second to Kagura, then didn't that mean that he loved Kagura?

Had Ayame known that, all those years ago?  Amazing, he'd never thought her to be so perceptive.  No one else had noticed.  Well…Ginta and Hakkaku teased him about living with her, about what it could be that kept them in one den when there was plenty of room for Kagura in another den.  He'd never really thought of it before.  Feelings were things that confused him and sometimes seemed to contradict themselves, so he ignored them.

It was true, though.  He loved her.  He was in love with Kagura.  No wonder he didn't want to go visit the others.  He was afraid she'd ignore him the whole time.  He was afraid Kagome _would_ want him, and then he'd have to get Kagura a new den for sure.  They couldn't live together if he had a mate.  It would be a stupid thing to do.

Kouga was well aware that he was impulsive.  He didn't think things through, sometimes.  Like at that moment, Kagura had just noticed that look in his eyes, that dazed look that said he was hearing her without listening.  "What did I just say, Kouga?" she sounded slightly annoyed.  "You weren't listening, were you?  I just don't know what goes on in your head sometimes.  You're right there in front of me, but your thoughts are a million miles away, just like you don't—"

His mind said to make her stop before she said he didn't care.  He hated when she said that, it made him feel terrible, like when she said that she hated him.  Just because it wasn't true and they both knew it didn't mean the words were painless to his ears.  So he stopped her.  On reflection, he could have just interrupted with an apology.  She liked apologies, they meant she was right and he knew it.  He could have held up a hand or something.  Instead, he kissed her.

He had just grabbed her shoulders and leaned in so fast she didn't know what was happening until his lips were working against hers, his tongue brushing against lips that tasted like flowers and the honey she put in her tea, and she was so surprised she let the tongue inside her own mouth, tasting her eagerly as she felt her legs shaking.  She couldn't stand, she knew it, but even if she fainted, he was holding her so tight she wouldn't fall.  And he tasted like oranges and cinnamon, and she felt like her face was going to catch fire, and he just kept kissing her, and wasn't he running out of air yet?  She couldn't breathe, she couldn't really think, she couldn't stand, and what was he _doing_ with his tongue?  Where did he even learn that?  She let out a sound, something between a purr and a moan, and that just set him off even worse than before.  He pressed against her so tightly she thought their bodies, hot as they were, would melt into one, and what was _that_ pressing against her like some sort of…

She leapt back, terrified and mortified all at once, her hand going to her mouth immediately, tears welling in her eyes for no reason.  _Stupid, now is no time to start crying like a baby.  No wonder he treats you like a child, you act like one._  She told her mind to shut up and mind its own damn business.  Her legs were still unsteady, and she stumbled back until she hit her head on the wall of the den.  "Ow," was the first thing she said, and she felt on reflection that it was likely the most idiotic reaction to a kiss ever in the history of kissing.

"I…I just…" Kouga looked like his eyes were going to fall out of his face.  "I'm sorry…did I…are you okay?" he stepped forward and she felt her eyes widen.  He must have thought she was afraid, and on some level, she was, because he stopped, biting his lip.  "Kagura, really, I don't know…I'm sorry, okay?  I wasn't…thinking."

"I…" Kagura had to say something to communicate to Kouga what she was feeling, the swirl of heat and emotion in her, the way her lips were swollen and she could still taste him and she _liked_ that taste, she hadn't expected him to taste that way, though she'd never really thought about it.  What was the point of thinking pointless things like that?  "I…think it's time for bed."

"Yeah." He looked really disappointed as he left, and she didn't know what it was she was supposed to say, but she hadn't said it.

She felt cold that night, and she had a hard time getting sleep.  Once she did get some, all she could see in her dreams was that kiss.

The End (Of Part 26, That Is)


	27. Hope

Okay, that was less sad, wasn't it?  At least no one died this time.  I think it's because every time I would feel sad, I'd just look at my pretty Suzaku seishi poster, and see the boys all pretty and smiling at me, and so cute and loveable, and then I was happy again.  Plus, "Into the West" wasn't playing.  Better hope it doesn't come back up on the play list before I finish this story.  It's funny how some songs can touch us so deeply, evoke such feelings.  My writing is oftentimes influenced by whatever is playing while I write, so when I'm doing something happy, I try to skip the sad songs, and vice versa.  Judging from my stories, I think I have more sad music.  Oh well, music is sound, something ephemeral and intangible, no matter that business about sound waves and resonance curves and on and on.  Damn physics, makes everything that seems so happily mysterious into something cataloged and predictable and writes equations for it so I have to remember them.  But I never have to take physics again, and so I never will, and even if it can make the world make sense, I don't _want_ it to make perfect sense.  I enjoy the mystery of never being sure…

Something Is Real

Part 27

"I'm still sorry that it's been so long." Kagura tilted her head to one side, smiling warmly at Sesshoumaru and Rin.  Jaken had left an hour ago to feed Ah-Un and hadn't come back.  Rin had apologetically told Kagura and Kouga that he wasn't a big one for company, and he didn't mean anything by it.  She had grown up, in more ways than one.  Rin had come into her own, and her body was that of a mature woman of twenty, not that of a twelve-year-old girl.  She seemed slightly thinner than Kagura would have expected, almost frail in appearance, but she had no trouble carrying around the rambunctious toddler that was at her heels almost constantly.  Tsugite was his name, and he had a younger sister that was apparently napping, Shouki.  Kagura had been surprised at that for approximately ten seconds before she decided that Sesshoumaru had always loved the girl, and this was just something that had grown and changed as she had grown and changed.  So it made sense.  And hadn't Rin always said she'd marry him when she grew up?  It had seemed like a funny thing at the time.  Now it had happened.

"We never visited, either." Rin assured her.  "I suppose life can get busy, and you can forget about other things.  Friends, comrades, that sort of thing.  It's something we too often take for granted."

"Indeed, Rin." Sesshoumaru seemed as utterly dignified as ever, and just as agelessly beautiful.  "It is regrettable that we cut bonds with no thought for the result."

"Did you two want to visit Inuyasha's grave?" she asked, leaning forward a bit, her eyes bright grey.  "It's a short walk, you know.  No one ever visits it except us, but I doubt anyone else realizes it's here.  I'm sure Kagome would love to see it."

"I haven't seen Kagome in a long time." Kouga spoke up, and Kagura fought the urge to look at him.  If she did, she'd start blushing, and that would be embarrassing, most definitely.  "We don't know if we'll be able to find her, since she lived in another country and only visited here to find the jewel."

"Of course, that would be impossible anymore." Sesshoumaru nodded slightly.  "Naraku took the better part of it to hell with him, and the rest is in her possession.  Unless he was reincarnated in the same way as Kikyo, and she was able to recover it at that point…but perhaps it is better if it remains hidden.  It caused nothing but grief to those who hunted it."

"That's all too true." Rin agreed.  "Sad, though.  She never finished her mission, and she never got to have any sort of happy ending.  It must be horrible for her."

"Yeah." Kouga agreed.

"It'd be nice to see her, to be sure she's getting along all right now." Kagura spoke softly, finishing the cup of tea that Jaken had made when they had arrived.  It was funny that he still acted as a sort of nursemaid.  Kagura certainly wouldn't want a little toad feeding _her_ children.  Not that she would have children.  No one would ever want her.  Well, except maybe Kouga.  But that was a mistake, last night, wasn't it?  He'd been tired and confused, thinking about Kagome.  Oh great, now she was blushing again.

"Are you all right?" Rin asked, leaning in again.  "You're all red."

"Oh, the tea's a bit hot still." She lied, not like it would hurt anyone.  "Now, let's go see his grave, then."

"And you will have to stay the night here, it is getting late." Rin smiled as she stood, scooping up a fussing Tsugite and kissing his silver locks lovingly.  "We would love to have you, wouldn't we?"

"Mm." Was all the affirmation that Sesshoumaru gave as he stood, taking the child from Rin so he wouldn't tire her.  It was a bit odd to see him hold a little child in his arms like that, but oddly appealing.  Something about men and babies…Kagura shook herself, she better not start down _that_ track again.

The walk to Inuyasha's grave was indeed rather short, and when they reached it, Kagura lingered for some time, hoping that Kouga would get tired of it and go back, but he was standing right next to her, and when she moved to turn away finally, her hand brushed against hers.  And she was blushing.  Again.  Stupid man with his kissing her and making her think weird things.  She'd have to kill him once she could meet his eyes without going red.

Jaken made a surprisingly good dinner, but Kagura supposed he'd been cooking and such for Sesshoumaru and Rin for long enough to know what he was doing, so she shouldn't be all that shocked that his food was edible, and even tasty.  Of course, practice had never improved _her_ skills, but she supposed it was just a block of some sort.  Every time she tried to cook, all she could think about was Kanna and Kikyo helping her and telling her not to do this and to add more of that and be careful of the other thing, and she got distracted and ruined it.  Oh well.  At least she didn't _have_ to cook her own food.  That would have ended badly.

After dinner, they stayed up talking for some time while the toad put Tsugite to bed.  Mostly, Kagura and Rin talked while Sesshoumaru and Kouga sat back and digested and watched them.  Kagura tried not to think about that too hard.  Then Rin announced it was time for bed, and that Jaken would show them to their room.  She left with Sesshoumaru, and Kouga and Kagura stood to follow Jaken.  He led them to a door and left.  It was only one door.  Kagura made the mistake of giving Kouga a confused look, which of course ended in her blushing horribly.  Again.  She decided to stop thinking about things so much and opened the door.  Inside, there was a rather large room with one rather large bed.  One bed.

"Oh no…they must have thought…" Kagura couldn't even _bring_ herself to say what they had thought about Kouga and her, because when she started talking, she remembered the night before and felt her face catch fire _again_.  She really hated blushing.  It was obviously an evil invention made to make women suffer.  That was when she peeked at Kouga and saw that he, too, was blushing deeply.  "What do we do?"  They would never find Jaken again in this ridiculously huge castle, and she didn't _want_ to find Sesshoumaru and Rin.  That could be traumatizing.

"Well…this is a castle, right?  There's got to be hundreds of rooms.  You stay here, I'll find another one."  Kouga suggested.

"What if you can't find one?  What if you get lost?" she asked, eyes large, face still red.  It helped to know that he was blushing too.  It made her feel slightly less foolish.

"I'm not totally inept." He told her.  "It's not like we can stay in here together."

"I could go find another one." She suggested.  "Or…sleep on the floor!"

"Why are you even fighting me on this?  I thought you were still mad about last night." He grumbled, blushing deeper than ever.  "Don't you _want_ me to leave?"

"I just…I'm not…mad, really." She felt like she was going to melt into the floor and die.  This was so mortifying.  "Just…embarrassed.  I didn't expect you to just…yeah."

"I'm sorry." He scratched the back of his head, feeling stupid.  "I just…thought…"

"I don't want to be discarded." She explained, digging at the floor with her toe.  "I don't want to be used again."

"Kagura…" he felt the blood drain from his face all at once.  "I never…never…"

"You were thinking of Kagome, I know." She waved at him dismissively.  "So let's just pretend it never happened and be friends again, okay?"

"I wasn't thinking of Kagome." He spoke after a long silence as she was splitting up the blankets and pillows on the bed and tossing half to the floor.  She froze, her hand still on a large pillow.  "I wasn't thinking of her, Kagura."  Kagura didn't say anything.  Kouga licked his lips and stepped toward her, though he still could only see the side of her face.  "I was thinking…Ayame said something long ago, right before she died."

"What?" Kagura sounded annoyed, possibly angry, and definitely irate.  "What are you trying to say?"

"She said…that I loved someone, and she was happy, and I thought she meant Kagome at the time I guess, but that's stupid because if anyone knows what it's like to love someone who doesn't love you, it's Ayame, and why would it make her happy for me if I was going through it too?  And I thought about it and I realized that she didn't mean Kagome.  She meant you.  Because I loved _you_, Kagura.  I still do." He felt like his entire stomach was a knot pulled unbearably tight.  Kagura dropped the pillow.  Silence stretched out.  Ten minutes.  Twenty.  No one spoke.  Finally, she turned to face him.

"Don't say stupid things." She told him, not meeting his eyes.  "I've got the floor, you're in the bed.  Let's get some sleep."

"No!" he stomped one foot down, his anger surprising even himself.  "No.  Don't just ignore me.  I meant it, Kagura.  I'm in love with you.  Not Kagome, or Ayame, or anyone else.  Just you."

"But…why?" she asked, her eyes honest and vulnerable as she finally looked up.  "Why me?"

"Because.  Kagura is Kagura, and she's the one most important to me." He stated sharply, like he was issuing an edict.  "And I'm _not_ sorry I kissed you because it was great, and if you try and tell me that you didn't like it, I'll know you're lying.  Just…please." He slowed, reaching forward, and resting a hand on her shoulder.  "For once, don't fight me on this.  Please.  You always win.  Every damn fight we have, you always win.  Let me win this one time.  Tell me that you don't hate me."

"I…don't hate you." She breathed slowly.  It was important to remember to breathe.  "I never did."

"Tell me…you believe me when I say I love you." He continued.

"I…I…" Kagura tried to look away from him, but he grabbed her chin with his free hand and wouldn't let her look away.  "I believe you."

"And?" he prompted her.  "What…do you feel?"

"I feel…confused." She answered finally.  "I want you to love me, but that's stupid, because I don't deserve it.  Not after what I did.  But you're the most important thing in my life, and after everything, you stayed with me and cared for me when I was nearly dead inside myself, and you made it better.  And I don't see how you can love me, because I'm mean to you sometimes.  I care about you so much, I'm scared to lose you, and I think…if I just tease you and yell at you and push you away, I won't hurt when you leave.  But it doesn't work that way, does it?"

"No…no it doesn't." he was so close to her, it was impossible to think.  "Do you love me?"

"I…don't know." She admitted.  He wanted her to say yes, surely, but he didn't want her to lie.  Not about this.  "I don't really understand it."

"It's okay." He let his hand drift from her chin, up to her cheek, brushing back a strand of hair that had escaped her ponytail.  "You can take your time.  Just…"

"What?" she prompted after he drifted off.

"Let me kiss you now." His voice was soft, pleading.  He needed to kiss her, and she wondered if he'd be able to resist even if she said no.  His mouth was already so close to hers, gravitating towards it with every breath.  "Please, Kagura.  Just one kiss."

"A goodnight kiss?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.  Where had she heard that before?  Shippo used to ask Kagome for goodnight kisses, she thought that might be it.  It hardly mattered now.  What mattered was that she could taste Kouga already, they were that close, breath intermingling.

"Yeah." He didn't nod.  He didn't have space for a nod.  His hand had at some point left her face for her hair.  And her ponytail was gone.  That was mysterious.  She didn't remember feeling the tug on her hair.  His other hand was cupping her hip, like he was afraid she'd change her mind at this point and try to run.

"Okay." As soon as she said it, his mouth was on hers, moving slowly, softer than what she remembered last night.  Not so urgent this time.  Like he was savoring the moment, letting it stretch out into eternity, and just concentrating on how her mouth felt on his and how his must feel on hers.  Experimentally, she moved her lips in response, and the response was immediate.  His kiss became possessive, hungry, like he wanted to devour her so no one else could ever see her or touch her or taste her in this way.  It was scary, but at the same time…it felt good.  So good.  And then he was in her mouth, and his tongue was there, and it had seemed so strange yesterday, but now she just wanted to get closer to him, to taste him better, and even if she was clumsy, she tried to kiss him back.  She forgot about everything else, and the whole universe was Kouga and his mouth and his hands in her hair, on her hip, and he was so hot, pressed against her like that, and then he finally pulled back, gasping, and looking like his face would catch fire.  It wasn't hard to figure out why, as he nearly fled the room.

Kagura shrugged, trying to calm the racing heartbeat that was so fast and so hard she could hear nothing else, and she combed her hair out and cleaned her face in the wash basin on the far side of the room.  Kouga was back just as she was arranging the blanket and pillows on the floor.

"I'm on the floor." He insisted, looking a bit strained, but much more in control of himself than right after the kiss.  "You can have the bed, Kagura."

"Why?" she blinked at him.  "I don't mind it."

"Neither do I." He told her.  "But what kind of a man let's a woman sleep on the floor while he's in a proper bed?"

"Um…a smart one?" she guessed.

"Just get in the bed, Kagura." He pressed the issue, and she figured that it couldn't hurt.

"You…could sleep in here, too." She told him after tucking herself in.  "It is really pretty big.  I wouldn't mind."

"I…don't think that's a good idea." He answered, affording her a tight smile.  "Let's just try to get some sleep, okay?  Tomorrow we can go see if we can find Sango and Miroku."

"Kohaku's probably with them.  Maybe Shippo, too." She smiled softly.  "It'll be good to see them all."

"Yeah." He moved to put out the lanterns before climbing into his own makeshift bed.  "That would be good."

As long as Kagura was happy, he didn't care who the hell they found or didn't find.  He couldn't believe he'd confessed to her, but it seemed stupid to hide it after he'd realized it, after he'd kissed her.  And she had let him kiss her again.  She'd kissed back.  She said he was most important to her.

He had hope.

Hope could be a very good thing.

The End (Of Part 27, That Is)


	28. Cycle

Will they find Sango and Miroku?  Will they find Kagome?  Will Kagura sort out her feelings?  Will Kouga resist the urge to jump her?  Will I finish this story before we hit 30 chapters?  Will Kagura ever learn to cook?  Is Kikyo rolling her eyes in the afterlife?  Is Kanna shaking her head in shame at her sister's culinary failings?  Or are they both too busy playing Risk to pay attention to what's going on with Kagura and her ever-complex life?  Isn't Risk a fun game?  It can last really long.  So can Monopoly.  I imagine dead people play a lot of board games to pass the time.  I bet Kikyo would rule at poker, she'd only meet her match when it came to Sesshoumaru.  He never expresses himself…well, not very much.  What use are frowns and smiles and scowls when…

Something Is Real

Part 28

"I can't believe it, you two look just the same." Sango marveled as she fed the child next to her a portion of her bread.  He immediately ate it and then still stole another morsel off of his sibling's plate.  This started a fit of crying from the little girl, who was probably about five years old.  "Honestly, can't you behave for five minutes." She turned from her visitors to feed the older child another piece of the bread.  He threw it at his sister's head.  She threw her hands up.  "I'm sorry, they can be a handful, and I swear they only behave when their father makes them, which he _never_ does." She glared at the man peacefully sipping tea and looking on at the chaotic table.

"They are only playing, Sango dear." He told her, his eyes flashing mischievously.  "Children, mind your mother."

"Yes dad!" both cried at once, and Sango sighed deeply.

"You see?" she turned back to Kagura and Kouga.  "Miroku's hardly a disciplinarian, but they won't listen to a word I say.  I don't know what I'd do if Shippo didn't help out with the others."

"How…many kids do you have?" they were both wondering, but Kouga was the first to say it.

"Well, there's Kiseki, she's with Shippo right now, I'm sure.  She loves spending time with him, as he's _so_ much more fun than a pair of old grown-ups like us." Sango rolled her eyes  "She's the oldest, eight in two months.  And there's Naihatsu, he's second oldest, and he loves to give me a hard time, he's just six." She indicated the boy who was now eating politely as she could have wished.  "And next to him is Hinata, who is the third oldest, five years old now.  She's a bit fussy, but a sweet child.  And Shippo also has the twins, Yoru and Asa.  They're only three, and a complete handful, but he loves playing with them.  And Jouka is sleeping in the next room.  She's almost one.  With the one I'm carrying now," she patted her still small stomach.  "That makes…seven."

"Seven?" Kagura choked.  "What, you want to start your own village?"

"I never really thought about it…" Sango frowned.  "Seven is enough, isn't it, Miroku?"

"I cannot help if we are extremely blessed." He told her warmly.  "Why should we question the wonder of life and its many joyous bounties?"

"I don't think that's how _I_ would put it." Sango made a face at Kagura.  "_He's_ never had swollen ankles."

"I believe it takes _two_ people to create a child, Sango." Miroku told her, his voice calm.  She pelted a piece of bread at him in just the way that Naihatsu had attacked his sister only a little while ago.  Kagura nearly choked on her laughter.

"Then I guess we should get separate beds." She told him.  "And don't say things like that in front of the children!  How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Countless, I am sure." He winked at her and smiled broadly.  He might look older, but he was the same man they had known all those years ago, that was for sure.

"What about you two?  Do you plan on having any children?" Sango asked, blinking curiously as she turned to Kagura, who immediately went the color of a tomato.  "Or…oh, I'm sorry."

"No…we're not…she just…" Kouga was blustering his way through an explanation.  Miroku was chuckling at the scene, and Sango was looking utterly mortified.

"I'm so sorry!  I didn't even think…I guess, you two came together, and you're living together, I just thought…oh, it doesn't matter, anyway." She flushed.  "I just…you seem to get along very well, at least."

"We're best friends." Kagura felt a bit better talking about that.  "After what happened, he was the one that looked after me.  And now…I don't know where I'd be if he hadn't kept with it."

"I couldn't give up on her." He smiled at Kagura warmly.  "She's…important to me."

"I'm sure." Miroku gave them both a knowing look.  "I hope Shippo returns soon.  He has grown up quite a bit, though it is odd that he seems to age so much more slowly than our own children."

"Youkai are like that." Kouga nodded.  "We age about half the speed of humans as children, and once we're fully grown, we slow down even more.  That's why Kagura and I look the same after eight years.  We're grown, and our bodies don't change much."

"If you didn't mind me asking…how old are you, Kouga?" Sango asked.

"Oh, no, only women get mad at that question." He smiled at the taijiya.  "I'm sixty-three."

"You're…" Sango paused, eyes goggling, then she seemed to pick herself up and reassemble her calm face.  "Sure." She shrugged.

"So you see." He told her.  "I'm really not that old.  Kagura, of course, is much younger than me.  But Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were a lot older."

"Really?" Sango blinked.  "How…um, how old were they, do you think?"

"Well, it's hard to tell." He rubbed his chin.  "I don't know if Inuyasha aged when he was on that tree, but even without that fifty years, he was at least eighty."

"Eighty?"  Sango snorted.  "He acted like he was five."

"Really." Kagura rolled her eyes.  "It was shameful."

"Sesshoumaru has to be…hmm…I'd say he's well over one hundred years old, but I don't know by how much.  He's hard to judge." Kouga admitted.

"Cause he's so pretty." Kagura noted helpfully.

"How can you even tell?"  Sango asked.

"I don't know…you just sort of…know." Kouga explained.

"Sesshoumaru and Rin are mated." Kagura supplied.  "They have two kids."

"They are not!" Sango exclaimed, disbelief thick in her voice.  "He's…he's…five times her age!  At least!"

"Well, think about Inuyasha and Kagome, it wouldn't have been much less of an age difference." Kagura pointed out.  "It seemed weird to me too, at first.  I mean, remember she was just a little girl, and he was sort of a father to her.  But I guess…time can change these things.  And she _did_ say she'd marry him when she grew up."

"Good gods." Sango pressed a hand to her forehead.  "Miroku, our daughters are _not_ marrying men that are four times older than them!  I don't care _what_ species they are."

"If you say so, dear." Miroku nodded slightly.  "Were you two hoping to see Kagome, as well?"

"Oh, do you know where she is?" Kagura perked up.

"Well, it is an odd thing." Miroku mulled over his words.  "You see, after what happened, she visited for a while.  But then she came to tell us that she had found someone.  She would not say much about it, but we finally found out that when she met him, his aura…she recognized it, you see.  It was Inuyasha.  Well, his reincarnation, I suppose.  They were married a few years back.  We were able to meet him before they moved to another country.  She does not get to visit us anymore, though."

"It's sad." Sango sighed.  "But about once a year, she does come down for a day or two.  Last year, she had a baby.  That was rather happy, and she seems a lot better.  At first, we were worried she would never forgive herself."

"That's really strange." Kagura noted.  "Do you think…their souls might be connected?"

"We believe so." Miroku nodded.  "As Kikyo's reincarnation fell in love with Inuyasha, and his reincarnation fell in love with her.  It is much too odd to be coincidence."

"That is really romantic." Kagura sighed.  She nearly yelped when she felt Kouga's hand cover hers under the table.  Then she concentrated on not blushing horribly.  "I'm glad she's happy."

"Me too." Kouga added, smiling at her warmly.  She was having a really hard time not blushing.  He was obviously being malicious with his cute little hand holding smiling actions.  He just wanted to embarrass her.

"Now then, would you two like to stay the night here?" Sango asked.  "I'm sure we can find you a couple futons _somewhere_, and Shippo should be back before it gets too dark."

"If he comes back late, Sango yells at him." Miroku explained.

"I do _not_.  I only ask where he was." Sango straightened indignantly.  "Is it wrong for a mother to worry?"

"Mom!" in came a little girl who looked almost exactly like Sango.  "We're home!"

"Speak of the devil." Miroku waved to the tall boy entering with two children on his back.  "Welcome back, Shippo."

"We went to the river, and then Shippo caught _five_ fish, and I counted them and then we cooked them and had them for lunch and then Asa almost fell in the river but he picked her up with _one_ hand!" Kiseki was telling her mother of her adventures in a rapid voice.

"Kagura, Kouga?" Shippo was much taller than they remembered, but he still looked like he was not much more than a teenager by human age standards.  "Long time no see!"

"It's good to see you," Kouga nodded politely.

"You're so tall!" Kagura stood and actually hugged him, to Kouga's utter displeasure.  "You're taller than _me_ now!  You were so small last time I saw you!"

"Amazing, isn't it?" Sango was amused by Kagura's reaction to Shippo.  "I couldn't believe it when he was finally taller than me."

"I wonder, how tall is Kohaku now?" she asked, her eyes still excited and smiling.  "Humans grow much faster, he must be an adult."

"Oh." Sango paused, and even Miroku seemed to falter.  "He…well, he left here a long time ago.  He said he was looking for something.  I get letters once in a while…I don't really know where he is, though."

"I'm sorry." Kagura immediately felt guilty.  "I'm sure he misses you."

"Yes.  He just…after Naraku." Sango sighed.  "He never really forgave himself."

"I know how that can be." Kagura nodded sympathetically.  "It's hard to let go of the things you've done wrong."

"Kagura still can't really let it go." Kouga explained.  "The tribe loves her, and she still…well, I guess it isn't something I can ever really understand.  She's a good person."

"Yeah, she is." Sango agreed.

"You guys…stop." Kagura flushed.  "It's embarrassing.  Anyway, let's finish dinner!"

When Kagura sat down, Kouga grabbed her hand again.

She didn't pull away.

----------

"Kagura…are you sleeping?" Kouga hissed at the girl in the bed next to him.

"Not with you doing that, I'm not." She stuck her tongue out at him and grumbled.  "What's up?"

"I wanted to say thanks." He told her.

"For _what_?" she groaned.  "I was sleeping."

"For making me come back and see everyone.  You were right.  It was a good idea." He told her.

"I'm always right, of course." She giggled lightly.  "Now go back to sleep so I can rest.  If you wake them up, I'm pretending to still be asleep."

"You're horrible." He chuckled softly.  "Just one more thing, though."

"What?" she asked, sitting up and rubbing at her tired eyes so she could see him better in the dark.

"A…goodnight kiss." He began.  "Before, there were people…I didn't want to…you know."

"Oh, fine." She huffed a sigh.  "Get it out of your system then."

"You don't _have_ to." He pouted.  She hated it when he pouted.

"Come on, you're not going to let me sleep until you've done it." She grumbled.  "I'm sleepy."

"I don't want to if you're just going to make it seem like a chore." He was still pouting.

"It's not, okay?  Just do it and be done." She leaned forward expectantly.  Several minutes passed.  He didn't move.

"Kouga?" she spoke up.  "Are you sleeping?"

"No." he answered.  "I'm not kissing you though.  Not if you're going to be _that_ way about it."

"What way?  I thought you wanted to, and now you won't?" she threw up her hands.  "You're hopeless."

"I _do_ want to, but you don't." he grumbled. "I won't force you."

"Don't be such a baby." She moved over him, pinning his shoulders and scowling down at him.  "If you don't do it, I'm going to, and then we can both sleep."

"Not if you don't want to." He maintained.  She rolled her eyes and crushed her mouth to his.  At first, it was just to prove her point, that she didn't mind it, that she liked it, and that just because she wanted to sleep didn't mean she didn't like kissing him anymore.  She just wanted to sleep.  But then…the taste of him, and the way his lips and tongue moved, and the little surprised noise he made when she first came down on him…they got to her.  She wanted to get closer, to feel more, to taste him better.  And then, before she knew it, they were _both_ under his blanket, and then she could feel it pressing against her leg, and she pulled back, gasping and blushing.

"I'll…just move back over here, then." She coughed and moved to her own futon.  It was barely any distance, and Kouga threw his arm over her.  She smiled and scooted back, letting him cuddle against her as she fell asleep.

This wasn't so bad.

It felt nice, being in love.

The End (Of Part 28, That Is)


	29. Ocean

Three hours to Teen Titans!  Will I finish the next chapter, or will it be delayed by a half hour break?  We'll see if I'm determined to prove…

Something Is Real

Part 29

"So," Kouga spoke up after they had left Sango and Miroku far behind them.  "You said that we were free for a week?"

"Yes." Kagura nodded.  They could move faster at a run, but they were in no hurry.  It was nice, walking side by side.  "We could get back early, of course."

"Mm, I guess." He sighed lightly before turning to her.  "How about we just take our time getting back?  We could go visit the ocean, if you want.  It's not that far, and we'd get back in time still."

"I've never seen the ocean." She admitted.  "How far is it?"

"If we head there now, I think we could just make it before nightfall." He told her, his eyes alight with excitement.  She giggled at the enthusiasm he was showing and nodded.

"Okay, then." She agreed.  "Which way is it?"

"We can stay on this road." He told her, grabbing her hand in his to walk a bit faster.  "And then about twenty minutes from now, we'll hit a turn off that leads to the ocean.  It'll take longer than flying or running, but…"

"I like this." She finished.  "It's nice, walking with you."

"Yeah." He flushed slightly.  "Yeah." And then, on impulse, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.  Kagura felt red spots bloom on her cheeks as she tried not to smile and failed miserably.  "Kagura?"

"Yeah?" she looked up and realized they were still holding hands.  And it seemed so nice.  So comfortable.

"Have you…um, have you thought about it at all?" he asked, looking away as though the trees were intensely fascinating.  She smiled and looked away as well.  "You know…what I said?"

"Yeah, I have." She answered honestly.  "I just…I really like being with you like this, Kouga.  It feels right.  But you know, I don't know how to tell if I'm in love with you.  I know I like being loved…and if you want, I'll…um…I'll stay with you.  It's not like anyone else would ever…"

"Don't." he stopped her, physically as well as verbally.  "Don't say that.  It's a stupid thing to say, and it makes me mad every time you sell yourself short like that.  It's like you're calling me an idiot for caring about you."

"Oh." Kagura wasn't sure what she could say to that.  "I'm sorry…I just, don't really understand it, you know?"

"So many people care about you, and you still don't see why?" he sighed, shaking his head and smiling ruefully.  "Don't you see it?"

"See what?" she asked, her eyes wide and searching.  "That's what I'm asking!  I don't know what _it_ is."

"Well," Kouga looked around trying to think of what to say.  "I don't know, really.  There's lots of things about you that people like.  You're just a good person, Kagura."

"Me?" she giggled.  "I killed half your tribe, and _I'm_ a good person?"

"Every time someone says something good about you, why do you always have to remind them of everything bad you've ever done?" he demanded, frustrated as he turned to continue walking, dropping her hand and causing her to scramble to catch up.  "Can't you just take it and say thank you?"

"I…just…" she felt suddenly stupid.  She was making Kouga angry, she knew.  That had not been her intention, and the fact that he wasn't meeting her eyes and was walking so fast told her clearly that he was ready for the conversation to end.  "I guess I can't."

"What?" he turned, not expecting that, but he didn't slow down at all.

"I don't understand a lot of things, I guess." She explained to him.  "What love is, _why_ it is, compliments…how to just accept that there's something good about me.  I feel guilty letting people believe that I'm good.  I'm not."

"You _are_." He insisted, whirling on her.  "Why do you have to fight about things that are stupid?  Everyone knows you're good!  Think about it, Naraku's bad, right?"

"He was, yeah." Kagura could understand that easily enough.

"And you fought against him, right?" he continued.  She nodded and he waved a hand in annoyance.  "Then see, you're good."

"That seems like a pretty strange way to figure." She grumbled.  "I mean, what if there was someone really evil, and he fought against Naraku only because he wanted more power.  Does that make him good?"

"That's because he's selfish, so no." Kouga told her.

"I was selfish, too." She pointed out.  "I wanted to be free, for my own sake.  That's not helping anyone but me."

"You didn't want to protect anyone?" he asked her, sounding like he already knew the answer.  Kagura mulled over the question.

"Well…yeah, but that's because I'm still selfish.  I wanted to keep my friends." She explained.

"Kagura, what you don't see," he told her as they walked.  "Is that sometimes, there are lines between good and bad, selfish and selfless, but those lines blur.  You can do something for yourself that is still selfless."

"How do you figure?" she asked.

"If we got in a fight right now with some random youkai, and one of us had to die, I would let it take me." He told her, his voice solemn and serious.  "Why?  Because I want you to live, because I love you, and I care about you more than anyone else.  But think about it, isn't that selfish of me to die so that I don't have to hurt when you die?  At the same time, I'm giving my life to protect yours, so it's selfless."

"You would really _do_ that?" she asked, her eyes wide, her mouth gaping in awe.

"Would you?" he asked, blinking at her and cocking his head in curiosity.

"I…if it was just us, and one of us had to die?" she mulled over this.  "Well…I'd be worthless if I lived, but the tribe _needs_ you, so of course I'd go."

"That's a stupid way to think, but see?" he asked her.  "You're a good person, too."

"Okay." She shrugged finally.  "If you say so."

"I do."

"Kouga?" she stopped, and he turned to her.  She pecked him on the cheek and smiled, blushing bright red.  "Thanks."

----------

"Come _on_!  I know you can do it too!" Kouga laughed as he watched Kagura standing doubtfully on the shoreline, her toes barely getting wet in the surf.  "Don't tell me you can't swim!"  Silence greeted him, as Kagura continued to scowl at him, the ocean, or both.  "Kagura!"  stopping his teasing for a moment, he dove down under the surface and swam swiftly back to the shore, popping up when he got to the shallows.  "Come out this far, at least."

"I'll get my kimono wet." She pointed out the obvious.

"Change into a yukata!" he rolled his eyes, face pleading and as excited as it had been when he first asked her if she wanted to visit the beach.  "Come on!  Why would you visit the ocean without even _touching_ the water!?"

"I am touching it." She told him.  "It's cold."

"It feels good!" he insisted, splashing up toward her.  "Change, or I'll drag you in!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going." She nearly bolted up the beach toward the little hut they'd rented for a few days.  "So pushy." She grumbled as she crossed the wide bar of sand, up through the grass and climbed up the grassy hillock to the hut, where she quickly changed into a light cotton sleeping robe.  "Okay, I'm coming!" she called out as she exited the hut.  But when she looked out at the ocean, she couldn't see him.  That was odd.  Shrugging, she started down toward where she'd been before.  He was probably just underwater, swimming around again.  Very funny of him to rub that in her face.  Where was she supposed to learn to swim?  She could wade easily enough, as obviously, she bathed regularly, but she had never had a _reason_ to jump into a large body of water and paddle around.  It was silly.

Still huffing, she stomped her way down to the waterline and looked around.  "Kouga?" she was starting to worry.  Maybe he'd gotten caught in one of those…what did he call them…riptides?  Maybe some sea monster had grabbed him and pulled him under, and he couldn't possibly escape it, or breathe at all, and he was drowning?  "Kouga!?" she was going to panic.  She _was_ panicking.  "Kouga!"

"Right here!" she yelped in surprise as the voice was accompanied by a pair of arms scooping her up and over his shoulder.  He marched her out into the water, laughing as she started screaming and beating at his back.

"Put me _down_!  Right now!  I'll kill you, I swear it, just put me down!" she was hysterical.  What the hell was he doing?  They were going out far!  He was in up to his waist when he slung her down and dropped her fully in the cold water.  She came up spluttering, soaked, shivering, and enraged.

"Nice, isn't it?" he asked, trying not to laugh and failing miserably.

"You are so dead." Her voice was cold fury as she leapt at him, but the smile on her face belied her anger for amusement.  "I've got you now!" she grabbed his tail and he yelped in surprise as she started laughing at her advantage.  "Gotcha."

"Let go!  That hurts when you pull it like that!" he whined.  "That's cheating, anyway."

"And sneaking around behind the hut _wasn't_?" she asked, utterly pleased with herself until a wave came up behind her and caught her by surprise, almost pulling her down.  It did force her to let go of Kouga's tail, however, and he splashed a bit away from her, laughing smugly.

"Gotta watch out for the waves." He told her, "If you jump into them, they won't get you like that."

"It's pulling at me from underneath!" she cried out in alarm.  "Is there something down there?"

"The riptide, I told you, that's what it does." He winked at her.  "Gotta watch out for _that_ too."

"The ocean doesn't seem very fun to me.  Mostly just dangerous and cold.  And really salty." She pouted.

"You're no fun." He stuck his tongue out.  "If you could swim, you'd like it better."

"Like I trust you to teach me after what _you_ just did." She stuck her lower lip out and started tramping back toward the waterline.  "I'm sick of this, I'm going back to the hut.  You come in when you wear yourself out."

"You're not gonna make me dinner, are you?" he asked, mock horror on his face.  She scooped up a double-handful of water and tossed it at him in retribution for his teasing.

"I would poison it!" she stuck her tongue out at him before running up to the shore, where she rested to watch him play around for a bit.  Then she crossed the sand and climbed up to the hut, shivering horribly by the time she entered it.  "Stupid cold ocean.  It's freezing." She grumbled as she stripped off the itchy, cold yukata and set it on a shelf before crossing to start the fire while still naked and wet, goose bumps covering her entirely.  "I hate this stupid…dammit." She was shaking so bad that it took her three tries to get the fire started, and by the time she had she was in a high temper.  "I'll cook _him_ some dinner, all right.  He's such a damn kid sometimes."  She stood in front of the fire, drying herself with her hands and trying to wring out her hair.  "Salt in my hair…great." She grumbled.  "I hate the ocean."

"Hey, Kagura, you should see…" Kouga's voice trailed off and Kagura turned around before realizing she was still naked, screaming, and grabbing the closest thing to her, a pot, which she threw at his head before running for her kimono.  "Ow!  Fuck, you didn't need to attack me!"

"You came in here!  I was naked!" she cried out in outrage, wrapping the inner robe close before throwing on the over robe and cinching them both tightly.  "You knew I was changing!"

"I gave you like twenty minutes!  Who takes that long?" he asked, still rubbing his shoulder where the pot had hit when he failed to fully dodge it.

"Obviously _I_ do." She defended, pulling on her obi and wrapping it firmly before tying it on.  "You're such a pervert.  I let you kiss me a couple times and you're trying to just sneak peeks now?  You're…worse than Miroku!"

"No way!  Don't even say that!" Kouga was trying to stay serious, but now he was actually smiling.  "I see you _once_, and I'm suddenly on a level with him?  That's not fair at all."

"Well…if you want to make it up, dinner better be damn good." She couldn't help smiling at that point.  "Is your…head hurt?"

"You got my shoulder." He told her.  "It's fine." He set about pulling things out and moving them to start making dinner.  "If you want to make it up…"

"What?" Kagura asked, frowning slightly.

"I'm not sleeping on the floor tonight." He told her, his tone serious.  "And neither are you."

"Oh."  Kagura felt her stomach flip over.

"I didn't mean…like _that_." Kouga immediately defended his integrity.  "It's just…I like sleeping close to you.  Just don't…tease me or anything, or it _will_ be like that."

"Oh, okay then." Kagura felt considerably better.  She moved over to the doorway and did a double take as she saw the sun setting over the ocean.  "Oh…Kouga, look."

"Yeah, the sunset." He was getting up then, moving to stand behind her, his arms around her waist,  "Pretty, isn't it."

"Ew!  You're still all wet!  Don't grab me until you've dried off and don't feel like a _fish_!" Kagura wriggled away from him, her smile letting him know he was only teasing.

"Way to wreck the mood, Kags." He teased her.

"Yeah, well, I want the dinner to be done sometime this _year_." She told him matter-of-factly.

"Working, mistress." He gave her a ridiculous bow and returned to his work as she returned to the sunset.

"You're right, though.  It really is pretty."

The End (Of Part 29, That Is)


	30. Reality

This story is so long!  I can't believe it's hit the 30 chapter mark!  It seems that…

Something Is Real

Part 30

"This is good." Kagura told Kouga as she ate the cooked scallops he had found that day.  "Really tender."

"Yeah, I wasn't sure how to cook them, but I thought boiling would work out." Kouga shrugged, never one to brag about his own passable cooking skills.  "I had some a few times when I was younger, but I never really asked how to make them.  That was the last time I really spent more than a few hours at the ocean."

"Who made them that time?" Kagura asked, blowing on the tender white meat held between the chopsticks she had brought with her for the trip.  Kagura loved eating with chopsticks, because her fingers didn't get dirty, but she could still grab things.

"My mom." He told her.  "She was from the Eastern tribe, originally." He explained, and she leaned forward, eager to hear something about Kouga's parents.  "She loved the ocean, growing up.  Their tribe lives a short run from the nearest beach, so she was the one that taught me about it.  How to swim, avoiding the undertow, waves and things, keeping away from rocks, catching food…" he paused, popping a scallop in his mouth and chewing it up as Kagura continued to listen to him.  "So when she was still alive, she used to take my sister and me out here.  We'd play in the water, she'd teach us the names of birds and animals and stuff like that."

"You…had a sister?"  Kagura nearly dropped her next scallop in surprise at this sudden information.  "I never knew that."

"Yeah, she…actually, she left the tribe when she was still just barely grown up to mate this wolf in the Eastern tribe.  I think she missed mom…after she died, Kinsha would come out here all the time.  I couldn't, really.  Dad had me busy, heading hunting parties, organizing patrols and stuff so I'd be ready when it was my turn to lead the tribe.  She met that guy, and they were mated as soon as she was old enough.  I was gonna come see her when I heard she was pregnant, but then…she…I guess she was out here, and she got too far from shore…some storm came up.  She never did listen to her instincts." Kouga sighed sadly.

"Were you two close?" Kagura asked, her voice soft.

"Yeah.  We were twins, see." He told her, and Kagura made a noise of shock.  So then, Kouga knew what it felt like, losing a sister.  He'd lost his mother too, obviously.  And his father.  So much to lose, and yet, he seemed fine, now.  Maybe the pain would lessen?

"Do you miss her still?" she wanted to know.

"I do." He admitted, tossing aside an empty scallop shell.  "She was…really smart.  Really beautiful.  She looked like mom, a lot.  Black hair, her eyes were blue, but not really like mine.  More purple, you know?  The shape was a little different, too.  And she was a girl, so obviously, she was a lot more pretty than a guy like me.  People said we looked alike, but I don't think so.  They just tried to think we did, since we were twins.  Our hair was close, but that was it.  Her skin was a lot paler than mine, too.  No matter how much time she spent outside, she never really darkened."

"I'm sorry." Kagura moved toward him, her eyes full of sympathy he knew was genuine.  Kagura could obviously understand what it was like to lose a sister.  "It hurts, doesn't it?" her voice shook as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissing the top of his head and holding him to her.  He let himself relax into the embrace, realizing that it was just as much for her sake as it was for his.  Of course, Kagura could still feel the pain of losing a sister, and even though Kinsha had died so long ago, he could still remember it, too.  It was something he never talked about.  But then, he talked about everything with Kagura.  Even the things that he had decided to forget.  She saw him, and no matter how many layers he peeled away and showed her the ugliness hiding underneath, she never judged.  She only nodded, in that way that said she knew what it must feel like to think yourself ugly.  But she didn't think he was ugly.  She thought he was a good person, no matter what he told her.

"It's just…shitty, being alone, you know." He sighed deeply, letting his head rest against her chest as she petted his hair slowly.  "I mean, not that I'm alone, really.  But losing your whole family, you know what it's like just as much, I guess."

"Yeah," she told him, watching her fingers glide carefully over his hair, stopping at his ponytail, and starting over again.  "But you know, I think we're like family to each other.  It sounds weird, but…"

"No, it doesn't." he pulled her tighter against him.  "It's not weird at all.  I _want_ you to be my family, Kagura.  In my heart, you already are."

"Is that…what it means?" she asked, lowering herself to meet his eyes, her hand leaving his head to rest on his shoulder.  "For you…loving me, I mean."

"That's part of it." He had been thinking about this a lot, lately.  "And then, there's other things.  I put you above me.  When I think of what's important, I mean.  Your life is more important than mine.  And…I would do anything to make you happy.  Just being with you is, for me…it's what I want.  I want to see you first when I wake up, and last when I go to sleep.  I want to feel you next to me, and always know that you're there, waiting for me when I leave, missing me when you leave.  I want you to think I'm the most important.  I want you to love me, too.  I want to know everything there is to know about you.  I want you to trust me as completely as I trust you.  I want to see you smile.  It's a lot of things."

"When you say things like that…" Kagura's voice was low, purring, her breath hot on his cheek as she moved forward.  "It makes me want to be close to you…so close…" she kissed him then, pressing her lips firmly to his, and he responded immediately.  It was long, slow, warm, and sweet.  It was enough to tie Kouga's stomach in knots.  "I want to always be with you, Kouga.  You make me happy.  When you talk, even when we're arguing, you're always talking to _me_, making me feel special, making me feel important, like maybe I really _am_ worth it.  If you died…if you left me, I think…I don't know what I'd do.  What would be the point, anymore?  You're the whole world, and without you, I don't think I can be who I am.  I'd die, I think.  You're the only one who understands me this way.  The only one I can tell everything to."

"You…do you love me?" Kouga's voice wavered.  She was so close.  _This_ was so close.  This was what he had hoped for, the past two night, lying tucked close to Kagura, with her seeming so trusting and sweet, cuddled against him.  She liked to wake him with soft kisses on the throat.  Her feet were cold when she climbed into bed, so she tucked her knees up in front of her chest and made a little ball, letting his warmth seep into her so she could shift and get closer to him.  She liked to play with his hair, to touch it, to run her fingers through it, to press her face into it.  Everything she did…it drove him crazy, but he couldn't take her.  He cared too much to do that, not if she didn't feel the same.

"Is that what this is called?" she asked, her voice dreamy and soft.  "This feeling like we're connected, and it hurts in my chest for us to be very far apart for very long.  I miss you all the time when I can't see you.  I need you to be there."

"Yeah, that's what it's called." He nodded, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"I must love you, then." She smiled brightly.  "I wanted it to be true.  I wanted so much for you to be happy, to keep looking at me this way."

"As long as I can see you, I'd be happy." He told her, his voice gentle.  "This is more than I really ever expected.  I hoped…but I was never sure."

"This…I think this is what she was saying." Kagura's eyes went wide, and she pulled back to look at him better.  "Before…right before, the night before.  She said there was something you had to show me…something great.  She said she'd die if it meant I could find it."

"Something real?" he asked, his eyes twinkling with the hints of a smile.

"You remember that?" Kagura blushed.  "I was stupid, back then."

"I didn't think so." He assured her.  "I thought you were something new, wonderful.  Different from anything I'd ever known.  That's what kept me coming back."

"And now?" she asked, tilting her head to one side.  "You know all about me.  I can't be exciting anymore."

"Just because I know your story doesn't mean I don't want you anymore." He told her. "At first, I said.  You kept me coming back, and then…then I fell in love with you, and you can't let go of something that means everything to you.  That's what you are to me, not just something new.  Something better than anything else."

"Kiss me again, Kouga." Kagura pleaded.  She hadn't really needed to ask.

Kouga wanted to wait, but that night, it was too much.  The emotions, the way she had to keep kissing him, feeling him, tasting him.

In the morning, they were well and truly mated.

And they were going home together.

----------

"He's so stupid sometimes." Kagura grumbled, sitting at the edge of a ledge with Ginta, who was working on sharpening his belt knife.  "I can do patrols just as good as anyone else here."

"From what I've seen of pregnant youkai, you'd probably be a lot better than even Kouga." Ginta chuckled slowly.

"I already was better." She insisted.  Ginta didn't bother treading on that subject.  They were friends, but he did not want to get involved in a fight between Kouga and Kagura.  Those were terrifying.

"Anyway, you can't really get mad at him." Ginta spoke as comfortingly as he could.  An angry Kagura was a scary Kagura.  An angry _pregnant_ Kagura was a health hazard.  "He's just worried about something happening to you."

"He worries too much." She huffed.  "Why should I have to sit around all day and be bored?  This pregnancy is _never_ going to end!  I'll go stir crazy."

"You could learn to cook with all the extra time." Ginta suggested.  Kagura's death glare made him yelp in fright.  "Or…maybe not.  You could just…sit here, then.  That sounds good."

"I think that it's healthy for me to keep moving while I'm all blown up like this." She continued presenting her case.  "Otherwise, I'll end up like a fat old auntie."

"I doubt that." Ginta snorted, blowing shavings off his knife and putting it back in its sheathe.  "You'll never be an auntie.  You'll be young until you die, Kagura."

"Is that a threat?" she teased him, giving him a look of mock horror.  "You wouldn't threaten an innocent, unborn child, would you?" she rubbed at her swollen stomach.  "Kouga would have your head for it if I told him."

"Damn straight I would." Kouga sat down beside her, and Ginta leapt up in shock.  "Calm down, I know it was just a joke."

"Eh, I just remembered." Ginta rubbed the back of his head.  "I have patrols in an hour."

"Good that _someone_ can do them." Kagura sighed heavily.  "Kouga, this is _so_ boring!  You have me totally domesticated!  I'm not a pet."

"It's only until the baby comes." He assured her, leaning over to kiss her cheek softly.  "I would never be able to keep you caged, Kags.  You're the wind, right?"

"Right." She verified, straightening her back, which only made her belly stick out more.  "But I guess for now…this is most important."

"Just let me take care of you." He smiled softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.  "You never need my help with anything.  This one time, let me."

"You say the stupidest things sometimes." She told him, rolling her eyes.  "You help me all the time.  What about after Naraku died?"

"That doesn't count." He insisted, his grin broadening as she let herself relax against him, her head lolling onto his shoulder and her arm snaking around his waist.  "That was the _one_ time you couldn't fight me to stop me from doing what I wanted."

"Really?" she arched an eyebrow, her tone teasing.  "What exactly did you _want_ to do?"

"Kagura!  I just meant that I could take care of you without having to fight you every bit of the way." He explained.  "And besides, it makes me feel good, knowing that I can do this for you and for our son."

"Son?" she looked up this time.  "Who said it was a boy?"

"Well, if it's not, we'll just have to keep trying until it is." He tapped her nose, his smile so large a dimple bit into one cheek.  "I need an heir, after all."

"What's wrong with a girl?" she insisted.  "Girls are just as good, if not _better_ than boys."

"It's just tradition." He sighed.  "I don't wanna fight about it."

"We're smarter, better leaders, better judges, _and_ we're better looking!" she told him.  "Not to mention stronger."

"Stronger?" he made a face.  "You saying the aunties are stronger than me?"

"No, but I am." She told him.

"You always say that, but I'll show you one of these days." He countered, his grin back at this familiar banter.

"Oh, sure you will." She laughed.  "Remember that time I trapped you in the dance of the dead with all those samurai skeletons?  You were _shredded_, absolutely torn up."

"But I survived just fine." He reminded her.  "I remember you running away."

"I did _not_ run away, I was bored." She insisted.  "And I felt bad for you.  You're so pathetic when you're getting your ass kicked by a girl."

"Okay, fine." He rolled his eyes.  "If we have a daughter, and she's as strong as you, _she_ can be my heir."

"Only if she wants to." Kagura stipulated as she stood up and turned back toward the caves.  "She shouldn't _have_ to."

"What do you want from me?" Kouga asked, chasing after her.  "A contract?"

"Hmm…" Kagura pretended to consider before turning into him, going up on her tiptoes and kissing his chin.  "How about a kiss?"

"That, I can do." He told her, leaning down and pouring his love for her into the kiss, the moment.  She smiled as they broke, and she didn't bother heading back, wrapping her arms around his waist instead.

"Thanks." She told him, her voice soft, warm.  Moments like these were precious to both of them.  Times when they were alone, unconcerned with the world outside of each other, and happy.  Completely happy to be with the one they loved most.

"For letting you win again?" he asked, his hand going to her hair as it invariably did.  "Like I stood a chance."

"No, you didn't." she assured him, laughing slowly, letting the sound pour out like honey to wash over both of them.  "But thanks.  And for showing me this."

"What?"

"Something real."

"I knew you'd find it."

"Thanks for waiting, then."

"No problem."

The End!


End file.
